Author: thependulumswings staff

Pick and Choose

Posted on by thependulumswings staff

There are some things that you can pick and choose, some that you can’t, and some that you shouldn’t.

For example, you can pick your friends, but you can’t choose your neighbors.

When you go to the movie you can choose your seat, but you shouldn’t pick the seat of your pants.

You can choose a red apple over a Granny Smith green one.  But you can’t pick your granny much less your mom and dad.

Therefore, you cannot pick your genealogy, race, or gender.

But, in the world we live in today, lo and behold, it seems that you can pick your gender even after your gender finalized its identity at the end of two strings of 23 chromosomes each.

Transgender is the T in the LGBTQIA2S+ and seems to be all of the rage and outrage of the day.  At the appropriate age, hopefully at least 18, we suppose if you wish to identify as another sex it is your right to do so.

It’s your life to live, so live it in a way that makes you happy.  Wear a dress if you wish, or stop wearing one if you don’t want to do so.  But when you cross(no pun intended) into gender reassignment surgery after taking medicines made to suppress your normal hormonal development it truly is a different world.

One can only hope that much thought and consideration has been given to the outcome before the outcome is final.  This leads the conversation to who has the right to do what, when, and to whom.

It has long been thought by this writer that the most heinous crimes committed are those that cause children great harm.  They look to parents, teachers, family, community, and government(unfortunately) for leadership.

To indoctrinate youngsters through the education system, put them in the same restrooms, purposely expose them to drag queens, and so on is wrong.  Children are very impressionable.

If a dad throws a baseball to his young son his son wants to grow up to be a baseball player. If a dad dresses a boy like a girl he grows up wanting to be a girl.  On one level it really is that simple.  Who you are is at least half determined by how you are raised.

A child doesn’t have enough common sense or education to drive, vote, etc. but they can choose their gender?  Help us all.

When parents agree to drugs and eventual surgery for an adolescent they have crossed a very serious line.  It might take the dense ones in the crowd 10-15 years to realize the atrocity being committed today.

Thankfully some 19 states now have laws banning various treatments for minors.  It should be 50 and it should be 50 right now.

Some states are banning men from women’s sports.  As an aside, why aren’t women trying to compete in men’s sports?   Why not go to genderless sports?  You know why.

Arkansas enacted a bill yesterday banning transgender students from using the bathroom of their choice in public schools.  It’s a step, but it’s not enough.

For the 14 people who still read USA Today, yesterday they named a transgender lawmaker from Minnesota their “Woman of the Year” alongside Michelle Obama.  Really?

As another aside, what did either do to earn the distinction?  Who cares?  No one is who.

Why even call it a Woman of the Year award if you can be a biological man and be recognized for something that you are not?  Just eliminate the gender part to make sense of this nonsense.

Keep up with the stupidity.  There are plenty of stupid prizes for stupid people.

Don’t blame a clown for acting like a clown.  Blame yourself for going to the circus.

Kids used to love the circus.  Now, it would be way better if they didn’t see it or get asked/told to be in one of the three rings.

Keep your pronouns(which actually serve as adjectives) to yourself.

And, most of all leave the children out of it.

MAGA, MAFA, MOFO

Posted on by thependulumswings staff

It seems unlikely that we can Make America Great Again(MAGA).  Elections, 81 million voters, election denials, impeachments, insurrections, and classified documents seem to have derailed the Trump train like the one in East Palestine, OH.

Maybe we could at least Make America Fun Again(MAFA).  It would be nice to wake up with less stress and have a thing or two to smile about.

Cause right now and for the better part of three years it’s been MOFO-no further explanation needed.

If you head to the grocery store and hit double-digit purchases the cash register hits triple-digit costs.  This assumes that what you want is in stock.

Of course, the cost of funding Ukraine’s war makes grocery shopping look like a bargain.  If you oppose the funding half of the citizens label you a Putin/Russia lover.  Never mind that NATO requirements far surpass the way Ukraine is run to consider them joining.

