Author: thependulumswings staff

Happy Shwanza and New Year, Part 2

Posted on by thependulumswings staff

Yesterday we laid out the way the first half of 2023 will go.  Today we tackle the last half.  The glass is half full.

July

Prez Biden celebrates our nation’s independence on July 4th with a socially distanced, mask-wearing picnic on the WH lawn.  He reminds America that he was one of the original signers of the Declaration back in 1776.  Aaron Judge suffers a torn patella tendon rounding third on his 49th HR trot, ending the Yankees season and his chase for the single-season all-time record.  One hundred and seventy-five billion in, Zelenskyy gives Biden a stiff arm as China agrees to rebuild Ukraine for considerations TBD.

August

Bette Midler fills in for vacationing WH Press Secretary Joy Behar and actually sings her inept responses.  Texas Governor Greg Abbott files paperwork with the US Government announcing the state’s intent to secede from the country.  Marc Zuckerberg resigns from FB and joins Elon Musk at Twitter sending the lib community into mass hysteria.  Back in March, the National Weather Service predicted 21 named storms by 8/31.  To date, only two have been named.  Kamala says, “climate change is all about climate change and climate change is so bad that it is preventing storms from being formed in this climate.”

September

The San Diego Padres end the MLB season with 111 victories and secure home-field throughout the playoffs.  AOC intros a bill to change Labor Day’s name.  She says, “it’s misogynistic to people who identify as having given birth.”   Tom Brady makes his debut as starting quarterback for the Las Vegas Raiders.  LeBron James tells Cleveland, “I’m coming home for the third time” as the Lakers work out a trade with the Cavaliers for him.  23andMe outs Pete Buttigieg as Pee Wee Herman’s nephew.

October

Canadian PM Trudeau signs a bill banning all guns in Canada.  Stacy Abrams is appointed as Georgia State Election Commissioner.  She pledges to count every vote cast in the great state at least once.  The Houston Astros defeat The NY Mets four games to two and are back-to-back WS Champions.  The buzz in H Town is louder than the one Jose Altuve never wore.  All J6 prisoners are freed when video surfaces of a high-eye-browed Nancy Pelosi saying it was her greatest ruse ever.  Home Depot severs its association with Paul Pelosi the next day saying Nancy’s revelation was like getting hit over the head.

November

Canadian geese no longer migrate and overrun Toronto, Montreal, and Vancouver.  The FBI finally releases the last of the JFK files.  They are heavily redacted but have the names Carlos Marcello, Lucky Luciano, and Giuseppe Magliocco up, down, and all around the documents.  Mitch McConnell announces that he had corrective Lasik surgery.  Trading in shares of eyeglass maker companies was halted on Wall St for the remainder of the day.

December

Joe Biden formally announces for 2024.  He beamed, ” Yes, I am running for a second term as Vice President.  Much has been done, but is much is, um, is, well you know the deal man.”  Putin invades Poland with the three tanks he has left.  A ceasefire is proclaimed the next day.  Biden vows to rebuild all of Poland and sends Kamala over there to announce the aid.  She opens her remarks, “It’s so great to be here at the North Pole.”  Santa shakes his head but saddles up the reindeer and rolls the sleigh a day early to beat the next bomb cyclone.

 

We have a lot to look forward to.  See you next year!

 

 

Happy Shwanza and New Year

Posted on by thependulumswings staff

Hopefully, all of your recent days were merry and bright.  Or, as Nancy Pelosi wished all, “Happy Shwanza!”

Now we march on to 2023.  Surely it will return us to some normalcy?  We’re due since 2020, 2021, and 2022 were duds.

Our new crystal ball (up 22% in cost year over year) gives us a look into months one through six of 2023 today.

January

The weather moderates as the December “bomb cyclone” moves out and the climate(always) changes to seasonal lows and highs.  Adam Schiff gets tossed off of every committee he is on as the Elephants take the House.  Michigan becomes National College Football Champions as they beat Georgia 33-28.  Elon Musk offers the job of CEO of Twitter to one Donald J. Trump.  Two NBC reporters are hospitalized for high blood pressure.  Trump announces that the offer is really “fake news.”

