Author: thependulumswings staff

Toothless Crime Enforcement

Posted on by thependulumswings staff

For over forty years the one constant in fighting crime on a national level is McGruff the Crime Dog.  He debuted in 1980 with a series of public service announcements educating citizens on personal security measures, such as locking doors and putting lights on timers, in order to reduce crime.

McGruff did and continues to serve loyally.  But, by 1994, America felt the need to take yet another bite out of crime.

Democrat President Bill Clinton signed HR 3355-Violent Crime Control and Law Enforcement Act of 1994 into law.  The bill was sponsored by Democrat Representative Jack Brooks out of Texas and Democrat, now Socialist, Bernie Sanders even voted yes along the way to the president’s desk.

The bill is better known as the “three strikes and you’re out” law.   It provided funding for tens of thousands of community police officers and drug courts, banned certain assault weapons, and mandated life sentences for criminals convicted of a violent felony after two or more prior convictions, including drug crimes.

Over time, studies and sentiment have deemed certain aspects of the stringent guidelines with the law too harsh.  Judges, states, and DA’s have eased up on its presumed punitive measures.

The slippery slope to lower bails, lighter sentences, plea bargains, and outright indifference to certain crimes has accelerated in the last decade.  NY and its mayor Bill DeBlasio told cops to stand down time and again.  It stopped its “stop and frisk” policy.

Social injustices and Soros’ money created movements in the streets.  Mostly peaceful protests weren’t mostly peaceful.  Cities, like Portland, worked by day and burned by night.

And, then George Floyd was killed.  And, the US was incensed and nearly incinerated.

Defund the police became the cry heard around the world and measures in some of the US blue states did just that-defund the blue.

So, now where do we stand?

Well, if you’re Cali Governor Gavin Newsom you stood in the trash of the opened boxes of stolen property on the rails of the Union Pacific railroad late last week.  There you took to the microphone (for the photo op) and blamed these railroad robberies on gangs.  Then you apologized in the next sentence, called your words pejorative, and said that you should have called them “organized groups of people.”  That’ll show them.

If you’re the newly elected NY DA you go down the rabbit hole of outlining in a penned memo that most crimes in his jurisdiction wouldn’t be prosecuted and if they were, criminals wouldn’t face jail time except for offenses committed with a gun.

Over the last two weeks, an LA officer was shot and killed, two cops in NY were shot, leaving one dead and one severely injured, a Houston officer was gunned down, and a border patrol agent in Texas was murdered.

And countless others, out on light bond money or none at all, have committed more serious crimes than their last offense.

So, now where do we stand?

McGruff has proven quite loyal, but right now his bark is far worse than his bite.  Our law enforcement has no teeth and the outlaws sense it.

If the three-strikes bill long ago was too far one way, is today’s mess too far the other?

The pendulum always swings.  Doesn’t it?   One can hope.

Kudzu

Posted on by thependulumswings staff

How can you win when you lose?

Stacey Abrams was a big win for the Democratic Party on a national level when she lost the 2018 Georgia Gubernatorial Race. Maybe few saw it then, but looking back you can see it clearly now.

“Voter suppression,” she screamed.  “Vote counting irregularity,” the Dems and their national lawyers who flew in yelled.  Recount the votes.  Recount them again.

Georgia is a have or have not state.  The title to its fertile land was owned by slave-owning, white farmers, and is perceived the same to this day.  The same with its politics.  It’s always about power.

But, in that rich soil seeds of doubt were cast about how we cast and count votes.  And the valuable crops of social injustice and voter suppression were cultivated all over again and spread like nasty kudzu.

“Hmmm?” the DNC pondered.  “How can we fertilize and water this and get it to harvest nationwide by November 2020?”

And, like the much-needed rain to nourish, fell a plague from the sky.  Covid-19 it was called, and its case count was growing like the aforementioned nasty weed.

How can we ask people to stand in line and show a silly voter identification when they could die doing so?  “We can’t,” said many blue states, using a version of the infamous blue flu to approve mail-in ballots, dropbox ballots, absentee ballots, and most of all harvested ballots.

Eighty-one million ballots in all were cast for the next President of the United States-Joseph Robinette Biden Jr.  That’s the highest vote count in American Presidential voting history for one candidate.

Donald Trump nearly lost his mind over losing to a man that may have lost his mind, claiming voter fraud from sea to sea.  “Turn those machines back on,” he squealed.

