thependulumswings

Last evening Lefty and Shorty were all but ready to close the Gulf Station.   Rain was falling from the heavens at an accelerating pace and cars were nowhere to be found. Lefty- Why do we stay open until midnight?  Shorty-So that you and I can discuss this wacky world.

Lefty sat to the left of Shorty.  Imagine that.  Shorty sat on the shorter of the two “halves” of the 55-gallon drum. Imagine that.  Each was cut down to size and retrofitted with a soft cushion top.

Lefty- Jon Gruden resigned.  Shorty- It’s about time somebody took ownership of the fiasco under the Del Rio Bridge.  Lefty- What? Gruden, the Raiders coach. Shorty- Oh!  Maybe Jack Del Rio can take over as interim?  Why did he resign?

Lefty- Umm.  Gruden’s 10-year-old emails exposed him as a racist, a bigot, a misogynist, and a few other names that I cannot spell.  Shorty- What do 10-year-old emails have to do with the high price of oil today? Lefty- I’m dumbfounded, but in today’s cancel culture world I guess everything.  Shorty-What does dumbfounded mean?   Lefty-  Look in the mirror much?  Shorty- I’ve called Roger Goodell a few names myself from time to time.   Lefty- Everyone that has an NFL pulse has, but “gotcha” got Gruden this time.   Shorty- Frank Caliendo lost a voice.

Lefty- Moving along.   Shorty-  What’s Biden doing about the high price of oil?

Lefty- Same as he’s doing for everything.  Calling it transitory.  Shorty- Isn’t transitory one of those bad names that exposed Gruden that you can’t spell?   Lefty- Huh?  No.  He’s saying it’s only temporary.  Shorty- Like his presidency?  Lefty- Whew, you must have slept well last night! Here’s a softball down the middle for you.  Do you think Kamala takes over if Biden doesn’t quite make the four years? Shorty-  Who is harder to find these days, Kamala Harris or Brian Laundrie?

Lefty- This isn’t going well.  Shorty- You mean the gas business?  Lefty- Sure. I’ll bite.  Shorty- How can it?  We don’t have enough help.  We don’t have enough gas.  And, the cost per gallon is about to hit a decade-high price. 

Lefty- Just one more question should do it.  What do you think of the Reconciliation Bill?  Shorty- Not much.  If I was Bill I’d stay as far away from Hillary as possible.

Lefty- Be sure to lock up.  Shorty- Bill?