At least Biden is waging war on banks that charge too much when you fail to pay on time.  Never mind that a few are failing.  Bailouts cost depositors beyond 250k nothing when the bank has run out of money.  Rules used to mean something.

Did you want to buy a house?  Interest on 30-year money is 7.3% or about double what it was a year ago.  Did you want to sell your house?  Read the sentence two back from this one.  But, banks can’t make money cause short-term rates make borrowing too expensive apparently.

Minnesota Democrat Lt. Gov. Peggy Flanagan on an executive order “protecting” access to “gender-affirming care” said, “When our children tell us who they are, it is our job as grown-ups to listen and to believe them.”  Remember when it was a child’s job to listen to their parents and believe them?

At least that sounds fun.  You can be whoever you want to be.

If you’re nearing retirement age you can enjoy the fruits of your labor by supplementing the social security check with your 401k savings and earnings.  Well, you can enjoy half as much fruit anyway.

Be happy if you were/are a supporter of the southern border wall that the Trump Administration was building.  The good news is that sections of it and supplies to build it are still there, just resting rusting on land that our government is leasing at a cost of about 130k a day, or just about 50 million a year.  No supply chain shortage there.

The global demand for cocaine has reached record levels as use rebounds following coronavirus lockdowns. North America leads the way in demand for the illicit substance.  Are you surprised?  It flows pretty freely across the border and gives one an escape from all of the above we presume.

At least the China virus that you can’t call the China virus is done.  Isn’t it?  If not, vax and boosters are still free.

Some of the best things in life are free.

Right now, they just aren’t much fun even if Kamala is cackling daily.

Hey MOFO, lets MAFA!

 

 

 

3.14159265359

Posted on by thependulumswings staff

Happy Pi day.

Happy birthday to Albert Einstein born on this day in 1879.

We’re serving up ten eleven skinnylichious nuggets that in theory would make Einstein proud.  It’s all relative.

  1.  Warren Buffett has famously said, “you have to wait until the tide goes out to see who is swimming naked.”
  2.  Well it looks like a couple of regional banks (no longer) were skinny dipping and we’re guessing a handful more are desperately looking for their trunks today.
  3. Not to worry, the Biden Administration jumped into action and will make everyone whole.  Actions used to have consequences.  The FDIC insurance only covers the first 250k that anyone or any entity had under one roof.  No more.  No more, that is, until yesterday.  So was it a bailout?
  4. “Investors in the banks will not be protected,” Mr. Biden said. “They knowingly took a risk, and when the risk didn’t pay off, investors lose their money. That’s how capitalism works.” So, no it wasn’t.
  5. “The Fed has basically just written insurance on interest-rate risk for the whole banking system,” said Steven Kelly, senior research associate at Yale’s program on financial stability.  “I’ll call it a bailout of the system.”  So, yes it was.
  6. “During the financial crisis, there were investors and owners of systemic large banks that were bailed out,” Treasury Secretary Janet Yellen said in an interview with “Face the Nation” on Sunday. “And the reforms that have been put in place mean that we’re not going to do that again.”  So, no it wasn’t.
  7. Who has been worse at their job?  Is it Pete Buttigieg?  Or, is it Janet Yellen?  Or…..   If you answered Joe Biden, you’d be with the 84% of Americans polled last week that do not want him to run for a second term.
  8. Yellen told us 15 months ago that this inflation was transitory.  She didn’t tell us exactly how long this transition would take, however.  Yellen is the poster senior citizen for white hair privilege.  Is her salon Hair by Einstein? Pete’s tenure as Secretary of Transportation, paternity leave aside, has been one train wreck after another.
  9. Those reforms didn’t stop Donald Trump from getting blamed for this in Biden’s opening remarks yesterday about the crisis.  When in doubt, blame Trump. “During the Obama-Biden administration, we put in place tough requirements on banks, including the Dodd-Frank Law, to make sure the crisis we saw in 2008 would not happen again.   Unfortunately, the last administration rolled back some of these requirements.”
  10. There is only so much time in a day’s work for Biden to reverse Turmp’s evil doings in the first 2 plus years of office.  This is especially true when Biden has spent nearly 40% of his time in office actually not in his office.  Official documentation shows that he has been either on vacation, at his beach house in Delaware, his main house in Delaware, or at Camp David, or biking, or skiing, or….
  11. President Biden’s former press secretary Jen Psaki said her ex-boss’s Monday morning speech on the stability of the US banking system demonstrates how important the issue is to him since he normally “does nothing at 9 a.m.”  Amen.

