thependulumswings

Twenty-twenty-four is all but out of the door.  Our fearless 2025 predictions have arrived.

The first six months follow.

January

Mike Johnson retains his House Speakership.  The Oregon Ducks capture Natty #1 in their school’s history beating Georgia 34-28.  Joe Biden wishes Jimmy Carter luck for the next four years on the eve of Donald Trump’s inauguration.   Dr. Anthony Fauci warns that the H-1B Visa is a variant of the Covid-19, SARS-CoV-2 KP.2.3 virus, that must be taken seriously.  Taylor Sheridan signs on with Paramount Plus to develop yet another series, this one tentatively titled New Jersey Drones.

February

Philadelphia and Buffalo send Super Bowl LIX to overtime before the Bills win their first Lombardi Trophy 34-28, oddly the same score as the CFP Championship.  President Trump begins the deportation of illegal immigrants and is forced to call out the National Guard in Chicago.   Troublesome interest rates sink the Dow Jones under 40,000.

March

Doug Emhoff and Kamala Harris announce their pending divorce declaring they both wish to be “unburdened by what has been.”  Florida beats Auburn to capture the NCAA March Madness Basketball National Championship in an all-SEC final.   Canada agrees to become a US Territory and is renamed North of North Dakota.

April

An EF3 tornado rolls through northeast Oklahoma causing 10 million dollars of improvements.  The World Health Organization recommends the removal of all birdhouses as the bird flu caseload reaches nearly 200 worldwide.  Mitch McConnel abruptly resigns from the Senate.  After spring practices conclude the NCAA transfer portal has more players in than out.

May

Donald Trump says that the US is exiting the WHO calling its leader Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus a bird brain with a long name.  California Angels OF Mike Trout is placed on the 60-day disabled list with a chronic hangnail.  Ukraine signs a treaty with Russia ceding Crimea over to Putin.  When Joe Biden was asked to comment from his Delaware beach chair, he says “ah, Crimea, crime,a, ah, crime” was already declining in the US under his watch.

June

Hollywood, CA one way UHaul rentals surpass all previous records as the Epstein List is set to release on June 25th.  The OKC Thunder beats the Boston Celtics 4-1 to capture their first-ever NBA Championship.  LeBron James retires and concludes his presser by saying “I diddy the best I could.”  Elon Musk, feeling the power from his non-government, government position says Mars is not the final destination.  He wants to launch a rocket aimed at Uranus.

July through December prognostications will hit Al Gore’s internet by week’s end.