You Want Weird?

Roughly a week ago, the machine known as the DNC dropped its latest talking points to its faithful in elected offices and an eager-to-please media.

As Carrie Bradshaw would say,  “And just like that JD Vance was weird!”  Why?  Cause everyone says so, it is so.

Much more quietly the national debt passed $35 trillion.  That doesn’t sell nearly as many ads as labeling a VP as weird to try to help get an Indian/Jamaican woman elected as the first black female president.  Got that?

And, after an attempted assassination that some are trying to label as not an attempted assassination, you might need a break.

Weird times call for weird one-liners.

How about a baker’s dozen or so one from a uniquely weird comic?  We present some of Steven Wright’s masterpieces below.

 

If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?

I got food poisoning today. I don’t know when I’ll use it.

Sponges grow in the ocean. That just kills me. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be if that didn’t happen.

Last week I forgot how to ride a bicycle.

I went to San Francisco. I found someone’s heart.

Is “tired old cliche” one?

I got a garage door opener. It can’t close. Just open.

If you were going to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer?

You can’t have everything. Where would you put it?

I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn’t park anywhere near the place.

On the other hand, you have different fingers.

I went to a restaurant that serves “breakfast at any time”. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.

I was sad because I had no shoes until I met a man with no feet. So I said, “Got any shoes you’re not using?”

 

Weird indeed.

 

 

 

Unburdened

After the last eight days labeling the US a banana republic might be insulting to banana republics.  In today’s world with Veep Kamala Harris poised(or not) to be the next nominee for the Democratic Party it might also be an insulting racist comment.

The Republican Party nominee and former President survived an attempted assassination.   His protectors were anything but when he needed them the most.

The Democratic Party nominee is(or was) the sitting President who didn’t survive a DNC power play.  His protectors were anything but when he needed them the most.

Eighty-one million popular votes in 2020 wasn’t enough to save Biden from himself in 2024.  As of Friday, he said he was still running.  Sunday the DNC money donors said he wasn’t.

“Unburdened by the past we look to tomorrow, for there is no tomorrow without today.  And, today was yesterday’s tomorrow.  Unburdened.”   –Kamala sort of.

On Sunday on a piece of plain white paper, he signed his name(maybe) to a letter he didn’t write saying he was no longer running for president in 2024 and posted it on X.  No photo of him signing.  No sighting of him.  His admin and aides had no idea.

If he’s not fit to run in 2024 is he fit to finish his term?   We digress.

Voila!  The coup is complete.  The Democratic Party, who reminds you that Trump is a threat to our democracy,  removed Joe in a very undemocratic way.  He couldn’t win.  So they quit on him.

You’re forced out because the elites know you can’t win.  You fold.  They pick your replacement.  Is this how democratic elections are supposed to unfold?

The system only cares about holding on to the power.  It gets you to the money.  “Democracy” is but a cover.

Minutes later scrappy-no-more Joe from Scranton endorsed Kamala Harris.  Quickly, Newsom, Buttigieg, Shapiro, Whitmer, and many others did too.  Notably Obama, Pelosi, Schumer, and Jeffries did not.

Will they all eventually coalesce around VP Harris?  If so, she’ll be the choice now who dropped out in 2016 before the Dems Iowa Primary with less than one percent of the projected vote.  She will do so without a primary this time.  And, she is the one who lied to the public repeatedly about Biden’s actual health until the last minute.

How convenient.

Legally there is the Biden/Harris $280 million PAC war chest that can only be used if she runs.  The power brokers have a month to use it and then decide.

She’s on trial.  As a former state attorney general, she knows how tricky verdicts can be.  Unburdened?  Or, do they have one burden left?  As VP her approval ratings rival Walter Mondale’s.

Meanwhile, a guy with a hole in his ear awaits.  He’s been impeached, impeached again, threatened with ballot removal, indicted, arrested, convicted, and shot.

He’s put a Bush, a Clinton, and a Biden out.  It’s four decades and counting since one of those establishment names wasn’t running for office.

He’s not a threat to democracy.  He’s a threat to “them.”