If you wish, go ahead and splurge with a good old slice of cherry pie to celebrate the day.

They’ve All Got It Wrong

Posted on by thependulumswings staff

In a quest to make you think their side is right, they’ve all got it wrong.

To put it mildly, January 6th, 2021 wasn’t the best day in our country’s history.  We doubt that you need a reminder, but it was what is now called Insurrection Day.

What went wrong leading up to the angry mob entering the Capitol Building, while in the building, and afterward?  Everything.

Then President Trump put himself before the country by denying the election results.  We’re still waiting for credible evidence of that at a level that would be meaningful.

Too many of his followers are followers and not clear thinkers and decided to cross a (fence) line.  Once there, there is no going back.

Trump knew as much and asked Nancy Pelosi days before if she wanted him to activate the National Guard to help with the protest control.  She declined.  Trap set.

Once inside the building, more of them looked like the joggers that ran behind Forrest Gump when old Forrest decided to stop in the middle of nowhere.  Now what? Stupid and harmless.

Did the government actively participate in whipping the crowd into the fervor it took to storm/push/walk casually in?  Was Ray Epps a paid FBI informant?  The select committee of all Democrats plus Liz Cheney says no.  The hard right says yes and supposedly Epps will testify as such in the new House’s investigation.

Have numerous judges doled out sentences for what amounts to trespassing for some participants seem harsh?  When you watch the daily blatant theft and violence that numerous cities now fail to arrest much less prosecute for the answer seems like “hell yes.”

Did the Dem stacked committee shape the story by selectively showing us footage inside?  You bet they did.  It’s called political theater.

Rep Josh Hawley is seen running for his life in the committee’s opportunistic edited video and laughed at for doing so.  It turns out that he was following a crowd, not leading nor acting independently, that was following the police’s command.

The repeated and repeated story that Capitol Police Officer Sicknick was shot and killed during the riot(do you prefer insurgence?) is not true. Footage shows him alive and working through the day.

His family will tell you that the stress that this caused in turn caused him to stroke and die the next day.  That may be the true cause of his passing, and it may not.

Once Kevin McCarthy got the gavel after four failed votes he released all of the thousands of hours of video.  He released it exclusively to Fox Show Host Tucker Carlson. His standing with the far right needed a boost.

Tucker and the team created a two-part special examining the video from his point of view.  Surely his ratings will get a boost, too.

In other words, the Dems hired a former TV producer (yes they did) to help them televise the hearings that weren’t hearings, but the Republicans effectively hired a TV show with a producer to televise what they want you to see and hear.

And, like the minions that they are, the not fair and balanced networks immediately attacked Tucker’s talking points.  They said he omitted the violent confrontations but showed the protester’s calmness once inside.  They’re right.

But, they’re the same ones that have a TV reporter on the ground in St. Louis telling you that the protests are mostly peaceful all the while a now windowless Mickey D’s is ablaze in the background.  And, for that, they are wrong.

Everyone wants to tell you that they’re right because the “other side” is wrong.

See it my way.  See it my way.  It’s the only way.  Otherwise, I’m offended.

Two wrongs don’t make a right.

Neither do two dozen.

 

 

Wouldn’t You Like To Be?