And, the Democrats roared.  “How dare you contest the fairest election that we’ve ever had?”

Team Trump had no more valid claims of illegal activity than the DNC did in Georgia, but never let facts get in the way of a good narrative.

And, just 14 months later the most voted for President in our history is polling at historic lows.  In fact, a poll yesterday of American adults aged 18-64 had 70% of its respondents checking the box “no, I do not want Biden to run for reelection in 2024.”  Go figure.

That poll was released just one day after Biden held a nearly two-hour press conference, his first in nearly 80 days.

During the presser, Biden pressed on about voting fraud.  When asked if he was concerned about the upcoming 2022 midterms he offered,  “I’m not going to say it’s going to be legit,” Mr. Biden said. “The increase and the prospect of being illegitimate is in direct proportion to us not being able to get these reforms passed.”

Those reforms were two bills, both defeated in the Senate disguised as voting rights bills but were really fed overreach to take election control from the states.

Mr. 81 Million vote-getter is now worried about fair elections with the same laws in place that got him elected.  Go figure.

Jen Psaki, clean up on aisle two.

The kudzu spreads.

 

 

 

 

 

Ten Piece Nuggets-Random

Posted on by thependulumswings staff

There’s some good news and bad news in our world as we know it on 1/19/22.    And today you’ll need to take the good with the bad.  And in a marked departure from our inflationary times, you’ll get 12 for the price of 10.   Yum.

  1.  Good news-  Pfizer said its Covid-19 pill approved by the FDA, Paxlovid, was effective against the Omicron virus in three early but promising tests.
  2.  Bad news-  The treatment will not be available till June when the next variant, if there is one, will be prevalent and Omicron will be long gone.
  3.  Good news-   At least the pill will be free.  Your US Government has already cornered the market, as it purchased 20 million courses of treatment.
  4.  Bad news-  The pill will be free to you, but not our government.  That really means that the pill won’t be free to you any more than all of these other handouts that aren’t free.
  5.  Good news-  Bill de Blasio announced that he would put every fiber of his being into fighting inequality in the state of New York, but would not be running for governor.
  6.  Bad news-  Real estate prices in Florida just took a 5% haircut.
  7.  Good news-  CNN is going to create a “team dedicated to covering misinformation.”  Will episode one cover the Chris Cuomo coverup?
  8.  Bad news-  No new hiring or flights are needed to cover it and bolster our economy as all of the misinformation is already in-house.
  9.  Good news-  In 2021 the stock market fared quite well in spite of supply chain, inflation, Afghanistan, Covid-19, and southern border problems.
  10.  Bad news-  It’s 2022, and the stock market taketh what the stock market giveth.
  11.  Good news-  President Biden will hold a rare press conference today surely giving us hope for tomorrow, one day short of the first anniversary of him taking office.
  12.  Bad news-   Three years to go.  Does he know?

We hope you enjoyed the nuggets-  short and sweet.

 

 

Free and Freedom Aren’t Cheap

Posted on by thependulumswings staff

There’s free and then there’s freedom.

And, free is getting more plentiful while freedom is getting harder to find.

But, aren’t the best things in life free? That depends on where you look.

It costs nothing to catch Omicron, but that’s not the best thing in life.  But, at least our government is doing all it can to help prevent it and all of that is free.

There are free vaccines and free boosters and more free vaccines and more free boosters.  Stand in line.

If you think you might be coming down with a “rare” breakthrough case, there’s free testing too.  All that you have to do is wait in line for one assuming you can find somewhere that has any.

The US government has ordered half a billion on top of another half of a billion tests making its availability for immediate purchase nil and reminding you of your local grocer’s empty shelves.

We are told that the supply chain issue should resolve itself in a week, and then just another 7-12 days beyond that to ship right to your door!  Think Feb 8th or so and all will be well.  And, likely you’ll be well by then, too.

But wait, there’s more!

The government has ordered an untold number of N95 masks and close replicas and will be distributing those soon and free as well.

All of this is an extra good safety net in case your Affordable Care Act, aka ObamaCare didn’t keep you well during these troubled times.   Remember Bernie Sanders has told us repeatedly that healthcare is a basic human right.  Don’t try claiming Ivermectin on your insurance though.

