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Lefty and Shorty-Trials, Tribulations, and Turtles

Way way back in 1966, or 1967 Lefty and Shorty were the amiable service station attendants.  Well, that’s what they were called back then as every pump was full serve.   Boom Boom interacted with them as they checked the oil, washed the windshield, pumped the gas, and took the money.

Lefty sat to the left of Shorty.  Imagine that.  Shorty sat on the shorter of the two “halves” of the 55 gallon drum. Imagine that.  Each were cut down to size and retrofitted with a soft cushion top.

They were funny. They always had a back and forth to their banter.  If they were alive last night might have gone like this.

Lefty- It’s nearly midnight and it’s cold. Nobody’s buying gas at this hour.  Why are we sitting here?  Shorty- So we can flip back and forth between the impeachment trial and the Kansas St. versus Kansas basketball game.   Lefty- The Senate Trial is still going on at this late hour?  Shorty- Speaking of this late hour I’ve got this last car that pulled in.  They are good tippers. Lefty- Fine.

Five minutes later.

Lefty- You missed it!  Shorty- What?  Lefty-  They tried to hit the man with the chair.  Shorty- They tried to hit Chairman “Pencil Neck” Adam Schiff?  Lefty-  No. No. It was in the game.  Shorty- Oh.  Why did he do that?  Lefty- I guess he was tired of watching his opponent try to drain threes.  Shorty- I thought maybe they were tired of watching Schiff and Nadler obstruct Trump trying to drain the swamp.  Lefty- Jeez.

Shorty- What’s Trump on trial for again?  Lefty- It’s for abuse of power and obstruction of Congress.  Shorty-  Obstructing this Congress seems like a good idea.  Lefty- What?  Shorty- Doesn’t Mitch McConnell look like a bug eyed swamp fly that we clean off of windshields all day long?  Lefty- Please.  The irreverence.  Shorty- And Nadler, he looks like a snapping turtle.  I wouldn’t get between him and a late lunch.

Silence filled the air again.  Lefty, after some deep breathing and reflection, and against his better judgment, gave it one more go.

Lefty- What do you think the final outcome will be?  Shorty- It was 81-60 Kansas, remember.  Lefty- NO!  The outcome of the trial.  Shorty- I’m not sure.  The right is screaming “four more years” and they control the Senate.  Lefty- And?  Shorty- And the left is screaming “lock him up” but don’t have the votes.  It seems bogged down like a swamp.  And, America is running out of patience.    Lefty-  I know the feeling.  Maybe the chair will be useful after all.  Shorty- Schiff?  Lefty-  I’ll lock up.

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