Posted on by thependulumswings staff

Believe it or not, Barry Manilow was the original singer of the very popular Dr. Pepper commercial jingle that had the refrain “I’m a pepper he’s a pepper she’s a pepper we’re a pepper wouldn’t you like to be a pepper too?” back in the late 1970s.

Fast forward to the early 2020s and your US government is singing the very popular jingle “I’m a victim he’s a victim she’s a victim we’re a victim wouldn’t you like to be a victim too?”   

Don’t believe it?  Consider a few examples.

Chicago Mayor Lori Lightfoot was asked yesterday if her gender and race had anything to do with her getting trounced in her mayoral bid for a second term.  She explained away her Tuesday election loss as a result of her being a “Black woman in America.”  She’s a victim.

If there were any credible journalists left in America the follow-up should have been, “then how did you get elected the first time with over 50% of the vote if everyone is so prejudiced?   Tuesday she garnered a miserable 17%.  Was crime on the ballot?

Chicago’s crime rates on serious offenses (murder up 59% for example) and overall crime (up 33%) skyrocketed under her watch.

She talked negatively of the police.  She recommended that vendors have no cash.  She told retailers to hire private security.  They aren’t the victims of the crimes perpetrated.  She made the perpetrators the victims.

When caught only 1900 of the last 20,000 felonies charged in Chicago have been prosecuted.  The other 18,100 dismissed must be victims of the system.

You’re a victim of a worldwide pandemic.   As a victim, Congress and President Trump enacted temporary SNAP enhanced allocations in March 2020 as part of the Families First Coronavirus Response Act to “address temporary food needs” during the pandemic.

Temporary has lasted three full years.  Never mind that unemployment has been at a multi-decade low for the last 18 months.  Don’t forget your “free” shots and boosters aplenty to avoid another such disaster.

Can’t pay your federal student loan debt?  No worries, you were a victim of signing up for the money to begin with.  Uncle Joe wants to forgive you to the tune of 10k a person immediately costing taxpayers over 400 billion in the process.  Who reads the fine print saying that you have to pay it back anyways?

You would be a better reader but were neglected by not having access to preschool.  We could get “free” preschool if big corporations would just pay their fair share.  Can anyone define what “fair share” means?  Government can.  It means more.

Is climate change disproportionately affecting you and yours?  Relax.  The Inflation Reduction Act is here to help.  Huh? What’s in a name anyway?

And, you’re a victim of slavery even today.  Never mind that no one alive, nor their parents, owned slaves or were slaves.  Let’s get those reparations rolling. Don’t worry about who qualifies and how.  Just identify as being wronged and big brother will make it right.  Elizabeth Warren is rechecking her 23andMe results.

The government is here to help, always.  Unfortunately, that dependency creates a culture that perpetuates itself.

Actually, the government feeds off of feeding you.

How about a chicken in every pot?

Surely our trusted government can get those hens cranking out eggs again and soon.

You can depend on it.  Or, choose to not.

 

Ten Piece Nuggets

Posted on by thependulumswings staff

It’s been a minute.  Time to satisfy your cravings.

