thependulumswings

Alas, another week has come and gone in these COVID-19, new normal, #apartogether, rioting, unprecedented times.

Enough of the heaviness already.  We think that a peaceful protest is in order.

Who better to do that than one of the best comics ever.  We take a swing at what Rodney Dangerfield would have to say today if he were witnessing these daily train wrecks.

1.  These ANTIFA kids are stupid you know, very stupid.  Do they even know what they are fighting about?  I can relate though.  I come from a stupid family myself.   During the Civil War my great uncle fought for the west!
2. Looking at all of this rioting and looting makes me sick.  Not as sick as my mother was once though.  Are you kidding me,  my mother had morning sickness after I was born.
3. There’s too much hate in this world.  Too much I tell ya.  It’s been festering a long time.  How long?  I’ll tell you how long.  My parents hated me so much that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.  Ah, don’t give me that BS, it’s a funny line!
4.  I wish so many people weren’t dying needlessly though.  My uncle had a wish way back when as well.  His dying wish was to have me sitting on his lap. He was in the electric chair!   No respect.
5. The police are in a tough spot.  They are in a very tough spot, that I can tell you.  The situation reminds me of way back when for one of them.  Once when I was lost I saw a policeman and asked him to help me find my parents. I said to him, “Do you think we’ll ever find them?” He said, “I don’t know kid. There are so many places they can hide.”
6. You get to a point looking at the tv that you feel like you can’t take it anymore.   You need help.  I know the feeling.  I remember I was so depressed years ago.  I was going to jump out a window on the tenth floor. They sent a priest up to talk to me. He said, “On your mark…”
7.  It got worse.  I met the surgeon general. He offered me a cigarette.
8.  And worse.  I was making love to this girl and she started crying. I said, “Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?” She said, “No, I hate myself now.”
9.  And it finally bottomed out.  My wife made me join a bridge club. I jump off next Tuesday.
10.  I needed help.  I got the advice of a professional.  My psychiatrist told me I’m going crazy. I told him, “If you don’t mind, I’d like a second opinion.” He said, “All right. You’re ugly too!”

No respect at all!