February

Adam Schiff announces that he’s resigning from the House to run for the Senate seat vacated by Diane Feinstein just before she turns 90.  The Philadelphia Eagles make the Cincinnati Bengals the bridesmaids for the second year in a row, 35-34.  Joe Biden exits stage left after prompting from Dr. Jill and after another left-leaning speech while still carrying the microphone.  The Fed realizes that they’ve gone too far too fast and shocks Wall St with a quarter-point rate cut.  The Dow goes up 898 points that day.

March

The Biden administration mandates mask on airplanes again. Joe exempts the crew and all passengers on Air Force One.   A Southwest spokesperson comments, “it matters not to us as we don’t fly anyway.”  Dr. Fauci takes the fifth on all House questioning, rolls up his sleeve for a fifth booster, then goes home and drinks a fifth.  Mitch McConnell puts together a little Ukraine relief bill offering 50 billion dollars. Volodymyr Oleksandrovych Zelenskyy says, ” I am saddened at the paltry amount of aid offered at this critical time. Dismayed, disillusioned, and disappointed might better reflect my feelings.”  The transitory inflation has a birthday.

April

Elon Musk puts in a hostile offer to buy NBC.  The NCAA Final Four is held in Houston and the hometown # 1 seeded Cougars cut down the nets after beating the #3 seed, North Carolina.  Tulsi Gabbard is in Florida as Ron DeSantis’ announces that he is running for President in 2024 and the rumor mill runs wild.  Joe Biden wishes everyone a Happy Fourth of July before going on an Easter egg hunt on the South Lawn.  LIV Tour member Patrick Reed is disqualified at The Masters for using a ball filled with tiny superballs.

May

Karine Jean-Pierre, the first black lesbian female WH press secretary, steps down.  When asked by reporters why, she flips pages in her binder and says, “I’ll have to circle back with you on that.”   An early summer “bomb cyclone” sweeps across the US spiking temps 25-30 degrees above normal.  Pete Buttigieg proposes that we tear up the current Interstate System, labeling the entire 46,876 miles of the highways as racist.  He also denies being related in any way to Pee Wee Herman.  KJP’s replacement, Joy Behar, assures us that the border is secure. The Yankee’s Aaron Judge hits his major league-leading 33rd home run on May 30th putting him on pace to hit 82.

June

As the calendar flips the Yankees trail Baltimore for first in the NL East by 5.  Oregon legalizes everything.  The Dow rolls on and reaches a two-year high at 36,743.  Joe Biden reassures America that the southern border is secure and recognizes Mexican officials for doing their part, “I want to especially thank the Royal Canadian Mounties.”  Arizona finishes counting votes in the 2022 Gubernatorial race.  Paul Pelosi hammers out a deal to become the hardware spokesperson for Home Depot.

The very accurate predictions for July through a December to remember will be published tomorrow or Friday.

 

 

 

 

Wring Ring

Posted on by thependulumswings staff

You can’t ring in the new until you first wring out the old.

Today we provide some facts, falsehoods, truisms, and blatant lies that struck a chord with us in 2022.  We clear the deck for our 2023 predictions next week.

It seems like America is ready to dump 2022 on its ear as well.   A Fox News(always fair and balanced) poll had 52% of Americans calling 2022 a bad year, while 36% called it good.  Somehow 12% had no strong feelings or too few brain cells to decide.  At least these numbers were better than the two previous Covid-marred years.

It’s hard to pick THE story of the year, so we won’t try.  Several come to mind and frankly, none are for the better.

Inflation went from transitory to Biden calling for it to last until at least the end of 2023.  Russia can’t shoot straight and Ukraine can get enough of newly printed US money.

The Dow Jones went from 36,338 on 12/31/21 to 32,758 as of yesterday, or minus a smooth 10%.  The NASDAQ is way worse.

