thependulumswings

If Lefty and Shorty were still with us last evening might have unfolded like this.

Lefty and Shorty sat quietly in the cool but nice fall air.  It was 10:30 PM, and cars were nowhere to be found.  Lefty- Why do we even stay open this late?  Shorty- I guess so that we can discuss this crazy world that we live in today.

Lefty sat to the left of Shorty.  Imagine that.  Shorty sat on the shorter of the two “halves” of the 55-gallon drum. Imagine that.  Each was cut down to size and retrofitted with a soft cushion top.

Lefty- What about Iran?  Shorty- How far?  Lefty- Iran, the country.  Shorty- I knew you were quite the runner in high school, but cross country at your age?  Lefty- Stay with me.  Iran, the country, was identified by the FBI as interfering in our election.  They sent threatening emails to Democratic-leaning voters saying they would be harmed if they didn’t vote for Trump.  Shorty-  Good idea, wrong candidate if you ask me.  Iran must lean to the left, Lefty.  Lefty- Russia is at it again, too, they said.  Shorty- Seems like they get blamed for everything.

Lefty decided a long pause might reset the dialogue.

Lefty- At least China isn’t accused.  Shorty- They already did more than Iran and Russia combined.  Lefty- How so?  Shorty-  They gave us the China virus.  That’s the most divisive topic across our country today. Lefty- The China virus?  Shorty- That’s what Trump calls it.

Lefty- Let’s change gears shall we?  Shorty-  It’s too late.  That car can wait till the morning.  Lefty-Ummmm.  I meant let’s talk about something else.  Shorty- Ok.

Lefty- What do you think about Hunter?  Shorty- As long as people eat what they kill I think it’s fine.  Lefty- Don’t put ideas in my head.  Shorty- Huh?  Lefty-  I’M TALKING ABOUT HUNTER BIDEN.  Shorty-  Ah, I guess China gave us the virus and gave Hunter 10 million or so.   Bad for our country, but good for him.   Lefty- Where’s the proof of that?  Shorty- In a big safe in daddy Joe Biden’s basement I’d guess.  Why else would he spend so much time down there?

Lefty- Amy Coney Barrett is going to get voted through to the full Senate today.  Shorty- To replace Ruth Bader Ginsberg.  Lefty- Yes.  Shorty- Why do all Supreme Court justices always get referred to by their full names?

Lefty took the deepest of deep breaths.

Lefty- Are you going to watch the debate tomorrow night?  Shorty- No, I won’t.

Lefty- I’m going to refill the soft drink machine.  Shorty- I’ll help.  Lefty- No, you won’t.