He also has told us that college tuition should be free.  The avowed Socialist and almost every one of his colleagues from the left is a big supporter of Build Back Better which provides free preschool, darn near free child care, and child tax cuts.

Have a child and you can pay less tax for you and yours to live here.  Makes sense to you?

What about bread? Shouldn’t that be free, too?  If you were willing to stand in line for it, would this government attempt to provide it for you?

If only the wealthy would just pay their fair share, whatever that means.

Freedom, on the other hand, is getting harder to find.

Well, it isn’t if you’re an illegal alien (sorry, migrant) that walks in and gets shipped to, say NY.  Free healthcare and voting rights await your jet’s arrival.

If you fly to Pennsylvania you can even get a free puddle jumper to Delaware as the Penn Governor says that Joe Biden’s home state ought to have some new neighbors as well.

But, don’t write or say the wrong thing on any social media platform.  You’ll be suspended for some time, or if you’re a serial misinformer like Donald Trump you’ll be banned for life.  Freedom of speech isn’t free.

Let’s not get started on attempts to control guns.

You can still have a “mostly peaceful” protest at least.  It’s even a protected freedom to burn the American Flag.  Although, we don’t think the damage done to property gets fixed for free.

Where did all of those protests go by the way?  Is everything that we were mad about getting fixed?  Wait till Summer 2022 and/or Summer 2024 and we’ll see.  We digress.

And, don’t go try to earn a living, or go out to eat unless you follow the mask, social distance, vax, and testing protocol mandates we need to flatten the two-year-old two-week curve.

Freedom is out of style.  Free is trending.

Both are going to cost a lot more to keep this the land of the free and the home of the brave.

 

 

 

Ten Piece Nuggets-Random

Posted on by thependulumswings staff

If you’re already done with the Keto diet New Year’s resolution, or if even if you never committed to it, a good serving of protein never goes out of style.  Our first 10 Piece Nuggets of 2022 are right below and right for you.  We start with the NFL, visit where the world turns, and end with the end of the college football season.

  1. Today in NFL circles is known as Black Monday, the day coaches are terminated.  GM’s are exempt either. But the clock has accelerated.  Urban Meyer and Jon Gruden beat their brethren to the punch.  One got a little handsy in his bar, the other got a little wordy in his emails.
  2. Urban’s former Jacksonville team shocked, and we mean shocked,  the NFL “experts.”  And, with that, the Indianapolis Colts got bounced right out of the playoffs.  The Colts stunk up the joint yesterday, losing 26-11 in a game that was 26-3 till late in the fourth.  WWFICJMHS?  What would former Indy Coach Jim Mora have said?  Playoffs?   It never gets old.
  3. Meanwhile, well west of there, Indy’s loss was The Las Vegas Raiders gain.  They beat the LA Chargers as the OT clock struck zero and backdoored their way into said playoffs. Interim head coach Rich Bisaccia is making the go-forward decision for Raiders owner Mark Davis harder by the week.  The game got very squirrelly at the end as a tie could have put both teams in.  Is that a squirrel on Mark Davis’ head?  We digress.
  4.  The Denver Broncos ousted Vic Fangio on Sunday.  Will the Minnesota Vikings push Mike Zimmer out into the northwest winter today? It’s very likely.   And, expect one or two surprises as always today or tomorrow.
  5. Who?  Bears Coach Matt Nagy would not be a surprise.  Pete Carroll would be a mild surprise.  How about Matt Rhule of Carolina?  He sacrificed Joe Brady, his OC, six weeks ago, but he’s done little to turn the Panthers around. Nothing that the Texans would do would surprise anyone.  The rudderless franchise ousted Bill O’Brien a year ago.  Is first-year coach David Culley safe?   Probably.  He’s cheap labor and the Texans aren’t going anywhere next year even if they had Nick Saban at the helm.
  6.  What were the chances that the San Franciso 49ers would make the playoffs after punting to the Rams while trailing by seven with 1:57 remaining in the game?  To win they needed to force a three and out, prevent the Rams from scoring in regulation, score a TD with no timeouts left, and win in OT.  Next Gen Stats, the authority on such matters, pinned the chance at 0.4 percent.  To state the stat differently, the chances were 1 in 250.  Bingo!  And, just like that the playoff air in New Orleans went poof!
  7. Changing gears, Dr. Scott Gottlieb, a board member for Pfizer, agreed with Moderna CEO Stéphane Bancel’s prediction that people will likely need a fourth shot of vaccine after the initial two doses and a booster. Gottlieb told Barron’s that Covid-19 vaccines will likely become an annual shot people get every year going forward in the fall.  Money, money, money, goes the Abba song.
  8.  Why as more and more double vaxxed and boosted folks test positive do government officials get angrier at the unvaxxed, even threatening them with economic harm?  Also, why are asymptomatic peeps standing or driving in long lines in the cold to get tested?
  9. Will we have a mandate that holds up?  We’re guessing that Supreme Court Associate Justice Sonia Sotomayor thinks so.  Friday she claimed that over 100,000 children were “in serious condition” because of Covid -19.  The CDC has a slightly lower count at 4,132.
  10.  And, it seems like Alec Baldwin is out there just like Orenthal James Simpson once was looking for the real killer.  Baldwin is publically blaming right-wing zealots(reasons unclear)  and “cooperating” with the investigation of the Rust filming death by refusing to turn over his cell phone.  Both are accomplished actors, for sure.
  11.  And, a little lagniappe as we call it in the biz, Georgia is favored by 3 in Indy this evening over Alabama for the FBS Championship.  How can you bet against Nick Saban?  Vegas is telling you something.  Are you listening?  Georgia 30, Bama 24.

