We’re emptying the virtual notebook today.  It’s important to clean it out before our staff takes a research trip to the motherland of Scotland.  BBR will be dark next week.

Why do we drive on a parkway yet park on a driveway?  Nevermind.

Why did Al Gore invent the transfer portal?  Wait, we’re being told it was the NCAA.  It was created partially to offset decisions and timing thereof like the one Jim Schlossnagle made this week.  College Station is burning.

Why hasn’t anyone been arrested and sentenced for their conduct on Epsteins Island after he and his enabler Ghislaine Maxwell have been?  We suspect it is because somebody knows somebody who knows it’s not in their best interest.

Why don’t we decide as a country if we want illegal immigration or if we want borders?  If it is a problem, it isn’t hard to slow dramatically and quickly.  Put out the word that you’re going back to where you originated.

Why does Mexico make you show a passport to spend a lot of money there as a tourist, but allows millions from multiple countries to walk northward right across it?  Follow the dirty money.

Why has Biden been hiding at Camp David for the last seven days?  He’s debate prepping on your dime.  Part of the prep (supposedly) is some physical training to endure standing for 90 straight minutes.  Are they changing his sleep patterns too so he doesn’t “sundown” right on camera tomorrow PM?

Why would Trump agree to CNN hosting the debate?  Jake Tapper?  June 27th when no one is watching?  No back and forth?  Ego.  Trump wins in his mind even when he loses.

Why did Trump pick Vivek Ramaswamy as his VP running mate?  No, you didn’t miss anything.  It’s an updated prediction.  He should have picked Tulsi Gabbard, but he didn’t.  Vivek can sell.  Trump likes a mouthpiece that will spread the right words.  He learned from his Mike Pence choice.  Pence couldn’t sell snow cones to all of us suffering from global warming.

Why is Planned Parenthood contributing $40 million to Biden and Dem Congressional campaigns with your tax dollar donations?  Cause they can.  Ain’t America great?

Why is women’s wellness, aka abortion, such an important issue this fall?  It’s because half of the votes come from those who identify as females and they place it far and away as their number one issue.  If Trump wins it will be because he greatly clarifies his position on the hot potato topic.

Why won’t someone in Congress make it their sole goal to bring incredible pressure against our spending problem creating our 35 trillion dollar debt problem?  Is it because they’d rather have a job than represent what is best for the US?

We’re substituting “how for “why” for our grand finale.  How do you know if a politician is lying? If his lips are moving you know.

Is the question, “Has America failed today’s youth?”  Or, is the question, “How has America failed today’s youth?”

It starts in the home.

The percentage of two-parent households has fallen significantly in the last half-century.  Between 1970 and 2022 the percentage of white children living with two decreased from 90 to 77%, Hispanics from 77 to 67%, and blacks from 59 to 42%.

Aren’t the ages from birth to five the most formative years?  More single-parent homes mean more daycare or preschool.  Isn’t a parent more attentive to their child than a daycare worker is to a multiple of them?

Many more families need two breadwinners to provide enough income to stay afloat.  This means more children head to daycare or preschool as well.

And, now two handfuls of states have rushed legislation to ensure the child’s right to decide which gender they want to be when they grow up.  Hormone blockers and gender reassignment follow, perhaps?

Video games lead to isolation.  Isolation leads to the internet.  The internet leads to social media where all hell really can break loose.

The need to belong is innate.  It raises self-esteem.  If you sit in the basement what do you belong to?

In 2020 and 2021 we decided that the only way to protect children from that deadly virus was to keep them out of school.  Decades back parents rushed kids to school to get sick to bolster their immune systems.  Further isolation for two years (think ages 12-14 for example) is bad for multiple age groups.

What do you study when you get to college?  Whatever you want.  But before you get there, you must excel at one or more standardized tests to prove your worth.  Well, you used to.

Now these pesky competence tests are biased, racist, or deemed out of step.  Remember, everyone gets a participation ribbon.  DEI folks step to the front.

