Author: thependulumswings staff

Take the Money and Run

Posted on by thependulumswings staff

Two months ago Gavin Newsom got taken to the woodshed by Ron Desantis in a FOX News Debate.   Even his staunchest supporters would agree.

Two years ago Gavin Newsom and the Cali government took the old-school NCAA student-athlete no pay model to the woodshed.  Even his biggest detractors would agree.

Pay-for-play from coast to coast was on.  You can’t put toothpaste back in the tube.

Speaking of toothpaste, Gavin himself cashed in on the money, inking NIL deals with Pepsodent Toothpaste and even Brylcreem.  But, we digress.

And now the ever and rapidly revolving college sports landscape continues to search for new solutions to opportunities for NIL.  The NCAA significantly loosening the rules on transferring has made shopping for a new school and more dough a coast-to-coast escapade.

These changes affect all sports and all genders (there are only two) at all universities.  Adapt or die.

Nick Saban, perhaps the best college football coach ever, didn’t die.  But he did move on.  Was it time to go, or what does Nick know?

Nick knows control.

But, there is only so much that you can control today.  If a kid wants to change schools the door swings open early and often in the academic year.

If a kid wants more NIL he knocks on the door.  Short on cash?  The player might be short-lived at your favorite alma mater.

Saban walked out of his own door.  Had the game passed him by?  Well, when it comes to Xs and Os, hardly.  But, when it comes to runny noses Saban is no babysitter.

He walked out on the Dolphins years ago after only two years at the helm.  Why? A good guess would be that he couldn’t control his team like he could in college.    The pro players have plenty of leverage.  They have a union, an agent, and more money than the head coach.

So, when old Nick walked he said,” There never is a good time, but I thought maybe this was the right time.”

He hinted at health reasons, then said he and Miss Terry were fine.  He hinted at workload, but he’s a workaholic.

Isn’t it all about control?

He isn’t alone.  The head coach at a major university is a CEO, salesman, recruiter, rubber chicken circuit speaker, and major fundraiser.  And on rare occasions, he coaches.

Head football coach Jeff Hafley is leaving Boston College to become the defensive coordinator of the Green Bay Packers.  LSU DC Matt House left to go back to coaching linebackers in the NFL.  Both want to put their hand in the dirt rather than shake dirty hands.

Dabo Swinney is learning the hard way that if he doesn’t play by the rules of the new game, the new game will play him.

In 2022 over 1400 football players transferred.  In 2023 the number reached closer to 1800.  Will more than 2024 dudes (there are over 1400 in it right now) pull up to a new dorm in 2024?

Gavin might have lost a debate, but there is no debate that he and a few others have dramatically changed the game.

Nick knows.

 

Ten Piece Nuggets

Posted on by thependulumswings staff

It’s cold outside, but ten nuggets below will warm your innards and get the blood flowing.