Bundle up.

I Pray For You

Posted on by thependulumswings staff

In order to fully understand the story, you need to know the characters.

Brian Kevin Porter, Jr. is a 21-year-old third-year NBA player for the Houston Rockets.  He sunk a buzzer-beating game-winning three Wednesday evening at the Washington Wizards (as they are known now).

Kevin Porter (born April 17, 1950) is a former NBA player.

He played ten seasons with four different teams (the first was the Washington Bullets as they were known then) and led the league in assists in four of those seasons.

Brian Kevin Porter Sr., who is Kevin Porter, Jr’s father, pleaded guilty in 1993 for the killing of a 14-year-old girl, according to a case docket with the King County Superior Court and USA Today. Porter Sr. was shot and killed in Seattle in 2004 when Jr. was but four years old.

Glenn Consor is a former NBA player, turned scout, who finally turned to broadcasting.  Consor has more than 22 years of experience in the broadcast industry, including 20 years with the Washington Wizards (formerly the Bullets) organization in radio and television roles.

Did you get all of that?

So, as the buzzer-beater swished through the twine Wednesday night Consor assumed, incorrectly, that it was a chip off of the old block.

“You’ve got to give credit. Kevin Porter Jr., like his dad, pulled that trigger right at the right time,” Wizards broadcaster Consor said after Porter buried the jumper to give the Rockets a 114-111 victory.

It was a bad choice of words given who Sr. was, but Consor didn’t know what he didn’t know.  Consor assumed, and you know what they say about assuming.  The former NBA Porter is no relation to the current NBA Porter whatsoever.

Enter one more character.  Lebron James.  He’s The King.

“Oh, he thought this was cool huh!!?? Nah we ain’t going for this!” James tweeted. “Sorry but this ain’t going to fly! How insensitive can you be to say something like this? Beat it, man! I pray for you but there’s no place in our beautiful game for you!”

Cancel culture is an ugly game.

By yesterday morning Consor was told of the error of his ways.

Consor, on Twitter, said Thursday he mistakenly thought Porter was the son of the former NBA player who played several seasons in Washington in the 1970s and early 80s.
“I have reached out to Kevin to personally apologize and hope to be able to talk to him soon,” Consor continued.
That should do it, shouldn’t it?
But the King isn’t backing down.  He doubled down after his shootaround (probably a bad choice of a word as well, but we digress) yesterday.  “What he said — no matter if he thought that was his dad or not — was so insensitive, and the words he used — we know the words that he used, I don’t want even want to repeat it — is not even something that should ever be said.”
Come on, doesn’t everyone deserve a second chance Lebron? Or a third?  Or a fourth?
For example, King Lebron lectured Darryl Morey on how insensitive he and by extension, we are towards China.  Calling that foolish is being nice.
He further lectured us on the social injustice of the shooting of Kenosha’s knife-wielding felon Jacob Blake, and the crocodile tears of fully exonerated Kyle Rittenhouse.  Wrong and wrong again.
Thankfully, Lebron is “praying” for Consor he told all.  Sounds good.
Really?  No, he isn’t.  It’s just more grandstand theatre.
Words mean something.  And, sometimes fewer is better.  Consor learned that the hard way two nights ago.
Lebron has a ways to go.