The housing market went from bonkers to stagnant as interest rates for conventional 30-year mortgages doubled from 3.05 to 6.32%.

The border is now a border in name only.  When you illegally cross borders you used to be an illegal alien.  Karine Jean-Pierre Claudia Von Damme Pepe Le Phew had some reassuring words for us yesterday.  “It would be wrong to think that the border is open.  It is not open.”

The Republicans gained control of the House 222 to 213 in November, or December when all of the votes were finally counted.  If you allowed everyone in America to vote that identifies as “nonwhite” only the 435 districts would have elected 347 Democrats to 88 Republican seats.

It’s all about power.  It’s why the Dems have the sieve wide open from Brownsville, TX to San Diego, CA.  It’s always all about power.

New York Mayor Eric Adams is starting to get it.  He said yesterday “our shelter system is full, and we are nearly out of money, staff, and space.  Truth be told if corrective measures are not taken soon, we may very well be forced to cut or curtail programs New Yorkers rely on.”

Government spending escalated regardless of what Biden’s drivel on Twitter espouses.  It’s interesting sickening to note that under Nancy Pelosi’s tenure as Speaker of the House over 40% of the federal debt accumulated since 1776.  And, 1776 is no typo nor is it her birth year as it might seem.

Like the WH occupants over time, she had many opportunities to hammer out a better US budget and chose otherwise.  Too soon?

It looks like a new way to look at Covid vaccinations is finally being heard.  Elon helped with that.  After all, it once was hard to be anti-vax even if there is no vax in reality.   Thankfully Biden’s prediction in early 2022 of a “winter of death” for the unvaccinated didn’t materialize.

Hunter Biden and the FBI might have some explaining to do soon.  Elon also helped with that.

Education costs continue to soar as well.  Why?  One survey found that since 2000 public school enrollment is up 7% through 2021 while administration personnel is up 97%.  If the entire Department of Education at the federal level closed would anyone miss it? That little red schoolhouse on the top of the hill brought us a long way.

Maybe Harvard could pay a scholar such as Elizabeth Warren 400k a year to teach a class on why school is so expensive.

Mass shootings continue to pull at our heartstrings.  Shrills on TV and journalists(there aren’t any anymore really) harumph the gun control lines after each one.  Meanwhile, fentanyl and street violence kill more of our youth that mass shootings by many many times to one.

All isn’t gloomy though.  Sports continues to be a great escape.

The World Cup for three weeks was riveting and the final left amateur watchers like this writer speechless.  Messi and Mbappe gave us a show-stopper for the ages.

The Houston Astros proved in 2017 that cheaters do win and from then on proved that they are the MLB franchise others are chasing crowned by a 2022 playoff and WS run that impressed all.

The Los Angeles Rams paralleled the stock market though.  They won the Super Bowl in February and are a svelte 4-10 this year.

We’d tell you about the greatness of the 2022 NBA and NHL seasons, but we have no idea.

This brings us to 2023.  We have no idea what is in store.  But, undeterred, we’ll take a stab at our predictions by month for it next week.

Meanwhile, enjoy the blizzard.  The one constant in life is that damn climate is always changing.

 

 

Childish Questions

Posted on by thependulumswings staff

Leave the place better than you found it.  Pay it forward.  Our children are our future.  Our children are our most precious commodities.

You’ve heard them all at one time or another.  They all make sense.  In fact, they make plenty of sense.

What doesn’t make sense is how we’re going about it, or not going about it depending on whom you ask.

The ultimate person to ask would be the leader of our country, 80 years young President Joesph Biden.  He’d probably quickly say we are doing a fine job raising today’s youth.   Then he’d ask someone which way he is supposed to walk to get off of the stage he just walked up on, but we digress.

Still, we have questions.

Are the free flow of humans and the drugs they traffic across our southern border good for our young impressionable ones?  Synthetic opioids, including fentanyl, were involved in more than two-thirds of the overdose deaths in the year ending in March 2022. Deaths involving synthetic opioids increased by a whopping 80% over the past two years.

