thependulumswings

If Lefty and Shorty were still with us on Thanksgiving evening the night might have unfolded like this.

Lefty and Shorty sat quietly in the cool fall air.  It was nearly midnight and cars were nowhere to be found.  Lefty- Why do we stay open till midnight on Thanksgiving?  Shorty- So that we can discuss how Lefty is going to do Friday.  It’s a tall order.

Lefty sat to the left of Shorty.  Imagine that.  Shorty sat on the shorter of the two “halves” of the 55 gallon drum. Imagine that.  Each were cut down to size and retrofitted with a soft cushion top.  Lefty looked confused.

Lefty- How am I going to do Friday? And, what do you know about tall, Shorty?  Shorty- No.  Not you Lefty, the other Lefty.  Phil Mickelson.

Lefty- Phil Mickelson?  What’s he doing Friday?  Shorty- Haven’t you heard?  He is playing Tiger Woods in a winner take all 18 hole match.

Lefty- I haven’t heard anything about it.   Shorty- Worse yet, it’s on pay per view.

Lefty- How much?   Shorty- It’s $19.95 per household for you, and it’s nine million bucks for one of them.  Lefty- Somebody must be paying to watch.  Shorty-  Tiger has been paying since Thanksgiving 2005 when his ex-wife swung that nine iron through his back window and he crashed into the tree.

Lefty-  When is the last time Phil won any money?  Shorty-  In Vegas? Every now and then.  In a card game?  Twice a week.  In the Ryder Cup?  Maybe 1999.

Lefty- I won’t tune in Friday.  Shorty-  I might tune up my 57 Chevy.

Lefty- What happens if they play and no one pays to watch?  Shorty-  They’re about to find out.  It works for the LPGA.