  1.  Biden warned Iran and told us as much.  “Don’t.”  He paused.  “Don’t, don’t, don’t.”  They did.  Does he remember reinstating aid to them to the tune of $6 billion for “humanitarian purposes?”  Is the 160th attack on a US base in the last four months since America expressed support for Israel, this time killing three soldiers and injuring scores of others, humanitarian?
  2.  Is the world too big of a stage for Joe?  He thinks not.  Just Saturday he reminded us that he’s been doing foreign policy for a “long, long, long time.”  Hillary Clinton reminded us that as Secretary of State, she flew over two million miles.   Does doing a lot of something make you great at it?  We think not.  Three international conflicts and counting now have us losing lives and giving away billions.
  3.  Old Joe from Scranton was on another stage yesterday.  Sunday he was pimping his past and pandering for his future at an African-American church in South Carolina.   “You had my back, and I hope I had yours,” he campaigned.
  4.  Then he left the pulpit, walked down some stairs, and looked confused as to when and where to walk next.  If you can’t remember how you got on the stage, maybe you should stay off of it.  Maybe his handlers should tell him to always exit stage left like his politics?
  5. How much longer will Nikki Haley try to take center stage from Donald J?  She’s down by 27 points to him in her home state of South Carolina in the latest Tyson Group poll.  Trump stands at 58% to Haley’s 31%.
  6. She’ll run till both the Democrat and Republican money dries up.  SC is on 2/28.  First up is Nevada on 2/8.  It’s doubtful that either party will help her past 2/29 in this leap year.
  7.  Two parties supporting one candidate is rare in today’s divided world.  Conversely, is Donald Trump the only President to draw the ire of both parties while keeping his promises(like them or not) to the American people?
  8.  Five minutes of MSNBC this AM was enough to hear Joe Scarborough claim that Donald Trump favors open borders by supporting Speaker Mike Johnson’s exclamation that the bipartisan border bill was dead on arrival in the House.  Mika nodded affirmatively right on cue.  Joe can articulate DNC talking points way better than most.  Is Joe S. old enough to remember when Trump was insistent on building that “big, beautiful wall” that Congress wasn’t funding?
  9.  Looks like we got us a convoy trucking through the night to south Texas starting right about now.  If you’re up for it, you can join a projected  700k people as they assimilate starting in Virginia to Jacksonville, FL, to Baton Rouge, LA, to Austin, then south to the standoff.
  10.  The length of the border at the source of the Federal v Texas standoff is 2.5 miles.  The Texas border makes up about half of the U.S. border with Mexico stretching 1,254 miles from the Gulf of México to El Paso.   So, after we figure that out, there’s just 1251.5 miles to go.

Time to go.

Good News, Bad News

Posted on by thependulumswings staff

Good news.  We don’t have a crisis at the border anymore.  Bad news.   We have an open border.

With each passing month unenviable records are broken time and again with hundreds of thousands of illegal migrants crossing into the USA.  What has changed to cause this record flow?  The US Government is overtly encouraging it and blatantly lying to us daily about the cause, effect, complicity, and consequences.

Are you old enough to remember when President Biden anointed VP Kamala Harris as border czar?  Approaching three years later she told CNN yesterday “The first bill that we offered after inauguration was to fix the immigration system which included a pathway for citizenship and put the resources that are needed into the border.  But sadly the people on the other side of the aisle are playing politics with the situation.”

That word salad scores a perfect four out of four Pinocchio’s.  “Resources” is to “money” like “women’s wellness” is to “abortion.”  They want more money to process more illegals and grant citizenship, not slow the flow.

The current administration is backed into a corner on this issue.  It’s polling as the number one issue in America for the looming November election.

They opened the door because they wanted to.  Now it’s a stampede.  Their strategy was at first to tell us that it was under control.  Now, it is to blame Republicans.   Four years prior the Democrat-controlled House would not grant Trump what was then a measly $5 billion to build his “big, beautiful wall.”

Texas Governor Greg Abbott opened the eyes of non-border states by bussing thousands of migrants to NY, Chicago, DC, and beyond.  “Take that,” he said.  This greatly enhanced the awareness of the severity of the problem by placing the migrants into their neighborhoods.

He doubled down in the last month by building barbed wire fences (the kind the WH uses for protection from time to time) in a couple of key entry points.  The federal government sued to have it taken down.  They don’t want any barriers.

Yesterday Peter Doocey asked, “Does razor wire work to secure the border?”  Coordinator for Strategic Communications at the National Security Council in the White House John Kirby responded, “I don’t think so that’s why we’re taking it down.”  Abbott tripled down and is putting up even more.

Not to be left out, Mensa candidate Karine Pepe Jean Claude le Phew Pierre said she’s “certainly glad” they sued Texas to remove “ineffective” wire because “it got in the way.”   She did.

They want to make unfettered entry easier.  Period.  Plain and simple.

And they are willing to lie directly and repeatedly to the American public as they continue.  They must think Americans are either dumb, not paying attention, or approving.  Only 31% do approve.

How many are dumb?  We digress.