  1. Yesterday FBI Director Christopher Wray told  FOX Anchor Bret Baier, “The FBI has for quite some time now assessed that the origins of the pandemic are most likely a potential lab incident in Wuhan.”  Potential?  It’s already past tense, isn’t it?  Incident?  Did someone accidentally leave the front door open too long?
  2. The Energy Department said as much last week.  What does the Energy Department have to do with viruses?  We have no idea. Before you know it the big lie will complete its big reveal.   The Big Guy, aka Joe Biden, will take center stage and say, “Folks, no joke, I’m serious.  The ca ca ccoronabile virus m m emanated from Iraq, excuse me, I meant you know, Whoo Hans.”
  3. Is Fauci hiding under a rock?  He needs to be.  His day is coming.  Rand Paul lies in wait.
  4. Joe’s getting a lot of air time recently.  Monday he celebrated Black History Month in a WH speech to about 400 assembled.  Pandering to the crowd as always, he said, “I’m a white boy, but I ain’t stupid.”   Some might say that he’s approximately half right.
  5. The Supreme Court heard two cases against President Joe Biden’s student loan forgiveness plan on Tuesday.  The conservative-leaning court’s questions centered around “why isn’t Congress involved in this?”  Seems like they should be.  We have a three-branch government, not a king.  Of course, Ukraine disagrees with the prior sentence.  PS.  If your loan is a private one you get no relief.  If your loan is paid off you get no refund.  Do the right thing and get a stick in the eye.
  6. Speaking of kings, Volodymyr Zelensky admonished those in the US who oppose giving him and his country more money.  He said in effect, that either you continue to give or your sons and daughters will be shedding blood in the cause.
  7. Hopefully, the first ones to volunteer will be those that are proudly flying the Ukraine flag here daily.  We wouldn’t hold our breath on that.  We’d guess a fair number of them were also moving to Canada if Trump got elected.
  8. Speaking of queens, Mayor Lori Lightfoot of Chicago has one foot out of the door as her bid for reelection went up in flames last evening.  The burn was as bright as when Mrs. O’Leary’s cow kicked over the lantern.  Finishing third with no one achieving 50% eliminates her from the runoff.
  9. Lightfoot garnered a paltry 16% of the vote.  Stated differently, a whopping 84% of Chicagoans voted against her.  It takes great indifference and incompetence to be that bad.  She excelled at both.
  10. The torch for the worst mayor in the US now passes to Latoya Cantrell in NOLA.  A petition to recall her has sufficient signatures.  She was just reelected, but may not get to finish her second term.  One can hope.
  11. Extra, Extra!  What do Lightfoot and Cantrell’s tenures have in common? People are moving out due to runaway overall crime, record murder numbers, and a steep decline in the number of police on the force.   Crime pays.  It cost one and soon maybe the other their jobs.  Sometimes the pendulum swings take time.

Choo Choo, Pu

Posted on by thependulumswings staff

Way back when if you wanted to get the job done it was all about appearance.  Only a suit and tie would do.

But, eventually, casual Fridays gave way to casual every day which gave way to work-at-home Zoom calls.  With those calls, it is imperative that you at least appear interested in your job.

But until 18 days passed the Secretary of Transportation, Pete Buttigieg, appeared uninterested in the East Palestine train wreck.  That is, he was uninterested until the national press and the Ohio citizens were about to go off the rails themselves. Trump’s visit might have increased the “need” to go as well.

Buttigieg flew in yesterday, then put on his costume for the big stage.  He was nattily attired in jeans, dress boots, a yellow safety vest, safety glasses, a safety hat, and dress boots.

Safety first.  Who knows when or if a rouge derailed car might, well, roll over again?

Does it really matter that a figurehead gets on the ground with the folks charged with figuring out what went wrong and cleaning up the mess?  George Bush got pummelled in the press for not going to NOLA just five days after Katrina.  It must.

Perhaps it matters for the populace to feel like their government leaders care.  But make no mistake about it, Pete’s appearance was nothing more than for Pete’s sake.  He’s done nothing in two years in the position except partially filling up a leather chair when he’s not on paternity leave.

Appearances matter.  That’s why Karin Jean Claude Pepe Le Pierre took great pride in telling the WH press yesterday that Biden’s Administration is the most diverse group ever assembled.

The next closest administration is further away than Sham, the 1973 Belmont last-place finisher to Secretariat.  It’s a sham alright.  Biden’s group wins the Triple Crown- Diversity, Inclusion, and Equality.

But old Joe from Scranton gets it.  He wore a suit and tie when he took a surprise business trip to see his boss Volodymyr Zelenskyy at the company headquarters in Kyiv.  Zelenskyy presented Joe with a gold wristwatch for finishing highest over quota in fundraising.