What did keeping kids in remote learning for over a year accomplish during the pandemic?  Ask any educational expert and they will tell you that it set back reading comprehension and retarded social skill development.

What did the mandatory masks in the classroom do for them, especially the under-5-year-old group?  Nothing.

And, just six months ago why did Biden trumpet the approval by the FDA of the vax for five and under?  Four weeks in only 2.8% of the approximately 19 million children in this age group had the free jab forced into their bloodstream.  Then the weekly rate of vaccinations plummeted.  Kudos to 97.2% of parents for seeing through this potentially harmful nonsense.

Speaking of free, nothing is free.  Does kicking the national debt of 31.5 trillion down the road help the next generation?  Uncle Joe’s appropriate response should fall somewhere between “no” and “hell no.”  Of course, he might call money spent today ” an investment in tomorrow.”  Word salad.

Joe doesn’t spend here alone by the way.  Bush, Obama, and Trump kicked the can as well as Lionel Messi kicks a soccer ball.

And what about that new craze?  You know the one.  it’s the most heinous of all.  Call it gender mutilation.  Mr. President, does anyone in their right mind think that prepubescent children know what they want to be when they grow up?

Apparently, Biden does.  Or, at least someone told him to say so.  Straight from the White House lawn yesterday he read from his notes, “We need to challenge the hundreds of callous, cynical laws introduced in the states targeting transgender children, terrifying families and criminalizing doctors who get children the care they need. We have to protect these children.”

Care?  Protect?

He even told the world that to question this life-altering moment puts you in a grouping of hate groups.  He continued with, “racism, anti-Semitism, homophobia, transphobia, etc. is all “connected.”

Connected?

Joe might know better than all of us.  You’ve seen the myriad of pictures and videos where he seems physically too closely “connected.”  Handsy, some say.  Even his daughter agrees per her diary.

The worst crime of all may be robbing a child of their innocence and childhood.

Perhaps we’ve become disconnected from that reality.

 

 

 

 

In This Corner…..

Posted on by thependulumswings staff

The fight for control of the narrative is on.  And it’s a heavyweight bout.

Standing in one corner is Elon Musk.  His diminutive size should not be dismissed as he packs a hell of a right cross.  Or, as the left suddenly realizes it’s a hell of a cross from the right.

Maybe he’s not right, or from the right all of the time, but he is right in the middle of this Twitterverse turnabout and bobbing and weaving like a 20-year-old flyweight.

Standing in the other corner is everyone who had a free run when free speech was on the run at Twitter.  When you can throw unabated haymakers you can pretty much control the narrative.

Censoring, shadow banning, or limiting the exposure of anyone who agreed with Trump, was related to Trump, wanted to expose the Hunter Biden laptop contents, or opposed the great Dr. Fauci and his vax needles were the plans from the corner.  It’s a walkover when your opponent can’t get into the ring.

But, the counter-punching has started.  Already, the weakest from the left have left the ring.  Some of the dumbest, aka Alyssa Milano, stayed and need a standing eight count to even continue.

Many of these same folks were “moving to Canada if Trump wins.”  They didn’t of course.  If they had they would have been able to participate in the draconian approach of PM Trudeau to freedom of expression (arresting protesting truckers) and combating the pandemic (shutdowns, masks, no work, and vax and vax and boost and boost).

“My pronouns are Prosecute/Fauci,” Musk wrote on his Twitter account on Sunday.  That was a quick one-two combo at Fauci’s follies and the pronoun crowd.

On Monday the WH condemned Musk after he ridiculed President Joe Biden’s close coronavirus advisor and National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases director Dr. Anthony Fauci on social media.

Press secretary Karine Jean-Pierre criticized Musk’s social media remarks as “dangerous” yesterday.

“Truth resonates,” Musk added.

“These attacks, these personal attacks that we have been seeing are dangerous on Dr. Fauci and other public health officials as well, they are disgusting and they are divorced of reality,” she said during the daily briefing.

Dangerous?  Disgusting?  Really?  Tell us how.  Tell us more.