If you are still looking for a cause, dye your hair half-blue and pick up a pro-Palestinian/Hamas/Antifa sign at your convenience.  It’s a cause to get behind if you feel oppressed.  Never mind that you are protesting for oppression.

Professors(read as teachers that hide in school basements) will give you an A after skipping finals if you feel terrorized by police coming to campus to take back what you took that doesn’t belong to you.

Everyone graduates!  Ask Oprah.

That mostly worthless degree in anthropology, art history, philosophy, or ethnic and civilization studies can send you back to your bedroom at your mom’s house. With the school administrator-to-student ratio at nearly one-to-one on campuses such as Harvard, Stanford, and Columbia(to name but a few) you’d think they would steer you towards something that would pay to have studied.

What did the degree cost?   More than ever, just like the administrators.

Can’t pay for your student loan? Uncle Joe the former 18-wheeler driver, Amtrak conductor, and Penn Professor, whose Uncle 2nd Lt. Ambrose J. Finnegan Jr. was consumed by cannibals, will transfer your debt obligation back to the government after he returns to the White House from the black church he regularly attends.

Is Joe Biden an enabler or a buyer of votes?  Both?

See a shrink.  They love half-dyed hair and nose rings.  After all, nose ring rhymes with cha-ching!

They’ll tell you that the American dream is still attainable.

Don’t worry about that 7% mortgage interest rate, you won’t qualify.

Upon further review, “It’s how.”

Once achieved a masterpiece is best left as the only one.  Those who signed up for Caddyshack II can readily attest to that.

But, the young are unimpressed.  They’re auditioning on college campuses across the land for roles in Animal House II.

The would-be actors are smart we assume, but too dumb to know any better.

Those at Columbia University, not Columbia Pictures, reached new theatrical lows yesterday.  Playing the role of persecuted Palestinians while studying for finals and paying 96k a year for the privelege requires balance.  They tried.

But, Dean Wormer was watching back in 1978.  He admonished the Delta House leadership, “Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way of going through life.”  Then he placed them on “double secret probation” threatening to kick them off campus altogether.

So, when the bad actors took over Hamilton Hall late Tuesday night Columbia’s leadership(a great example of an oxymoron) did a double take.

By midday out from the occupation of the hallowed hall emerged PhD student Johannah King-Slutzky(yes that’s her name) with an urgent request.  The oppressed within the structure needed food and water.  “Does Columbia want its students facing hunger and dehydration?” she postured.

Does that sound like a five-year-old screaming for more pizza rolls?

It’s a Hamas thing to attack something and then demand humanitarian aid while making zero concessions.

Slutzky is no Bluto Blutarsky.  Her biography states she is “working on her dissertation of fantasies of limitless energy of the transatlantic Romantic imagination from 1760-1860.  My goal is to write a prehistory of the metabolic rift, Marx’s term for the disruption of energy circuits caused by industrialization under capitalism.”

But they are similar.  Blutarsky, realizing the end was near bemoaned, “Christ. Seven years of college down the drain. Might as well join the f**king Peace Corps.”

You’ll be paying Slutzky’s student loan back soon.

By nightfall the occupied space became occupied by NY’s finest and then unoccupied.  The city of CHAZ in the summer of love lasted longer.

One student, seconds from being cuffed and stuffed screamed, “We have finals this week.  Can’t we go home?”  Hopefully, when booked into the jail he/she was not misgendered.

Otter uttered, “I think that this situation absolutely requires a really futile and stupid gesture be done on somebody’s part.”

Mission accomplished.

Before Columbia, Slutzky, in her own words, worked as a political strategist for leftist and progressive causes and remains active in the higher education labor movement.  Ah, now we’re getting somewhere.

Thomas Sowell opined, “We seem to be getting closer and closer to a situation where nobody is responsible for what they did but we are all responsible for what somebody else did.”

Bluto had sage words for us nearly 50 years ago.  “My advice to you is that we all start drinking heavily.”