SoFi or So Long?

Posted on by thependulumswings staff

Way back in 1977, a fictitious movie titled Black Sunday hit the big screens.  But, before it hit the big screens one of the final scenes had to be shot.

That scene had the ever-present at Super Bowl games Goodyear Blimp hitting a packed Orange Bowl Stadium during Super Bowl X, and dropping a bomb that would turn lose a quarter-million steel flechettes(think mini bombs).  The terroristic plot was foiled at the last second, but not before it terrorized 80,000 fans who were actually movie stand-ins of course.  The film grossed $16 million.

Now, 45 years later, Super Bowl LVI will be the 56th Super Bowl and is scheduled to be played on February 13, 2022, at SoFi Stadium in Inglewood, California, a city two miles from LAX and not far from the movie-making capital of the world-Hollywood.

Note we said scheduled to be played.  There’s a terror of a different kind sweeping the nation as we write.  And, last night there it was scrolling across the ever-present ESPN updates.  “The NFL is looking into alternate sites to host SB LVI.”

What the scroll didn’t say was why.  Why move?  It’s because Omicron is the 2022 version of the bomb and the ease of its transmission is the quarter-million flechettes.

The real why of course is that the NFL show must go on as Hollywood might say even if it needs to move to another state and stadium.  Super Bowl “movies” gross way more than $16 million worldwide these days.

A determined virus should never get in the way of capitalism, our economy, our freedom, and our independence many say.  The “many” who say that are few when it comes to California governance, however.

You can never be “too safe,” and even level that might not be safe enough for Cali.  Could Cali opt out of SB LVI? Will Gavin Newsom make the call from the French Laundry Restaurant for the safety of the citizens he governs?

Could LA?  The Rose Bowl was played last Saturday in Pasadena.  But. But. But, new cases are geometrically increasing.

The world is waiting because the world will be watching regardless of what patch of grass it’s played on in five weeks.

It would take some game balls to call it off and make the NFL move the game and its footballs to another state.  It would be another huge defining moment of how divided our United States are on issues big and small.

Super Bowl LVI hits the big screens in your living room in five weeks and the Goodyear Blimp, sans flechettes, will have an eye in the sky to bring it to you.

Safety first?  Or hooray, hooray for Inglewood?

 

Soon Enough, Hopefully.

Posted on by thependulumswings staff

When can’t get here soon enough.  Can it?

When will Joe Biden realize it’s 2022 and not 2020?  Will it be in 2024?

When will the Democratic Party begin the “thanks Joe for saving us from Trump, you were the right man at the right time to bring class and respect back to the Oval Office, and it’s, unfortunately, your choice to move on, but we respect your decision” campaign?  Will it be right after the 2022 midterms that he thinks are the 2020 midterms?

When will the press stop calling Joe’s incoherent thoughts, mumbles, memory loss, misstatements, and outright lies what they are, and not “gaffes?”  Will it be right after said midterms?

When will that same party realize that Kamala Harris is utterly unelectable on the national stage?   Will it be yesterday or sooner?

When will Team Hillary announce that she’s retained advisors looking into the feasibility of another run at the big job?  Will anyone care?

When will Team Michelle Obama announce that she has retained advisors to look into the feasibility for a first run at the big job?

When will the Republicans realize that Donald Trump is no longer electable on the big stage as well?

When will the RNC realize that the independent voters currently running/sprinting from Biden and his party will make a u-turn if Trump gets the nomination?

When will Nancy Pelosi retire?  Will it be after the 2022 midterms that Joe still thinks will take place in 2020?

When will CNN pivot back to the middle?  Will they realize the space is wide open?

When did Biden’s team decide to parade him out yesterday and call this the “pandemic of the unvaccinated” when Omicron is smashing right through the fully vaccinated and boosted as well?  Did the phrase poll well?

When will actually start following the science?

When will Fauci, the NIH, the CDC, and the WHO actually address treatments vs. harumphing the jab every damn day?

When will America collectively stop wearing worthless cloth masks on their face?

When will parents start influencing how schools are run vs. school officials dictating to America how they will be run?