He’s a threat to the golden goose.  And, the Democratic Party just laid a very different egg.

At this point, an October Surprise will not surprise.

The End

Shortly after POTUS Barack Obama became the former prez he uttered the infamous sentence, “Never underestimate Joe Biden’s ability to mess things up.”

Actually, he did not say “mess.”  What he did say was a four-letter word though.

In 2019 Barack didn’t give Joe what he asked for.  Biden came to the clear Democratic Party leader and asked for his endorsement to run for president in 2020.  Instead, he told Joe, “You know you don’t have to do this.”

But Biden soldiered on.  He told us that the soul of the country was at stake.  This was after his son sold his and Joe’s soul to Ukraine, but we digress.

Eighty-one million votes and one “insurrection” later, Biden started calling the White House home.  Is Arizona finished counting votes yet?  We digress again.

Fast forward to the first debate of 2024 on Joe’s way to reelection, and he hit a pothole.  And, it was one big, incoherent, babbling run-on sentence after another surely caused by jet lag and a cold.  Or, not.

This was the beginning of the end publicly.  For DNC brass it was the middle.

When one runs for the highest office in all of the land he or she must win two votes.  The first one is the coronation from the internal powers who control the donation kitty.  The second is the Electoral College.

A couple of weeks later facing sharp persistent criticism, Biden landed in Los Angeles for a heavy Hollywood-hitting fundraiser hosted by Obama’s tight buddy, George Clooney.  With 28 mil secured Biden boarded Air Force One to head east.

But, once the checks cleared Clooney did the switch art of the old bait and switch.  He said the obvious out loud.  Biden has(most would say had) deteriorated significantly and wondered if he was fit to serve four more years.  Clooney, by Obama’s proxy,  green-lit the lieutenants.

Adam Shiff became the 20th Dem Rep/Senator to ask Biden to reconsider.  Reports are that friend Chuck Schumer, in a one-on-one, told Biden directly that he should stop the campaign.

Joe pressed on.  His inner circle has no conscience.  Yesterday, he forgot his appointed Secretary of Defense Lloyd Austin’s name in an interview.  He referred to him as “the black man.”  Oh, yes he did.

By nightfall, he did all he could to stay vertical climbing ever so slowly up the short steps of Air Force One.

Now it’s Covid for the thrice-boosted one.  Joy Reid said this could be a benefit to the campaign. “He can remind people of what hell we went through because of Donald Trump.”

Campaign?

“It ain’t over ’til it’s over,”  Yogi Berra wisely reasoned long ago.  Joy heartedly agrees today.

The DNC plans to push back their convention a month.  Hmmmm.

Barack Obama has spoken.  Therefore, the money has as well.

It’s over.

The end.

 

 

That Close

It’s no secret that it’s a fine line in this country between civility and incivility.  Late Saturday afternoon it got as close to crossing over as the distance between former President Donald Trump’s ear and his head.

Luckily for him even more than us, it didn’t.

Who is to blame?  It starts with the deranged 20-year-old who pulled the trigger.  No gun has ever shot anyone.  It needs a human’s finger to pull the trigger.

But, it’s reached a point where that’s only the end result.

For the lone gunman to get to the high point on the roof a mere 130 yards away is a Secret Service failure plain and simple.  As a team, they looked balky(and that’s being kind) trying to surround Trump, move him to the safety of the limo, and whisk him away.

Three female agents looked like unsynchronized swimmers in dire need of floaties.  The relatively new leader of the USSS Kimberly Cheatle is the 27th Director of the U.S. Secret Service, sworn into office on September 17, 2022.  Her publicly stated goal of having 30% female agents ASAP might be ambitious.  How about having the very best candidates regardless of skin color, gender, and sexual orientation?

This was a DEI failure and an abject team job failure overall.  Ms. Cheatle should pay for it with her job.

But they were dealt this dangerous situation by an even deeper hand.

The animous that the left has for Donald Trump is unhinged.  Donald and the right have a hand in egging it on as well.

President Biden took to the airwaves yesterday.  “The political rhetoric in this country has gotten very heated. It’s time to cool it down.”