Our first President George Washington couldn’t not tell a lie to his father after taking a hatchet to the cherry tree.

Our 46th President Joseph Biden and his minions can’t tell the truth.

Good news.  The presidential election is nine months out.

Bad news.  Despite the border, inflation, and one international crisis after another, Joe Biden has a fair to middling chance of reelection.

And, that’s the truth.

 

The Only Answer

Posted on by thependulumswings staff

Elon Musk isn’t busy enough with X, Tesla, and Space X.  Cars, tweets, and trips to Mars are on his plate.

More than a few folks think he rescued free speech when he purchased Twitter, now X, and fundamentally changed the platform’s guardrails.

So, yesterday, he flew across the Atlantic and was interviewed on stage at the European Jewish Association gathering.   He exercised his very own freedom of speech opining, “Always be wary of any name that sounds like it could come out of a George Orwell book.  That’s never a good sign because it sounds like, sure, diversity, equity, and inclusion.  These all sound like nice words, but what it really means is discrimination on the basis of race, sex, and sexual orientation.”

The acronym is DEI.  But, should it be DIE?

Is a company or organization better because of DEI, or better because they hire the most qualified person for any and every position necessary regardless of their race, creed, origin, nationality, color, or sexual orientation?

Rational and logical people know the answer.

But rational and logical left the planet a few years back.  But, is logic making a comeback?  Is DEI going to DIE?

Well, DIE might be a bit strong.  But its health is waning.  The pendulum seems to be swinging.

Its trip to the doctor was accelerated by the abysmal misuse of funds by Black Lives Matter.  Sure, its primary concerns are incidents of police brutality and racially motivated violence against black people.  But, it could have been so much more.

They squandered all of the donations that well-meaning companies contributed.  If you were a friend or a family member of its founder your life mattered.  Inclusion. The bucks stopped there.

If you want real inclusion you need a family and an education that gives you the fundamental building blocks to succeed.  If the family fails the schooling needs to succeed.  If the schooling fails the family must be the backbone.

When both fail, the child/student fails.  Their future success becomes more difficult.

Should a company “give” them a job that they aren’t best qualified for to make up for the failure?  If they want to fall behind they should.

What are those subjects that provide those fundamental building blocks?   Some, in no particular order, are Taxes, Personal Finance, Cooking, Insurance, Home Repair, Self Defense, Survival Skills, Social Etiquette, Public Speaking, Car Maintenance, Stress Management, Nutrition, Work Ethic, and Humility.

Add in a little reading, writing, and arithmetic, and off to work you go.

The only answer is education.  It’s a matter of who teaches what and when.

The who is the nuclear family(or what is left of it) and the school system.

The when should be “as soon as one can comprehend and lasting as long as possible.”

 

 

Ten Hot Nuggets on a Cold Day

Posted on by thependulumswings staff

It may be a tad cold outside, but here in the BBR think kitchen we’ve cooked up ten warm nuggets.

