thependulumswings

For the first time in over 85 years, Monopoly’s 16 Community Chest Cards are about to get a “long overdue” redo, Hasbro announced last Thursday.

And, why not?  #metoo has an entirely new meaning these days, DeShaun Watson aside.  Hasbro is following the lead of Dr. Suess and the Potato Head formerly known as Mr.

Call it “woke” or call it “cancel culture,” but most of all call it corporate me too.

“True to its longstanding history of inviting its fans to help make changes to the game, and during a time when community means more than ever before, Monopoly is asking consumers worldwide to determine the new cards by voting at MonopolyCommunityChest.com,” the company said in a press release.   Actually, the long-standing history is that it rarely changed until now.

The press release drivel continues, “covering topics like beauty contests, holiday funds, and life insurance, there is no denying the Monopoly game’s Community Chest Cards are long overdue for a refresh. And, coming out of the tumultuous year of 2020, the term “community” has taken on a whole new meaning. Hasbro is counting on their fans to help reflect what community means in their real lives, into the Monopoly game, by voting for new cards like “Shop Local,” “Rescue A Puppy,” or “Help Your Neighbors.”

And on, “according to the Monopoly website where players may vote, card options include rescuing a puppy to get out of jail free or being penalized for not recycling your trash.

Woke indeed.  But perhaps they should have gone even further.  Changing just the Community Chest cards doesn’t seem inclusive enough.  BBR has a few further suggestions to iron out to bring the board game into 2021.

Pennsylvania Ave. should be eliminated.  The real-world Pennsylvania Ave. in DC has a Trump Hotel on it.  No one should have to land on that and pay the Donald rent money.

Reading Railroad should be eliminated as well.   This screams of prejudice against the illiterate.

The money that you are given to start the game isn’t enough either.  Maybe an additional $1400 for everyone whether legal, illegal, or incarcerated would be helpful in these tough times.

And, why even have a jail?  That corner space could be renamed Bill de Blasio Blvd as he always has an extra “get out of jail free” card in the rare instance that someone in NY is actually charged with a crime.

Mediterranean and Baltic should go.  No one should live on streets in such squalor.  And, Boardwalk and Park Place must go too.  No one should be able to afford such excess.  Maybe the rules could assess a property tax to the rich landowners each time they added houses and give it to the squatters of the aforementioned lower-class neighborhood.

Oriental Ave?  Really?  Wow!

The game’s goal used to be to empty your competitor’s bank account not empty recycled trash.

Maybe Hasbro could insure that everyone wins from now on.  Heck, even the name “Monopoly” should change, shouldn’t it?

One tweeter unloaded and called it a “terrible idea” and said it’s a classic board game for a reason.

“Make a new woke version if you must but please leave the original game as it is. Hopefully, you feel the pain of a massive boycott while you’re on the cancel culture bandwagon,” the user stated.

We feel the tweeter’s pain.