Just last week Biden was trying to rally the deflated Dem donors.  “I have one job, and that’s to beat Donald Trump. So, we’re done talking about the debate.  It’s time to put Donald Trump in a bullseye.”

You can almost hear him if asked today, “Oh, you know what I meant, come on man!”  Sir, we rarely know what you mean these days.

“Our very democracy is at stake.”  Trump will be a dictator from day one.”  “This is what Hitler did.”    Jeez, somebody better do something about this guy.

And, a very misguided 20-year-old who likely liked blue hair had a hair trigger because somehow he was triggered.  Go figure.

Social media is like watching a long rally in a ping-pong match.  “Gotch ya.”  “No, I got you.”  People only relent when their mom calls them to dinner or the phone battery needs recharging.

The mainstream media personalities are only cheerleaders for their chosen side while constantly castigating the other.

And then there is Hollywood for now.   It will mostly move to Canada if Trump gets reelected.

Kathy Griffin had his decapitated head in her hand.  Tiny Robert De Niro is going to slug him in the face.  Anthony Bourdain wants to poison him.  Madonna wants to blow him up.  Rosie O’Donnell ends it all by throwing him over a cliff even though she can’t see her shoelaces.

Some people believe that these actors are more than just that.

And, let’s be perfectly candid.  There are a lot of not-too-smart people.  And, it only takes one.

Where to from here?

For former President Trump luckily that answer is Milwaukee.  “Fight.”  Fight!”  “FIGHT!”

For America, we wonder.

 

 

 

 

 

To Fight Another Day

As the US heavyweight championship bout neared the challenger and the champ approached the ring.  The challenger strode confidently, never short on confidence.  The champ shuffled but it was not exactly like Ali did it.

“Ladies and Gentlemen, let’s get ready to rumble.”  Actually, only one lady and one gentleman were allowed to view the fight.

Ding! Ding!

Quickly it was apparent that the champ misunderstood the ring announcer.  Biden must have thought he said, “Let’s get ready to mumble.”

It would be kind to say it was a slow start for the champ.

The last few seconds of round three ticked away, and Biden was on the ropes.  His last sentence sounded like anything but one.

Challenger Trump sensed weakness and went for the haymaker.  “I don’t understand what he said at the end of that last sentence, and I don’t think he does either.”

Boom!  The fight was over.  It was more than a standing eight count.  It was a TKO.  It was prescient as it summarized the entire night.

As future rounds wore on Trump bragged, exaggerated, avoided, and lied.   He was far from perfect.  He always is.

But, the champ showed his age.  He was only fighting half a round at times.  “President Biden, you still have 83 seconds left, would you care to say anything else?”

“Yes, I would, Number one blah, blah, blah.  And number two, blah blah blah.”   Speaking of number two, we can only hope for his sake.

This performance came after he was sequestered for seven days at Camp David focused solely on debate prep.

At this point, interest in the showdown had waned.  Policy wasn’t on the card any longer.  The ability to hold office competently till you’re 86 is.  Or was.

Biden was asked about abortion-an issue that he leads on.  He attempted a comeback.  Then he uttered, “we need abortion because a lot of women are raped by their in-laws and sisters.”

Sisters?  It all depends on how you identify these days.

Mercifully, the bell rang.  Trump strode out just like he strode in.

Biden must have felt like Rocky at the end of Rocky.  He was helped down the stairs by Adrianne, er, Dr Jill.  It was a sad end to a bad night for him.

But was it his last fight?  Another is scheduled this fall.

Or was this fight scheduled perfectly by the Democrats?

If they can convince Irish Joe to step away it gives them time to rally behind another.  They have fifteen rounds of film to help him see the light.

They floated the timing and conditions of this one to the Trump Camp.  He latched on hook, line, and sinker.

What was the bait?  The bait was his ego.  He’s a street fighter from NY.  Anytime, anywhere suits him just fine.

Did he win the night but lose the election?

You have to pay off Kamala.  Her approval ratings are lower than Joe’s.

Gavin Newsom, an undercard fighter to this point, is champing

 

 

 

Why Not Ask?