Per Joe his resume includes growing up in a “Puerto Rican-like” neighborhood, attending black churches, lifeguarding, and even conducting an Amtrak train when commuting.

How that train didn’t end up like the one in Ohio is nothing short of a miracle.  Remember, Biden’s former boss, Barack Obama once said, “Don’t underestimate Joe’s ability to f… things up.”

The air around DC seems as toxic as it actually is in East Palestine.

But, until yesterday Pete didn’t smell it.

It all seems off the rails.

At least we are diverse now.

 

 

Ten Piece Nuggets

Posted on by thependulumswings staff

There is never a supply chain shortage of news that gives us pause.  Nuggets follow.

  1. In the “City That Care Forgot” the advice and the adult beverages were flowing yesterday.  As Lent begins, some Mardi Gras partygoers in the Big Easy shared ideas for what President Biden could sacrifice for the 40-day observance.  “His presidency,” one woman visiting from Virginia said.
  2. Can’t almost all of us agree that the optic of Biden following Zelenskyy around like a puppy yesterday contrasted with the black toxic cloud above East Palestine, OH will be used repeatedly by his Republican opposition in 2024?  You can hear Trump. Make America Great Again.
  3. That assumes of course that Biden will run.  He says he is and he says he’ll announce it soon.  Father Time is aggressive and progressive.  Most polls show nearly 3/4ths of all Americans think he should not run.  That’s a significant hurdle.
  4. Of course, if Trump gains the Republican nomination many of those three-fourths will recalibrate how they feel about old Joe.  We’ve said before, Trump running is Biden’s ticket to another four.
  5. Smart folks in the DNC should plan an exit strategy for Biden.  Smart folks in the RNC should plan a do not enter strategy for Trump.
  6. Why is Ukraine’s war our war and our money used to fight it?  If you say it’s for freedom, democracy, or it’s the right thing to do it’s not.  Ukraine is not a democracy.  And, it’s as crooked as it gets.
  7. Twitter types are typing “every day we are getting closer to WW3.”  Elon Musk tweeted back, “For sure.”  Maybe.  There is a long way to go to get there.  There was until yesterday.  The saber-rattling continues to escalate.  Putin suspended his country’s nuclear treaty with us in a speech yesterday.
  8. Back to the train derailment, Pete Buttigieg told a local tv station yesterday that he is “still planning to come to Ohio at some point, but he cannot say when.”  It’s only 18 days and counting.  Ohio is a major piece of the electoral college national puzzle.  Trump visits today.  Pete’s tenure as Secretary of Transportation is captured perfectly by this train wreck, unfortunately.  Hey, but at least we have diversity.
  9. There is no truth to the rumor that Ilhan Omar withdrew support for East Palestine after learning that it’s actually in America.
  10. In the last 10 months, the median price for a home in San Franciso plunged by nearly 33%.  Why?  Interest rates maybe.  Bad publicity probably.  When homelessness goes up, nearby home prices go down.  It’s an ugly fact and an ugly problem.

There’s a remodeling/hammer joke somewhere in nugget #10.  But, for Lent, we’ve given up senseless satirical attacks on the unsuspecting.

No, we haven’t.

Blame, Shame, Bad, and Sad.

Posted on by thependulumswings staff

Six months prior to the Pennsylvania Senate race, Democratic candidate John Fetterman suffered a stroke.  That was a bad day for him and his family.

Six months later he defeated the Republican candidate known in TV land as Dr. Oz.  That was a bad day for the good doctor and the Republican Party.

That Fetterman’s family, friends, and the DNC allowed Fetterman to run was a sad sight to see.  It was obvious to any objective observer that he was not yet at a point in his physical and mental rehabilitation to take on a brand new and very stressful job.

In January Kamala Harris awkwardly swore him into the office of the U.S. Senate.  She has trouble talking and he had trouble walking.  It too was a sad sight.

All of the above was rubber-stamped by some not-so-good doctor of his who proclaimed him to be in good health and capable of chopping the daily wood that comes with the turf.