  1. Donald Trump on the eve of the Iowa Republican Caucus has the highest polling share data ever recorded.  He stands at 48%.  Meet The Depressed(credit to Rush L.-GOAT) on NBC shared the news yesterday.
  2. You can change party affiliation in Iowa as often as you wish.  Go figure.  “Many” democrats are planning on doing just that and voting for Nikki Haley today.
  3. Go figure.  Did someone forget to tell them that Haley polls significantly better vs. Joseph Biden than Donald J. does?  Or, is it all part of a plan?
  4. Roger Stone suggested that Donald Trump should pick Tulsi Gabbard as his VP pick for 2024.  We agree and have recommended this and predicted the same a time or two.
  5. Most of us can agree that illegal immigration at our southern border is a wee bit of a problem.  Not Chicago Mayor Brandon Johnson.  He called it an international problem repeatedly when CBS 2 reporter Sabrina Franza tried to ask him if he would raise taxes to pay for the illegals that Texas is busing up there.
  6. Johnson isn’t dumb.  Probably.  He knows if he blames Biden that the DNC will cut off his air supply politically.  But, it’s the horns of a dilemma because Chicago proudly identifies as a “sanctuary city” and Illinois Governor JB Pritzker signed state legislation making it the most welcoming state to migrants.
  7. Fulton County Georgia DA Fani Willis isn’t dumb either.  Probably. She spoke in church(why not) yesterday after allegations surfaced that she paid her lover and third-party lawyer nearly a million bucks to prosecute Trump on 16 charges including violations of Georgia’s Racketeer Influenced and Corrupt Organizations Act, or RICO.  She said, “You cannot expect black women to be perfect. We need to be allowed to stumble.  We need grace.”
  8.  That leads to so many questions.  We’ll stay on higher ground and skip them all, except one.  Did Fani just play the race card?
  9.  Boeing had its doors blown off last week, literally.  Worry not though.  Boeing CEO Dave Calhoun assured nervous flyers last week that all 737 aircraft are built to the highest diversity standards.   Credit is given to where it’s due- The Babylon Bee.
  10. On a lighter note.  Did you think that the next wave of NFL QB high achievers included Trevor Lawrence, Josh Allen, and Justin Herbert?  They might need to step aside as 2nd-year vet Jordan Love and rookie CJ Stroud wowed fans this weekend.  Stroud threw for 2 more yards than Love, 274-272.  Each had three TDs, no picks, was 16 for 21, had an identical passer rating of 157.2, and led their teams into the next playoff round in upset blowout wins.  For you geeks a 158.3 rating is considered perfect.

Stay warm.

Buckle Up

Posted on by thependulumswings staff

While campaigning never really ends, the rhetoric for the general election this November began ramping up last week as 2023 turned to 2024.

President Biden returned from 17 days worth of back-to-back vacations just long enough to remind us that “Donald Trump is a real threat to our Democracy.”  Then he retreated to Delaware for the weekend.

The marketing geniuses that sold the Biden camp on “Bidenomics” thought it better to attack the presumptive opponent than to continue to yell down the well about the current state of the American economy.  Smart.

If you don’t vote for me, America as you know it will end.  More than a few old crotchety folks might welcome that.

The Donald responded by saying effectively, and effectively saying, “What else can he say, he can’t run on his accomplishments.”

You can expect to hear more, and more, and more about how bad Trump is.  Never forget J6.  Remember that he refuses to accept elections.  Remember that he was twice impeached.

Forget for a moment that Nikki Haley polls way better v Biden than Trump does.  Nikki has to win the semifinal to get to the finals.  She’s a big underdog in the semis.

If it is Trump v Biden, Trump would be well served to listen to those who would want him to stay above the bare-knuckle personal attacks and simply compare his four years to Biden’s.

It’s the old “Are you better off now than you were four years ago?” spiel.  And, since he’s been there and done that he could ask,” Are you better off now than you were five, six, seven, and eight years ago when I was in office?” as well.

The big picture is very clear and the subject matter is very dear.  The big three of the economy, the border, and foreign policy all tilt heavily Trump’s way in any poll taken.

People vote with their wallets.  Bidenomics gets smashed in polling.  Inflation in the grocery stores and interest rates at the bank are the kill shots.  Under Trump, they were quite tame regardless of why.

People overwhelmingly disagree with the sieve that the southern border has become.  Trump wanted and still wants to build the wall and deport the illegal migrants.

Unrest across the ponds to our east and west was mostly quiet from 2016 to 2020.  Now?  Ukraine, Russia, Iran, Taiwan, China, Palestine, and Israel are shouting at each other.

The contrasts are crystal clear.

So, who’s a bigger threat to our democracy?  Is it election-denier Trump?  Or is it incompetent and incoherent Biden?

It’s there for the taking if Trump stays on message and out of the mud.

Will he?  Will his ego let him?

Can he?  Will the courts let him?

The election is less than 10 months from today.

Buckle up.

