thependulumswings

Roughly a week ago, the machine known as the DNC dropped its latest talking points to its faithful in elected offices and an eager-to-please media.

As Carrie Bradshaw would say,  “And just like that JD Vance was weird!”  Why?  Cause everyone says so, it is so.

Much more quietly the national debt passed $35 trillion.  That doesn’t sell nearly as many ads as labeling a VP as weird to try to help get an Indian/Jamaican woman elected as the first black female president.  Got that?

And, after an attempted assassination that some are trying to label as not an attempted assassination, you might need a break.

Weird times call for weird one-liners.

How about a baker’s dozen or so one from a uniquely weird comic?  We present some of Steven Wright’s masterpieces below.

If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?

I got food poisoning today. I don’t know when I’ll use it.

Sponges grow in the ocean. That just kills me. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be if that didn’t happen.

Last week I forgot how to ride a bicycle.

I went to San Francisco. I found someone’s heart.

Is “tired old cliche” one?

I got a garage door opener. It can’t close. Just open.

If you were going to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer?

You can’t have everything. Where would you put it?

I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn’t park anywhere near the place.

On the other hand, you have different fingers.

I went to a restaurant that serves “breakfast at any time”. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.

I was sad because I had no shoes until I met a man with no feet. So I said, “Got any shoes you’re not using?”

Weird indeed.