Wait, we know.  It’s dangerous and disgusting because it goes against the worn-out, beat-up, torn-down narrative.  You know it.  “Get boosted.”  “Winter of death.”  “Wear two masks.”  “Just one vax a year.”  “Just two.”  “It’s a pandemic of the unvaccinated.”

It’s borderline the dreaded “misinformation.”

When will anyone or everyone realize that we are all unvaxxed?  That’s right, follow the science.  It’s the one telling you that the vax’s efficacy lasts about two months in your body.

When will the WH, Fauci, and their cronies realize that America stopped getting jabbed about six months ago?  They said the fight is over.  They threw in the towel and the worthless masks as well.

She reminded reporters that Fauci had served under seven presidents and that Americans were “fortunate” to benefit from the “life and exceptional talent.”  “That’s what should be discussed right now, that’s what we should be thankful to him about,” she said.

Ah, yes.  Let’s give thanks for a long public service career.  Joe Biden has had a similar one.   Longevity may have nothing to do with excellence and vice versa.

Some pugilists have gotten high on the lifestyle and the money.  They’ve been hit once too many times about the cranium.  They retired too late.

Some public servants have stayed in the ring too long as well.

Meanwhile, Musk is going for the TKO.

And, it might be only round one for him.

Let’s get ready to rumble.

 

 

 

 

Time (Magazine) Passages

Posted on by thependulumswings staff

The news broke yesterday that Time Magazine named Volodymyr Zolensky (three y’s, three o’s, one v, and one z) as its Person of the Year 2022.

We find this news amazing on two fronts.  One, why was he even in consideration?  Two, did you know that Time Magazine still exists?

He was in consideration for the reason we asked question number two.  The magazine has to break through the voluminous daily instantaneous information streams to somehow remain relevant.

It attempts just that by being edgy/controversial every year around this time.  The nominees were Liz Cheney, Elon Musk, and the winner Volo Zole (we decided to shorten the short man’s name to save virtual trees).

Is naming Volo Zole the Person of the Year a bit of misinformation(it is hard to describe how much disdain we have for that word)?

BBR contacted Karine Jean-Pierre Claude Van Damme de Toulouse-Lautrec, the self-described first black female lesbian White House Press Secretary for comment.  We’ve gotten no call back at press time from Madame Presser.

However, she did take the time yesterday to admonish the House of Representatives and particularly the Republicans who rescinded the vaccine mandate for our nation’s military.  She almost made eye contact when she said, “Republicans in Congress have decided that they’d rather fight against the health and wellbeing of our troops than protecting them.”

Maybe, only runner-up (or third-place finisher) Elon Musk really knows if that, too, is misinformation.

The case for Volo Zole is strong in some respects though.  How he has fleeced America out of 68 billion with a proposal for 38 more billion on the table is, well, even more sleight of hand than FTX Founder Sam Bankman-Fried pulled off in a crypto-cryptic kind of way.

While the Republicans were ruining the military men and women, other Congressional leaders were busy doing the people’s business yesterday.  This Congress is no lame duck.

House Financial Services Committee Chair Maxine(rhymes with vaccine) Waters informed a group of Democrats that she doesn’t plan to subpoena former Sam Bankman-Fried while judiciously investigating the crypto company’s collapse.  She’s hoping he’ll walk straight in and help.  Makes sense and cents as good old Sam is thought to have helped the DNC to the tune of upwards of $100 million in DNC campaign contributions in the last election cycle.

And, Dems on the House Foreign Affairs Committee voted against auditing the money we have sent to Ukraine.  They prefer blank checks as opposed to checks and balances.  And, aren’t paper checks as relevant as magazines these days?

Volo Zole has also managed to stay alive for about a year now in this intense war-no small fete even if you’re but five foot seven inches.  How?  He even poses for pictures with US congressional leaders who visit the war-torn region.  Why?  He’s also shut down dissidents(that thing that Elon calls freedom of speech) to the war in his country.  Why?