We’re emptying the virtual notebook today.  It’s important to clean it out before our staff takes a research trip to the motherland of Scotland.  BBR will be dark next week.

Why do we drive on a parkway yet park on a driveway?  Nevermind.

Why did Al Gore invent the transfer portal?  Wait, we’re being told it was the NCAA.  It was created partially to offset decisions and timing thereof like the one Jim Schlossnagle made this week.  College Station is burning.

Why hasn’t anyone been arrested and sentenced for their conduct on Epsteins Island after he and his enabler Ghislaine Maxwell have been?  We suspect it is because somebody knows somebody who knows it’s not in their best interest.

Why don’t we decide as a country if we want illegal immigration or if we want borders?  If it is a problem, it isn’t hard to slow dramatically and quickly.  Put out the word that you’re going back to where you originated.

Why does Mexico make you show a passport to spend a lot of money there as a tourist, but allows millions from multiple countries to walk northward right across it?  Follow the dirty money.

Why has Biden been hiding at Camp David for the last seven days?  He’s debate prepping on your dime.  Part of the prep (supposedly) is some physical training to endure standing for 90 straight minutes.  Are they changing his sleep patterns too so he doesn’t “sundown” right on camera tomorrow PM?

Why would Trump agree to CNN hosting the debate?  Jake Tapper?  June 27th when no one is watching?  No back and forth?  Ego.  Trump wins in his mind even when he loses.

Why did Trump pick Vivek Ramaswamy as his VP running mate?  No, you didn’t miss anything.  It’s an updated prediction.  He should have picked Tulsi Gabbard, but he didn’t.  Vivek can sell.  Trump likes a mouthpiece that will spread the right words.  He learned from his Mike Pence choice.  Pence couldn’t sell snow cones to all of us suffering from global warming.

Why is Planned Parenthood contributing $40 million to Biden and Dem Congressional campaigns with your tax dollar donations?  Cause they can.  Ain’t America great?

Why is women’s wellness, aka abortion, such an important issue this fall?  It’s because half of the votes come from those who identify as females and they place it far and away as their number one issue.  If Trump wins it will be because he greatly clarifies his position on the hot potato topic.

Why won’t someone in Congress make it their sole goal to bring incredible pressure against our spending problem creating our 35 trillion dollar debt problem?  Is it because they’d rather have a job than represent what is best for the US?

We’re substituting “how for “why” for our grand finale.  How do you know if a politician is lying? If his lips are moving you know.

 

 

 

Maybe

Whether you only watch CNN in airports while waiting for a DEI-piloted plane, or if you watch them daily, most can agree that the network leans left.

So, when they presented their latest polling data five months before the Nov 2024 elections you can understand the apoplexy.

What was already known is that Biden is fatigued.  But what was discovered is that the Black Community might be increasingly fatigued with Biden.

If we aren’t supposed to see color why do we still recognize communities by color of skin?  We digress.

The CNN poll shows Biden with a 70% to 21% lead over Trump in 2024 with “likely Black voters” currently.  Sounds pretty good for the Dems?

Not so fast.  At the same time in 2020, Biden held an 86% to 7% margin.

If the 70-21 margin held on the actual ballots cast this fall it would be a six-decade low of African Americans supporting the Democratic candidate.  CNN Senior Data Reporter Harry Enten called it “a historic performance in the making” that “leaves me speechless.”

But he went on talking anyway.

When you look at Blacks 50 and older Biden holds an 74 point advantage over Trump down from 83 points in 2020.

But the under-50-year-old lead in 2024 plummets.  The advantage for this age group shrivels from +80 to +37.  In other words, only one-half as many “young uns” favor Biden four years later.  That’s a yuge change as one would say.

Harry shrieked, “The Blacks are leaving Biden in droves.”

The age-old political line is, “Ask yourself if you are better off than you were four years ago.”

For blacks should it be, “Ask yourself if you are better off than 60 years ago?”  While the answer is likely yes, is that gap still far too wide in their minds?

Trump asked Blacks in 2016 to vote for him.  He even uttered, “You’ve been voting one way forever, what have you got to lose?”  Political pundits panned the pandering labeling it racist.  Don’t they always?