 

The First 10 in 2024

Posted on by thependulumswings staff

The first Ten Piece Nuggets serving of 2024 awaits your consumption below.

  1.  Let’s not obfuscate facts.  Claudine Gay got in hot water when she stubbornly refused before Congress to denounce antisemitic speech at Harvard.   Her plagiarism problem has been lurking in the halls of Harvard for years.
  2. While she has been removed from the office of president, let’s also realize that she keeps her 900k a year professorship there.  Only in America can plagiarism be ok at the professorship level but not at the President’s level.   Wait till we rename plagiarism.  How about “work share?”  “Cooperative wording?” 
  3. The tired and incorrect finger-pointing to racism at the root of this is so predictable.  Victims. Did we already forget that the president of the University of Pennsylvania, M. Elizabeth Magill, resigned four days after she appeared before Congress and evaded the question of whether students who called for the genocide of Jews should be punished? Did we forget that Magill is white?
  4.  Has the pendulum reached its penultimate height and begun a slight descent in the opposite direction with this fiasco?  One can hope.  Diversity, Inclusion, and Equality (the acronym is DIE, not DEI, here at BBR) is a direct assault on what made America great, meritocracy.
  5.  Of course, white privilege and other word-salad nonsense will spew from this.  What if someone said black privilege is at play here?  Egads!  When do education, communication skills, honesty, and hard work make their way back into the national narrative?  There are two ways to go up.  One has a trap door, the other is sustainable.
  6.  Moving along, the hold your breath for its release of the dozens of Epstein’s court documents yesterday was pretty close to a big fat nothing burger.  Names that were already leaked predictably showed up.
  7. Of course, this was only 40 of the supposed 250 documents in all.  The still withheld documents should be released in the coming days and weeks.
  8.  Isn’t it beyond odd that the FBI raided Epstein’s Island after he died in jail?  Isn’t it odd that he died in jail?  No, and no.  The coverup, including a few redacted names yesterday, smells awful.
  9.  President Joe Biden returned to the White House on Tuesday evening after nearly three straight weeks of vacation.  He was asked, “Are you going to do something about the southern border?”  His answer?  “Well, we gotta do something.”   Sometimes simplicity is brilliance.  Sometimes it isn’t.
  10.   While you were enjoying fireworks and a hangover the national debt crossed $34 trillion.  Nancy Pelosi was carrying Biden’s water on MSNBC last evening touting his “debt reduction act.”  A beaming Chris Hayes nodded affirmatively so many times that he was mistaken for a 1970s bobblehead which is insulting to the 70s.

You might need a Tums or two.

Game On

Posted on by thependulumswings staff

Yesterday’s four-hour, OT, very enjoyable Rose Bowl game and the well-into-last evening’s Sugar Bowl thriller gave most NCAA College Football fans what they want and need.  An escape.

But, make no mistake about it.  The toothpaste is out of the tube and, as you know, it’s awfully hard to put it back in.

Conference realignments, opt-outs, transfer portal entries, expanded playoffs soon, TV money, coaching carousels, coaching buyouts, more opt-outs, and maybe most of all NIL money have transformed the game at a dizzying pace.

Three unnamed Athletic Directors in a sit-down round table interview offered some quick takes recently.    One said, “Be careful what you wish for.”    A second followed, “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.”  The third one uttered, ” The only thing constant in the game is change.  Embrace it.  Adapt to it.  Or, die from not.”

Is it possible that they are all right at the same time?  Is it probable?

Is the third one ahead of the others?  Yes.

It’s likely the new normal will be like a fine wine- an acquired taste.

Unlimited transfers through the portal are the college’s equivalent to free agency.  There’s one big difference though.

In the pros, you sign a binding contract for a specified period of years.  You give, you get.   In college you only get.  And, if the grass(read as money) looks greener at the next U, you go get it.

There’s nothing wrong with capitalism, it just reminds us that there never has been and will never be an “I” in “team.”  The reasons for that truism have multiplied.