Notice that we haven’t mentioned Liz Cheney again in this busy news cycle?  Why?

She’s old news to us just like the Biden Administration thinks the Hunter Laptop info is an old news story to them.

Do you see how this misinformation thing works yet?

You’d better.  You’re running out of time much like Time Magazine.

 

Ten(12) Piece Nuggets-College Football

Posted on by thependulumswings staff

It’s time to go football bowling.  We roll a perfect game with ten twelve strikes below.

  1.  It says here that the playoff committee got it exactly right and in the right order.  If Tennessee’s Hooker was healthy maybe they flip with Bama at five, but the point is moot for two reasons.  One, he isn’t.  Two, teams five and six aren’t in the top four regardless.
  2. Nick Saban’s campaign to enter the top four as the weekend’s bowling pins were falling his way was 1) his job, and 2) borderline groveling.  Comparing losses and near misses to another team’s “weaker wins” isn’t too becoming.  When Nick speaks, the media fawns.
  3. Another thing that isn’t becoming is Nick’s hair.  It’s dyed a near crimson tide red and fewer and fewer sit daily on his head.  Maybe old St Nick can gift Nick some plugs for his head similar in size to the ones he was making for his team.
  4. Clemson’s Dabo Swinney runs rapidly down the hill when his team enters the home field. It might be symbolic of the team’s direction. They lost two this year and could have easily lost two more. Former five-star Clemson quarterback DJ Uiagalelei entered the transfer portal yesterday after an up-and-down two seasons as the starter.  Promising freshman Cade Klubnik takes over.
  5. Clemson squares off in the Orange Bowl against Tennessee which is missing its aforementioned former starter as well.  It’s one orange-clad team vs another orange-clad team in the aptly named Orange Bowl.
  6. USC went from a top-four playoff-bound team to a team bound for the day after New Year’s Cotton Bowl against upstart Tulane in a mere 48 hours. The one PM Monday kickoff in Arlington Texas, where it’s usually around 31 degrees and sleeting that time of the year is sure to attract dozens of USC So Cal-based fans.  Lincoln Riley will need to care about defense for USC to ascend higher.
  7. Meanwhile, it is refreshing to hear Willie Fritz, HC of Tulane, say out loud that he is staying put.  Tulane hasn’t been relevant in decades and if he bolted for greener money pastures the Green Wave could return to irrelevancy for decades to come.
  8. Sometimes the grass isn’t always greener anyway.  Scott Frost found that out after leaving a similar upstart in UCF for Nebraska.  Billy Napier was the hot name a year ago from ULL.  He hasn’t gained too many fans after a year in Gainsville.
  9. It’s amusing to hear the “experts” tell us that a certain conference is down this year or that year.  This always happens when traditionally strong teams lose more games than the “experts” thought they would.  For example, the Big 12 is down a bit this year.  It is?  TCU is in the final four dance.  Oklahoma and Texas failed to live up to what the “experts” thought they would do.  Perception and perspective.
  10. The PAC 12 failed to secure a playoff berth.  Again.  Its been six long years since 2016 when the left coast last participated.  Washington lost in the semis that year to Bama 24-7.
  11. It’s Army v. Navy this Saturday.  It doesn’t get better than that.
  12. The futures lines are out.  Georgia is -185, Michigan +220, THE Ohio St +310, and TCU +1300 to win it all.  The value looks to be in Michigan and TCU as one of them will get to the final game.

It’ll be a December to remember.  Don’t believe us?  Ask Lexus.

And with the transitory inflation, if you need a loan to purchase one we’re betting Capital One will advertise a time or two that they’re here to help.

What’s in your wallet?

Hopefully, it’s a ticket on Michigan to win it all.

 

What’s in a Word?

Posted on by thependulumswings staff

Way back when way down yonder in New Orleans a weekly football rag was devoured by rabid NFL/Saints fans.  It was called Gridweek.

Its tagline was “Gridweek tells it like it is.”  And for a fledgling football franchise that was run as poorly off of the field as it ran on the field “like it is” was straight pain with no Novocaine.