But, perhaps unlike the glove the shoe might fit.

Does Biden need to go to the black church of his choice more often?  Maybe student debt forgiveness isn’t enough to buy a vote.  Ten thousand to first-time homeowners isn’t either.

How about a half-black female VP?  Maybe a black female Supreme Court Justice isn’t.

Maybe the historic first black female lesbian Press Secretary won’t get it.  You’ve seen Karine Jean Claude Pepe Le Phew Van Dame Pierre wax eloquently from the podium, haven’t you?

Maybe if we stopped calling “them” the Black Community and realized that interest rates, crime, inflation, wild spending, and illegal immigration impact us all negatively we’d progress.

Maybe CNN is fair and balanced after all.

Maybe.

What have we got to lose?

Everything.

 

 

The Sporting World

As the Father’s Day grill heated up poolside so did the action on four TVs.   Four TVs and a pool.   Is that white privilege?  We’re asking for a neighbor.

The WNBA’s Indiana Fever vs. the Chicago Sky occupied one, the USGA US Open a second, the FSU vs. Virginia elimination College World Series game a third, and the former cheaters and now mediocre hometown Houston Astros were hosting the Detroit Tigers on the last one.

Caitlin Clark felt the privilege of being white on the side of her noggin midway through the second half.  Angel Reese, aka the Bayou Barbie, knocked her upside her head on a trip to the bucket and was charged with a flagrant foul.

It wasn’t Clark’s first hard knocks lesson on her rookie journey and it won’t be her last.  The WNBA’s biggest problems were 1)no one watches, and 2) it’s a $50 million a year cash drain on the NBA, never coming close to turning a profit.

Now its biggest problem is people are interested in Clark and the league’s players are interested in keeping her down.  Do blacks and black lesbians sense white privilege from this new straight star?  The political atmosphere of dividing us to conquer might have the answer to that.

Some players said last week that they wanted profit-sharing like their big brothers have in the NBA.  With this increased attendance and viewership, the league is still expected to lose $25 million.

Be careful what you wish for.  “Nothing from nothing leaves nothing,” Billy Preston once sang.

Meanwhile, Bryson DeChambeau, of LIV fame, won the Open over PGA stalwart and player spokesperson Rory McIlroy and his two missed short putts.  The golf world is seriously fractured as very rich LIV golfers make more money playing far less than rich PGA players.  Privilege personified.

It’s so petty in that world that 2023 US Ryder Cup captain Zach Johnson chose his PGA buddy Justin Thomas over a LIVid DeChambeau last fall for the team.  The US was all but eliminated on day one last October.

Thomas was in and remains in the worst slump of his career.  The unconventional DeChambeau’s stock was and is soaring.   DeChambeau finished at -6 yesterday while Thomas missed the cut carding a two-round total of +11.

Meanwhile, the CWS has a bit of NIL and transfers to deal with nearly daily.   Still, its relative innocence, camaraderie, and imperfections make one yearn for simpler times and purer competition.   Watching 30 FSU dudes fly over the dugout railing to congratulate a teammate after a knock is refreshing.   Have a few Jell-o shots and enjoy the Omaha scene.

The once invincible Astros are now very ordinary.  The interest pales in comparison to the above.

Remember when the cheating scandal was front page news while the WNBA wasn’t, LIV wasn’t, and NIL wasn’t?

The sound of that trash can-turned drum is but a distant echo.

Maybe it wasn’t so bad way back when.

 

 

 

Lapdogs and Laptops

The sound caused by the gavel bang still resonating in the Delaware courtroom was just slightly louder than the words still ringing in the ears of those present after the jury foreperson spoke yesterday.

Guilty! Guilty!  Guilty!

Three felonious convictions were the verdicts for Hunter Biden on the illegal purchase and ownership of a handgun while addicted to drugs.

That’s impressive in a bad way but falls far short of 34 guilty verdicts for Donald Trump several days ago for what no one knows.

Hunter stood tall and took his medicine like a man the lapdog media said.  Trump, on the other hand, acted like a petulant child crying wee, wee, wee all the way back to Mar-a-Lago.