Checking the box with that rubber stamping was bad.  In late January Fetterman checked himself into the hospital for further physical health tests, diagnosis, and further rehab.  Sad.

Sunday night, Senator John checked himself into Walter Reed National Military Medical Center to receive treatment for clinical depression.

He has experienced depression off and on throughout his life.  It only became severe in recent weeks.  Bad.

Did the severity progress as he tried to manage/cope with the enormity of the new job while battling the effects of the stroke?  One should place a fair-sized wager on that answer being “hell yes.”

While there is plenty of blame and what should be a good bit of shame going around on this unfortunate situation, a few things that aren’t being said should be.

Republicans took to all forms of media this week bashing the Dems for “allowing” this guy to run.  How could they?

We have breaking news for the elephant party.  Your candidate lost to this guy that you label, and correctly so, “unfit for office.”

Maybe you should get better candidates.  But instead, you reelect Mitch McConnell as the Senate leader as well as Ronna McDaniel as the Chairwoman of the RNC.

And, for the Pennsylvanians that voted for Fetterman, jeez.  Have you gotten what you hoped thus far from your guy?  Were you hoping for nothing?

Or, was it politics in its purest form?  That is, with the Senate majority hanging in the balance on every race, would you have pulled the left lever for even a corpse?

Does this remind you of the Biden election and his physical and mental well-being today?  What a divided time we live in.

Hopefully, over time, Mr. Fetterman can regain both his physical and mental health.

In the meantime, there is plenty of blame and shame to go around and around.

And, that is a combination of bad and sad.

 

 

 

A Whole Lotta Love

Posted on by thependulumswings staff

Love was in the air yesterday on St. Valentine’s Day.  With so much domestic political rancor and global strife it was quite pleasant to see all of the public displays of affection move to the fore even if it was only one day.  It felt like a Hallmark Movie collided with a Harlequin Romance Novel.

If you missed some, or want to relive them, we recap below.

Mitch McConnell told his wife  “I only have four eyes for you!”

President Biden at first misread the teleprompt card that he wrote for Dr. Jill uttering “IfebbohgeottenJillianstasahar.”  He rebounded nicely though throughout and closed strongly with “Happy Cinco de Mayo my love!”

Dr. Jill swooned and asked if next year Joe’s Valentine’s Day present to her could be inviting Fabio to sit in the balcony at the State of the Union address replacing the first second gentleman Doug Emhoff.

Octogenarian Paul Pelosi reaffirmed his love for Nancy.  He penned to her that “he would suit up in a hammerhead shark costume and swim across shark-infested waters just to be with her on the island of their dreams.”

Nancy thanked him via FaceTime from Dr. Terry Dubrow’s office on the set of Botched.

That island of dreams was not Epstein’s.  Though Bill Gates took to Facebook to openly yearn for one more dinner with Jeffery.

Dr. Fauci’s wife weighed in.  She publically boosted her affection for him shouting “after all these years you still make my heart stop.”

Rochelle P. Walensky, MD, the Director of the Centers for Disease Control, tweeted her hubby ” Will you be my o cardi I tis?”   His heart fluttered at the thought.

China continues to court the US sending, in their words, “waun valrentin barroon erry day.”

Karine Jean Claude Van Damn Pierre abruptly ended her presser and jetted off to France to propose to the Eiffel Tower.  Weird?  Yes.  Pronouns to follow.

Alec Baldwin tried to knock the Rust off of his stale relationship with his wife of ten years Hilaria, and took his best shot proclaiming “I’d marry you all over again!”

He’s denying that he’s been cast in the lead role of Married Behind Bars next season.  Guns and Roses is under contract to do the theme song.

Unfortunately, not everything was roses and candy yesterday.  Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg revealed that his relationship with a derailed train in Ohio turned toxic.  He felt the need to clear the air, so he blew it up.

Love and Spring are indeed in the air!