So who’s on your team next year?  There is no static answer to that question.  It’s who’s on your team at this minute to buckle up a chin strap.  Tomorrow is a ways off, we’ll have to see.  It makes games like Army v Navy even more appealing to purists.

So, who wins?  When it comes to money, seemingly everyone does.  TV charges more to advertisers.  Then it doles out more money for big conference alignments.  Schools make more that are a part of the mega conferences.  Coaches make more.  And, with NIL the kids now get a legal bag, too.

But who consistently wins on the field?  Perhaps it will be the programs that offer the best chance at future development and convince the kids and their entourage that a long-term plan beats a short-term dash for cash.  A bunch of good 21-year-olds usually beat a bunch of good 18-year-olds.

Recruiting great players is still the path to success, but now the above-the-table cash has to be there as well.

Maybe the NCAA will strengthen the transfer rules a bit too.  How?  That’s the difficult part.  Lawsuits will challenge any restrictions from where we are today.

it’s doubtful that TV ratings will suffer.  It’s doubtful that in-person attendance will either.

But.

Fans are the one who pays for all of this(NIL indirectly as well) by watching at home or in person.

Doesn’t it feel like everyone involved wins, but the fan loses?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The 2024 Crystal Ball(part deux)

Posted on by thependulumswings staff

As we stated yesterday, 2023 is all but out of the door.

Make room, below are the fearless predictions for the back half of 2024.

If you missed them, the 2024 first-half pearls of wisdom are here.

July

Eagle Pass, TX officially renames its city “Pass Through.”  Whoopi Goldberg, the first openly black female ever named Whoopi to be the WH Press Secretary, assures reporters that the border is under control.  Palestinian protesters block the runner with the Summer Olympics 2024 torch on the Avenue Champs-Elysees.  At the All-Star break, the Atlanta Braves sport the best record in baseball at 61-31.  Gavin Newsome selects Pete Buttigieg as his VP nominee.  China invades Taiwan.

August

A refreshed and tan Joe Biden, back from a ten-day sun-baked vacation to Epstein Island, commends Newsom on his choice. “I think Pete will make a fine Nice Residential running mate.  Also, his husband will be a great second in a row First Gentleman.”  Heisman winner Jayden Daniels reports to training camp for the Arizona Cardinals.  The 2024 Democratic National Convention opens with fireworks inside Chicago’s United Center and gunfire outside during mostly peaceful protests by Palestinian supporters, BLM, Antifa, LGBTQ+, and women’s reproductive rights groups.

September

Kim Kardashian gives birth to North by Northwest Mulvaney.  Aaron Rodgers leads the New York Jets to a 4-0 record in September.  Presidential Debate number one is a circus as Donald Trump claims amongst other things that he has better hair and whiter teeth than Gavin Newsom.  Antarctica opts out of the Continents Seven.  Al Gore reminds us that he predicted way back in 1987 that the polar ice cap would break off.  Burger King seeks bankruptcy protection.

October

The State of California indites Donald Trump claiming his real estate company is at fault for the San Andreas Fault.  Former Cali AG and now VP Kamala Harris weighs in, “While premature to predict, the case has precedence and is prescient, additionally and in addition the gag order precludes the former President from preamble and pontification.”  The Seattle Mariners shock the baseball world winning the World Series in seven over the Los Angeles Dodgers.  Lebron James announces his retirement effective at the end of the 2024-25 season and will start a Dr Seuss book club.

November

Moderna receives the first vaccine approval to eradicate gas stove emissions.   Donald J. Trump becomes the 47th POTUS.  Ukraine grants Crimea to Russia the next morning.  Russia ceases fire. Hillary Rodham Clinton emails all of the mainstream media that the election was rigged and rife with Russian collusion.  The Dow Jones crosses 40,000.  The illegal immigrants crossing the southern border slow to a Biden-like walk pace.  Moderna recommends two boosters per year to halt rare breakthrough gas emissions.  Florida St misses the 12-team NCAA football playoff by one vote finishing 13th.

