thependulumswings

Together.  Apart.  We are a family.  We’ll get through this.  Thinking of you during tough times.  Together.

The emails started it.  Now the tv commercials are overrun with it.

Today’s ad agencies sure do have a herd mentality.  Because of that maybe some will fall victim to the thinning of the herd as the economy recovers.  Queue the soft caring music while we deliver a soft and caring message.

Some of the below are real.  Some you can imagine.  We can’t imagine why some are real.  Enough already.

REAL

Burger King

They have a real one.  “Stay Home of the Whopper.”  They are waving their delivery fees right now and they are giving a free Whopper to over 250,000 nurses.  If a Burger King delivery van pulled up in front of your house would your neighbors still talk to you?  And, can you use the words “health care” and “Whopper” in the same sentence with a straight face?

CARMAX

A forgettable car commercial is offering interest-free loans for up to 84 months.  With interest rates nearly zero percent, what are they offering?  Nothing.  Also, you can have curbside pick up.  Skip the test drive, we’ll be sure this car is running great for you.  Can’t you close your eyes and picture Chevy Chase picking up the “family truckster” for the coast to coast Vacation?

Verizon

Verizon “wants you to know during these tough times that “we’re one phone call away.”  Thank goodness.  Can’t you hear it now?  “During this COVID-19 crisis, Verizon is experiencing an unusually high volume of calls.  Your expected wait time is 42 minutes.  Or, if you prefer, please leave your number and a brief message and we’ll be sure to have someone never call you back.”  Queue the terrible “on hold” music.

United Airlines

“Because we are all in this together.”   Really?  Two months ago when my luggage weighed 52 pounds I was on my own.

IMAGINED.

Weight Watchers.

Are you struggling with a few extra pounds from being housebound?  We’ve been flattening curves for over 50 years.   Special note-Tampa residents you can get your first week of meals free just like our schools do year-round.

NFL.

We believe in social distancing.   In fact, our rules have insured social distancing by defensive players from our quarterbacks for years.  Apart.  Forever.

Nine Lives Cat Food

Time to take advantage of one?  Enough said.

China

We are the manufacturer and supply chain leader to the world.  What you need when you need it.  And what you don’t need when you don’t want it, too.  Together, unfortunately for us.

Camel (unfiltered).

Time to burn one?  Why not?

Planters

Let our experience going nuts help you through yours.

Life Cereal

Do you even have to ask?

Charmin

We’ve missed you.  Have you missed us?

Hallmark 

We’ve been writing these syrupy hollow lines on cards for years.  Thinking of you during these times.

Time for a Zoom meeting.  Friday is only four short days from now.