When will America collectively stop yelling about who Twitter censures? When will they understand that Twitter is a public company that can do what it wants with content as long as the content isn’t technically theirs?

When will Elon Musk say enough and buy Twitter and Facebook, sorry Metaverse, with the loose change that he has under his sofa cushions?

When will NY say “enough already” and stop electing officials like newly-installed Manhattan DA Alvin Bragg who will not seek pre-trial detention or prison sentences for crimes other than homicide, public corruption, and a few other exceptional cases?

When will NY realize they hired a woman named AOC who actually has exhibited the brain capacity of a 13-year-old teenager from time to time?

When will this bowl season of 6-6 teams end?  Was it last night?

When will Nick Saban stop focusing on the process and retire?  Will it be a week after never?

When will this writer know when to say when?  Will it be right now, or should it have been a few sentences back?

 

 

Opt out? Cop out?

Posted on by thependulumswings staff

Is opt out the new cop out?

Ben McDonald, former Baltimore Orioles pitcher turned SEC Network analyst, feels strongly that when it comes to a football bowl game that it is.

His Friday tweet read, “Hot topic again!  Players that opt out of bowl games!!  Can we please call it what it is?  Nobody opts out…they Quit! They quit on their teammates, coaches, and university!  That’s the bottom line.  Here’s the dirty little secret…they will do it at the net level too!  GM’s beware!”

Before the 2020 season started in year one of the coronavirus, the NCAA allowed a player to not play, not lose their scholarship, and not lose any eligibility if they felt like sitting beat possibly catching the dreaded illness.  Sounded reasonable then.

But, opting out now has spread like the Delta variant did in early 2021.  Running second team?  Opt out.  Coaches running you too hard?  Opt out.  Running from a girlfriend?  Opt out.  Running to a new coach at a new school?  Opt out.  NIL money better across the way?  Opt out.

Opting out and heading to the transfer portal is as easy as Alabama beating Rice.  Just say the word.  Heck, if you don’t like how your season is going, opt out.  If your coach gets fired, opt back in.

The counter to the complaint is that coaches leave for greener(read that as money) pastures all of the time. Players aren’t getting paid to play, so why shouldn’t they as well?

The counter to the counter is that now players are getting paid to play in addition to a paid-for scholarship.  Note, scholarships are paid for, not free.

So what is their obligation?  Where does the NCAA(if it exists in three years) draw the line?

The genie is out of the bottle.  And, it has granted too many wishes.

The landscape of college sports is changed forever.  That is until the next change moves it in another direction.

But back to McDonald’s rant, we go.  If you’ve toiled for a team, why leave before a bowl game?

Well, if the star QB is likely to get drafted you say “why should he risk injury, curtailing, or hurting his chances of getting the big bucks?”  When then does playing make more sense than not?  Maybe quit three games into the season?  Six?  Nine?  Before the bowl?  Why play in all-star bowls?  Why play ever?

Matt Corral played.  He barely avoided serious injury.  It meant something to him.

Ah, but if you’re in the playoffs (Alabama, Michigan, Georgia, Cincinnatti) those are meaningful games says the current sentiment.  Opting out of those would be moronic and you’d be labeled a quitter.  Hmm.  Where to draw that pesky line?

Skip the meaningless Continental Tire Bowl last Tuesday in depressing downtown Detroit and who cares?  Maybe your teammates care that you don’t?  If they don’t maybe they shouldn’t be on the team either?

Since there are plenty of “I’s” now in “team,” where oh where do you draw the line?

The NCAA took Bob Barker’s advice years ago and got neutered.  But it could grow a pair and put stipulations into the scholarship offers and NIL restrictions/ opportunities going forward if it chose to.

You’d have to play to get paid.

You certainly do at the next level.

Old Ben McDonald once threw 159 pitches in an NCAA regional final in early June to get his baseball team to the College World Series. He was drafted two weeks later in round one.

He knows a thing or 159 about loyalty.  And, he didn’t get paid a dime to do so.

 

2022

Posted on by thependulumswings staff

Thankfully 2021 was one and done.  On to 2022 and hopefully out with the old and in with the new.

In our last column of the year we take a peek at what’s in store for us next year in the business, political, and sports worlds month by month.