Gridweek delivered the news with no spoon full of sugar to make the medicine go down, the medicine go down.  Of course, that was when we didn’t sugarcoat matters at hand.

And, it was before we knew how bad sugar was for you.  So, many healthy folks switched to salads and the like.  And, now we get our info/news/talking points delivered to our internet-connected devices as a word salad.

George Carlin saw this coming long ago.  He detailed the obvious in a humorous way better than anyone.  And, this two-minute must-see video takes us through wars that caused “shellshock” to “post-traumatic stress disorder” with steps along the way.

He said Americans don’t like reality and have trouble handling the truth.  Isn’t that the truth?

Sweeping the out-of-control national debt under the rug yearly as it grows nearly geometrically is but one example.

How about when abortion was an abortion?  Then it became pro-choice.  A few years passed and it was women’s rights, then women’s wellness, then women’s healthcare, and today it’s women’s reproductive rights.

It’s so much softer as George said.  And, to boot, you can have Planned Parenthood helping you along the way.  None of the above sounds like you end up being a parent, but we digress.

A fib, a falsehood, and a “big fat lie” became “a little fib” or ” a little white lie.”  Is a “white lie” racist?   We digress again.  Now it’s “misinformation.”  “Misinformation” has morphed into actually anything that anyone says that you disagree with.

This misinformation caused such harm ten years back that we created “safe spaces.”  Safe spaces are more word salad. I don’t like what you’re saying, go away.

Have you ever seen a safe space?  Been to one?  Created one?  Apparently, they are quite mobile, too.

You don’t die anymore either.  You “pass away.”  Father Time remains undefeated though.  Everyone (except maybe one) and everything that has walked on terra firma has died or will die.

Sins were once venial and mortal.  Of course, that was when the Catholics thought God could park the people he was undecided about in purgatory.  That’s the one and the only thing that the Vatican has done right in the last 25 years.  It dumped purgatory.   Now it’s either the stairway to heaven or the steps down to hell.

Everyone sitting in limbo, get out!  That bum rush for the door must have looked like our southern border does today.

Speaking of “bums” or “hobos,” well you can’t speak of them anymore. Red Skelton would be out of a job.  They’re homeless now, or underserved, or have food insecurities.

If you had food insecurity you used to be able to get “food stamps.”  No more.  The Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (SNAP) is the largest federal nutrition assistance program going.  Notice it’s nutrition now, not food.   You can get fed in a “SNAP.”

You can put lipstick on a pig too, but it’s still a pig.

You can pour so much window dressing on a word salad that it makes the lettuce float.

But, it’s still a word salad world and we’re all just living in it.

 

Questions as Answers

Posted on by thependulumswings staff

You’ve got questions.  You’re not supposed to answer a question with a question.  We did anyway.

Q.  Does it seem like Elon Musk is three steps ahead of everyone else?

A.  Does it seem like Elon Musk is four steps ahead of everyone else?

Q.  Is this the loudest fight for free speech in your lifetime?

A.  Do you need to reread the answer to question no. 1 above?

Q.  Haven’t the conspiracy theorists been leery of having a chip implanted in their bodies so that others can control how we think and who we are?

A.  Is (as Musk says it is) Neuralink, launched in 2016 with the goal of developing a chip that would allow the brain to control complex electronic devices and eventually allow people with paralysis to regain motor function, ready to begin testing in humans?

Q.  Why did Elon call out Tim Cook publicly on Twitter for pulling 17 million in advertising?

A.  Do you, once again, need to reread the answer to question no. 1 above?

Q.  Does Apple have, as Ricky Riccardo would say to Lucy, some esplaining to do for aiding China by turning off the airdrop feature in this lockdown?

A.  Does Apple’s Cook deliver the iPhone 14 on time and in the quantity desired because of the terrible mess over there, or is his goose cooked?

Q. Does telling people that you are glad that you have tested positive but have mild symptoms because you are vaxxed and boosted make you feel better about your decision?