We’re in rarified air this election cycle.  If you’re scoring at home we have a convicted former president running for office against a sitting president whose son is now a convicted felon as well.

And, you have credible allegations that the sitting one and his family profited greatly by the son’s “job” of extracting foreign money for peddling the influence of one Joseph Biden, aka “the big guy.”

Many folks say there is plenty of evidence of that and other crimes on the infamous Hunter Biden laptop dropped off for repair but never picked up.  Others, 51 in all from various intel agencies that you pay for, signed an official US document that the Hunter laptop was Russian disinformation.

The wheels of justice grind slowly especially when the DOJ is in play.

Never mind that Joe Biden’s daughter, and Hunter’s sister, wrote in her diary that she remembers her father taking inappropriate showers with her when she was 10 years old.  “She must be believed!” went out of style when #metoo boomeranged.

If Trump wins the possibility that he goes scorched earth in DC and brings down the long arm of the law or “lawfare” on many hiding in the swamp is very real.  He’s playing with house money in term two.  And, he may utter, “You’re fired,” a time or 50.

If incumbent Biden wins the probability of him pardoning his son Hunter is great. He’s playing with house money in term two.  If Biden loses, he could issue the pardon on his way out of the White House door.

And maybe he should.  After all, in a 2019 interview with CNN, Biden said about his son, “He’s the most honorable and decent person I know.”

Joe, the black church-going Irishman must hang out with a tough crowd, though likely not as tough as the one that ate his uncle.

Can’t everyone grow up?  Well, that’s a problem too.

Biden is 81 and too often acts like he’s 95.

Trump is 77 and too often acts like he’s 5.

The choice is yours………………….. unless Fulton County gets involved again.

 

 

 

Five Months Out

Today the race for the White House hits the five-month out marker.  Both campaigns are revving up their political engines.  The tactics from the incumbent side seem to be evolving.

The fellow that many would like to see convicted seems more interested in attacking the “convicted felon” than he is running on his record.  Is that because he hasn’t accomplished enough, or because polling data suggests that the American people think he hasn’t?  Or, is it both?

About this time last year, the Biden campaign rolled out “Bidenomics” like a new car intro.  POTUS and VPOTUS touted job growth, wage expansion, GDP, and falling inflation.  America wasn’t buying it.  Even a lapdog media couldn’t sell this Edsel.

Undeterred, they pivoted to “it’s there,” but it takes time to “feel it,” they said.  The problem for them is that America does feel it and it’s a negative feeling.

The cumulative effect of three years of high inflation is felt at the grocery cash register, the gas pump, and the mortgage loan office.  Wages are up but aren’t keeping up.

Bidenomics is a buzzword that went south.

Speaking of going south, for three years we’ve heard that the border was under control as best as it could be because of the mess he inherited from Trump.

Then this past winter Biden wanted to forge ahead with a deal that he pulled out of the top drawer with Congress to “control” the border. That’s known as a flip-flop.  A bipartisan agreement is the only way to fix it he said.  The bill was a one-sided con to legalize illegal crossings.

Yesterday, he signed an executive action to do what he said he needed Republicans to come along to get done.  But it doesn’t get anything done except pave the road for 1.8 million illegals to continue to cross yearly.

The border is a sieve.

They tried but failed to pin the border mess on the Republicans.

What are the most important issues per polling for Americans this fall?  The economy is one and immigration is two.  Rut roh.

The list continues with crime, abortion, debt, medical care costs, etc.

Only on abortion does Biden’s position outpoll Trump’s. But make no mistake, it is an important one and one that Trump should tackle head-on for clarity of his position.  It only polls somewhat low because women place it way higher than men.  Women are half of the total votes cast.

Looks like it’s time to ramp up the “it’s a fight for our very democracy” battle cry.  This comes from an administration that has weaponized the DOJ to take down opposing views.

Then comes a good dose of racist claims.  The Dems can pander like no other.

Sprinkle in “convicted felon” at each mile marker.  Do you want a “convicted felon” in the White House?

The race to the bottom heats up faster than climate change this time of the year.

Oh, it’s summer?