December

With Joe and Jill on a month-long vacation, Hunter begins filming the adult movie version of Home Alone tentatively titled Snow Day in the White House.  Trump warns Hamas of what’s coming, “It’s going to be very painful, very painful, that I can tell you.”  Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau undergoes gender reassignment surgery and now identifies as a man.  Jardiance is named the worst TV commercial ever.  The bamboo steamer finishes runner-up.  From St Lucia Joe Biden wishes everyone a “Merry Easter.”

If you’d like to see how our 2023 second-half predictions did, they are here.

We hope you enjoyed BBR in 23.  More to come in 24!

 

 

 

 

 

The 2024 Crystal Ball

Posted on by thependulumswings staff

Two thousand and twenty-three is all but out of the door.  It’s time for our fearless prognostications for 2024.

January

Shortly after the New Year’s Eve ball falls so do the Washington Huskies and the Alabama Crimson Tide.  Joe Biden holds a presser on The Capitol steps on Jan 6 calling the “Resurrection of 2021 a darker day in history than a solar elliptical.”  Steve Sarkisian calls Jim Harbaugh the best I Spy game player that he can ever remember, but admits to having a few years that he cannot remember.  Michigan runs the ball 52 times and beats Texas 30-21 for the BCS Championship.

February

NY Governor Eric Adams converts Central Park into a homeless illegal migrant camp.  Joe Biden excitedly endorses the idea by saying he “was the youngest Eagle Scout leader ever at age seven and loves camping.” Super Bowl LVIII in Vegas is all Baltimore as the Ravens bounce the Cinderella Rams 33-17.  California is hit by a climate change-driven mega bomb cyclone event.  But, the “toilet to tap” water regulation previously approved makes boiling the water unnecessary as it already tastes like $hit.

March

Dylan Mulvaney is hit with a paternity suit.  Vivek Ramswany ends his Republican Presidential nominee campaign and inks a Fox News radio show deal.   The latest COVID-19 variant named 34j.5-maskthis/ 01 hospitalizes four people nationwide, a 100% increase from February.  Purdue cruises to an 87-73 victory over Tennessee and cuts down the Final Four nets.  Karine Jean Claude Pepe Pierre steps down.

April

Biden appoints VP Kamala Harris as Central Park Czar.   LIV golfer Patrick Reed wins his second Masters.  Jim Harbaugh is his caddie.  Harvard President Claudine Gay is fired after accusations fly that her book, Fifty Shades of Black, is rife with plagiarism.  She sues claiming racism is the real cause. Los Angeles Dodger Shohei Otani tears his ACL in game three of the season and is lost for the year.  Pete Buttigieg is not hit with a paternity suit.

May

Hunter Biden puts in an unsolicited bid to buy Epstein Island.  Hunter will own 90% of it, while an unnamed associate will own the other 10%.  First Ukraine Bank will finance the deal.  The first named storm of the year, Anastasia, crashes into Hilton Head Island, SC with sustained winds of 22 miles per hour.  Damages are estimated in the hundreds.  The Texas Rangers and the Houston Astros throw brushback pitch after pitch, then bedlam ensues. The fight is dubbed “The brawl that was worse than them all.”

June

In an announcement that shocks no one, President Biden announces, “I will not see reelection to, um, to, as the Senator.  What am I saying?  To the Vice Presidency. You know what I mean.”  Amtrak sends Joe a replica engineer’s hat.  Gavin Newsom rejects NIL money from Pepsodent Toothpaste and now is running for the office of President.  The New York Yankees fire Aaron Boone and Brian Cashman.   Donald Trump picks Tulsi Gabbard as his VP running mate.  Karine Jean-Pierre, three months removed as the first black lesbian female WH press secretary, signs on as a spokesperson for Clearasil.  The tagline is “I want to be very clear here.”

To check out how our 2023 first six months predictions fared, click here.

Later this week we tackle July through December 2024.