A.  Does telling people you’re glad you wore a condom even though your significant other is pregnant make you feel better?

Q.  Did Joe Biden walk off of the stage yesterday with the microphone in hand still in the ready-to-talk position?

A.  Did someone forget to type “put down microphone after speech” on his note cards?

Q.  Did Canadian PM Trudeau say “Everyone in China should be allowed to protest?  We will continue to ensure that China knows we stand for human rights?”

A.  Didn’t Trudeau send out his police to arrest truckers protesting in Canada last year?

Q.  Is Mitch McConnell really all in on giving more money to Ukraine?

A.  Is there even a war being fought in Ukraine, or is this the biggest money laundering scheme since, well, ever?  How much money are all of the EU nations combined giving?

Q.  Is Die Hard a Christmas movie?

A.  Why are we having this debate anyway?

You want answers?  We have questions.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ten Piece Nuggets

Posted on by thependulumswings staff

Did you stress when you had to pay more for less at the grocery store?  That said, should you have eaten less this past holiday weekend?  If that, more or less, is correct we have help on the way below.  It’s ten complimentary fat-free nuggets.

  1. The U.S. Air Force and Northrop Grumman plan to unveil the latest stealth aircraft called the B-21 Raider at the company’s facility in Palmdale, California, this Friday.  The estimated cost to develop, purchase and operate 100 aircraft is estimated at $203 billion, or about $2 billion per plane.  That’s a lot for something that you can’t even see.
  2. Maybe they could nickname the B-21 Raider after the latest COVID variant which is also stealth.   You can’t see it.  With no symptoms, you don’t know it hit you either.   You test negative.  And, the government is spending billions fighting it.
  3. CNN dusted off Dr. Anthony Fauci this past weekend for some air time.  Fauci, amongst other comments, highly recommended that we all test for covid before going to our family gatherings and went on to say that we are still right in the middle of this pandemic.  He must not be listening to the ultimate voice on this health crisis- Joe Biden.   Biden declared the pandemic over two months ago.
  4. We’re disappointed that CNN didn’t ask if the good doctor thought that the World Cup matches, unlike the 2020 mostly peaceful protests, might be a super spreader event.
  5. China’s showing the matches but blurring the stands to prevent its citizens from seeing that 100k fans from all over the world in four venues a day are yelling, hugging, and shouting in close contact all the while maskless.  No deception there.  As Lebron taught us we should be sensitive to other cultures that we know little about.
  6. Dr. Fauci(81), Speaker Nancy(82), and Prez Joe(80) are a combined 243 years old.  America is 246 years old.  That’s some wealth of experience leading this country.
  7. Turning to crime in Gotham City, there is a NYC bill being seriously considered by city lawmakers that would strip landlords of the ability to perform criminal background checks on prospective tenants.  The legislation is known as the “Fair Chance Housing Act.”  Mayor Eric Adams supports the bill saying no one should be denied housing because they were once engaged in the criminal justice system.  Even Batman is moving to Florida.
  8. Did you know that there is a position in your govt called the deputy assistant secretary of the Office of Spent Fuel and Waste Disposition in the U.S. Department of Energy?  Did you know that MIT grad and “openly genderfluid” Sam Brinton holds down the post?  Did you know that 34-year-old Sam was charged with a felony last month for allegedly stealing a woman’s luggage?  At least he/she has good taste. The navy blue Vera Bradley roller bag is valued at $2400.
  9. If you wondered, gender fluidity describes the experience of changing gender identity over time. They can fluctuate between any gender at any time, such as feeling more feminine or masculine, bi-gender or agender, maverique or neutrois, and demi-gender or polygender.  Full disclosure- we took this definition directly from Wikipedia, so the information like the gender of a gender-fluid person may change at any time.
  10.  And from Cali, the WSJ  noted that under Gavin Newsom, the state saw a roughly 15 percent increase in the homeless population since 2019, despite having the most significant funding increase to fight the problem.  Throwing money to homeless people or throwing money at the homeless population isn’t the answer.  Identify and attack the root problems.