January- Michigan wins its first FBS National Championship in OT over Alabama 35-31.  Joe Biden undergoes minor surgery and mistakenly names his new dog Commander as commander in chief over Kamala Harris prior to sedation.  Omicron new cases peak, then start a slow decline as the CDC announces a better test for the variant will be available March 1.  Ghislaine Maxwell finds out the hard way that orange is indeed the new black.

February- Green Bay and Kansas City meet in Super Bowl LVI just as they did in SB I over 55 years ago.  Fittingly GB hoists the Lombardi Trophy winning 30-24.  Inflation reaches 10.0% annualized.  Joe Kernan is suspended after striking Andrew Ross Sorkin on-air for mentioning gas prices slid another 2 cents last week.

March- Commander bites the hand that feeds him.  Joe is sutured by Dr. Jill Biden who says the wound is transitory.  March Madness delivers on its name in a big way.  In round one number one seeded Gonzaga is upset by Sam Houston St. 73-71!  Apple introduces its self-driving car, customers go bananas, but early feedback labels it a lemon.

April- The massive Thwaites Glacier in Antarctica falls apart raising sea levels by 10 feet.  Key West is now Key Deep South.  Miami rebrands itself as Venice. Tiger Woods has a leg up in the final round of The Masters but loses by one penalty stroke to Patrick Cantlay after failing to sign his scorecard.  The Dow crosses 38,000.  Joe successfully fights off a six-week infection from the butchered sew job.  Barrack Obama chimes in to mockingly announce, “If you like your doctor, you can keep your doctor.”

May- Venice is now swimming with tourists.  A refreshed Kamala Harris returns from her March vacation.  LeBron James announces his retirement from the NBA and accepts Biden’s offer to become US Ambassador to China.  CNN hires Andrew Cuomo and rehires Chris Cuomo to cohost a new primetime show tentatively called When No One Is Watching.

June- Hunter Biden slips in his art studio on some dropped oil paint and breaks his hip.  Russia invades Ukraine.  Biden threatens to reduce vodka imports. The Utah Jazz defeats the Chicago Bulls in a four-game NBA Finals sweep.  Kamala Harris calls the locker room, laughs nervously, and asks to congratulate Karl Malone.

July – Nancy Pelosi announces that she is retiring to her waterfront beach home in Atlanta (Thwaites Glacier effect) at year’s end after 259 years in Congress.  A new Covid-19 variant named Kalamata is discovered in Greece.  Biden threatens to ban olive imports unless they are fully pitted.  The MLB All-Star game is moved from Los Angeles after the City Council refuses to force the homeless encampment in left field to relocate.

August- Hurricane Condoleezza slams rural Louisiana destroying rice fields near and far.  Aaron Rodgers suits up for a preseason game with his new team, the Washington Football Team.  The Football Team announces a nickname change to the Washington Senators after a fan vote won in a tiebreaker 51-50.  BTS sales plummet as Kalamata spreads like tapenade.   The Dow retreats to 35,000.

September – Twitter bans Dr. Doolittle for speaking out against sixth booster shots.  The Football team starts 0-3.  Rodgers asks the fans to relax.  Yellowstone ends a great run when Beth Dutton goes Die Hard Detective John McClane to the new airport built next door.  OJ Simpson guest stars as season nine rolls on Dexter.

October- New York announces that their mask mandate will remain in effect through October 2027.  Jussie Smollett signs on with Subway as their late-night delivery spokesperson.  The most-desired but least given Halloween treat is Ivermectin.  Mitch McConnell gets new glasses and says he sees a clear path to a Republican House majority in next month’s elections.

November-  The Democrats miraculously hold onto the House.  Biden says his first call will be to Tip O’Neil to congratulate the Speaker.  Texas completes its own border wall as Governor Greg Abbott simultaneously announces that he’ll run for President in 2024.  Alabama losses in back-to-back weeks against LSU and Auburn as Nick Saban goes through a six-pack box of headsets.

December- Dr. Anthony Fauci turns 82 but refuses to blow out the candles on his career.  Biden offers support calling Fauci a young 82.  Seventeen bowl games are canceled as entire teams opt out.  Ryan Day leaves THE OSU to coach the Venice Hurricanes as Mario Cristobal’s tenure was taking on water.  Social distancing guidelines are reduced to half afoot.  Austin Texas changes its name to Los Austin.  And, finally, BBR’s readership crosses 1000 daily thanks to a certain Hilton Head avid reader constantly singing its praises.

See you in 2022.

Enjoy the bubbly!