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Ten Reasons to be Thankful
It’s that time. It’s time to be thankful for all of our blessings. Below we count 10 of them.
- We ugly Americans complain a lot, but who has it better than you? Maybe Canada does. Several Hollywood types threatened to move to Canada if former President Trump was reelected. Thankfully no news outlet has reported that the traffic at the northern border going out is similar to the traffic at the southern border coming in.
- However, Ellen Degeneres and her wife said thanks for the memories and flew over the pond to the UK. She says the move is permanent. TPS is attempting to clarify if the memories referenced were days in America or nights at P Diddy’s.
- Covid 19 is no longer. Walgreens is still advertising COVID-19 vaccination shots. Or, are they called boosters these days? They should be thankful that they ar closing only 500 stores next year.
- About 4 million illegal immigrants from 2020-2021 will celebrate Thanksgiving here because the pandemic was never bad enough to shut down the border. Will it be their last here?
- Thankfully no legacy media outlet will need to interview James Carville for another four years. Hopefully, his LSU sweatshirt will have dry-rotted by then.
- Joe Scarborough and Mika Brzezinski have made nice with Donald Trump just in time to pass the gravy. They say they will call it right down the middle from here on. Weren’t they before? They’ll be thankful if NBC still owns MSNBC in a year and Elon Musk doesn’t.
- The tariffs are coming! The tariffs are coming! Thankfully Donald Trump understands the Art of the Deal better than most.
- On Turkey Day while watching America’s Team (how bout dem Cowboys?) you won’t be interrupted by a message from a cackling hen dressed in a pantsuit.
- Donald Trump will sleep way better in the cozy White House than a penitentiary cell. “Now even Jack Smith admits the Left’s lawfare against President Trump has failed,” David Bossie, president of Citizens United, said. Both federal cases are being put on ice.
- Speaking of sleeping, turkey does not make you so. While the big bird does contain tryptophan, there isn’t enough in the gobbler to have an impact. You would have to eat about eight pounds of turkey to have a high enough level to make you sleepy.
Give it a go!
Gobble, gobble.
Night, night.
Comment section
I’m generally proud of famous people who started out in NOLA like me, but Ellen Degenerate is the exception. She is hoping the UK doesn’t have an extradition treaty with the US. Who is the comedian now? The joke’s on her.
No need for tawdry name calling. Lessons can be learned from the left on this subject you fascist Hitler like loving troll.
Last call for a Mr. Jimmy Kimmel……..final call for boarding NY-London. All aboard.
Happy T Day to all the Loyal Readers of the Pendulum………..1 pound for sleepy Joe is enough for a 4 hour nap.
Ha!
He must eat turkey every day.
I can only hope that Sleepy Joe is in a cold climate this weekend. If he was to wear those shorts at the beach, he might be mistaken for a Butterball ten pounder and promptly thrown in to a vat of peanut oil.
On another note, Canada isn’t having any of this exodus BS. It seems none of them like hockey and the whisky is horrible. Better stick to the Hollywood Hills area. It’s a foreign land all its own.
Maybe Colorado is the new Canada?
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