As we stated yesterday, 2023 is all but out of the door.

Make room, below are the fearless predictions for the back half of 2024.

If you missed them, the 2024 first-half pearls of wisdom are here.

July

Eagle Pass, TX officially renames its city “Pass Through.”  Whoopi Goldberg, the first openly black female ever named Whoopi to be the WH Press Secretary, assures reporters that the border is under control.  Palestinian protesters block the runner with the Summer Olympics 2024 torch on the Avenue Champs-Elysees.  At the All-Star break, the Atlanta Braves sport the best record in baseball at 61-31.  Gavin Newsome selects Pete Buttigieg as his VP nominee.  China invades Taiwan.

August

A refreshed and tan Joe Biden, back from a ten-day sun-baked vacation to Epstein Island, commends Newsom on his choice. “I think Pete will make a fine Nice Residential running mate.  Also, his husband will be a great second in a row First Gentleman.”  Heisman winner Jayden Daniels reports to training camp for the Arizona Cardinals.  The 2024 Democratic National Convention opens with fireworks inside Chicago’s United Center and gunfire outside during mostly peaceful protests by Palestinian supporters, BLM, Antifa, LGBTQ+, and women’s reproductive rights groups.

September

Kim Kardashian gives birth to North by Northwest Mulvaney.  Aaron Rodgers leads the New York Jets to a 4-0 record in September.  Presidential Debate number one is a circus as Donald Trump claims amongst other things that he has better hair and whiter teeth than Gavin Newsom.  Antarctica opts out of the Continents Seven.  Al Gore reminds us that he predicted way back in 1987 that the polar ice cap would break off.  Burger King seeks bankruptcy protection.

October

The State of California indites Donald Trump claiming his real estate company is at fault for the San Andreas Fault.  Former Cali AG and now VP Kamala Harris weighs in, “While premature to predict, the case has precedence and is prescient, additionally and in addition the gag order precludes the former President from preamble and pontification.”  The Seattle Mariners shock the baseball world winning the World Series in seven over the Los Angeles Dodgers.  Lebron James announces his retirement effective at the end of the 2024-25 season and will start a Dr Seuss book club.

November

Moderna receives the first vaccine approval to eradicate gas stove emissions.   Donald J. Trump becomes the 47th POTUS.  Ukraine grants Crimea to Russia the next morning.  Russia ceases fire. Hillary Rodham Clinton emails all of the mainstream media that the election was rigged and rife with Russian collusion.  The Dow Jones crosses 40,000.  The illegal immigrants crossing the southern border slow to a Biden-like walk pace.  Moderna recommends two boosters per year to halt rare breakthrough gas emissions.  Florida St misses the 12-team NCAA football playoff by one vote finishing 13th.

December

With Joe and Jill on a month-long vacation, Hunter begins filming the adult movie version of Home Alone tentatively titled Snow Day in the White House.  Trump warns Hamas of what’s coming, “It’s going to be very painful, very painful, that I can tell you.”  Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau undergoes gender reassignment surgery and now identifies as a man.  Jardiance is named the worst TV commercial ever.  The bamboo steamer finishes runner-up.  From St Lucia Joe Biden wishes everyone a “Merry Easter.”

If you’d like to see how our 2023 second-half predictions did, they are here.

We hope you enjoyed BBR in 23.  More to come in 24!

Two thousand and twenty-three is all but out of the door.  It’s time for our fearless prognostications for 2024.

January

Shortly after the New Year’s Eve ball falls so do the Washington Huskies and the Alabama Crimson Tide.  Joe Biden holds a presser on The Capitol steps on Jan 6 calling the “Resurrection of 2021 a darker day in history than a solar elliptical.”  Steve Sarkisian calls Jim Harbaugh the best I Spy game player that he can ever remember, but admits to having a few years that he cannot remember.  Michigan runs the ball 52 times and beats Texas 30-21 for the BCS Championship.

February

NY Governor Eric Adams converts Central Park into a homeless illegal migrant camp.  Joe Biden excitedly endorses the idea by saying he “was the youngest Eagle Scout leader ever at age seven and loves camping.” Super Bowl LVIII in Vegas is all Baltimore as the Ravens bounce the Cinderella Rams 33-17.  California is hit by a climate change-driven mega bomb cyclone event.  But, the “toilet to tap” water regulation previously approved makes boiling the water unnecessary as it already tastes like $hit.

March

Dylan Mulvaney is hit with a paternity suit.  Vivek Ramswany ends his Republican Presidential nominee campaign and inks a Fox News radio show deal.   The latest COVID-19 variant named 34j.5-maskthis/ 01 hospitalizes four people nationwide, a 100% increase from February.  Purdue cruises to an 87-73 victory over Tennessee and cuts down the Final Four nets.  Karine Jean Claude Pepe Pierre steps down.

April

Biden appoints VP Kamala Harris as Central Park Czar.   LIV golfer Patrick Reed wins his second Masters.  Jim Harbaugh is his caddie.  Harvard President Claudine Gay is fired after accusations fly that her book, Fifty Shades of Black, is rife with plagiarism.  She sues claiming racism is the real cause. Los Angeles Dodger Shohei Otani tears his ACL in game three of the season and is lost for the year.  Pete Buttigieg is not hit with a paternity suit.

May

Hunter Biden puts in an unsolicited bid to buy Epstein Island.  Hunter will own 90% of it, while an unnamed associate will own the other 10%.  First Ukraine Bank will finance the deal.  The first named storm of the year, Anastasia, crashes into Hilton Head Island, SC with sustained winds of 22 miles per hour.  Damages are estimated in the hundreds.  The Texas Rangers and the Houston Astros throw brushback pitch after pitch, then bedlam ensues. The fight is dubbed “The brawl that was worse than them all.”

June

In an announcement that shocks no one, President Biden announces, “I will not see reelection to, um, to, as the Senator.  What am I saying?  To the Vice Presidency. You know what I mean.”  Amtrak sends Joe a replica engineer’s hat.  Gavin Newsom rejects NIL money from Pepsodent Toothpaste and now is running for the office of President.  The New York Yankees fire Aaron Boone and Brian Cashman.   Donald Trump picks Tulsi Gabbard as his VP running mate.  Karine Jean-Pierre, three months removed as the first black lesbian female WH press secretary, signs on as a spokesperson for Clearasil.  The tagline is “I want to be very clear here.”

To check out how our 2023 first six months predictions fared, click here.

Later this week we tackle July through December 2024.

The NFL New England Patriots are so bad this year that they spend little to no time in the end zone from game to game.

It’s unfortunate for a couple of reasons.  One, it’s why they stink.  But, more importantly, two, they rarely get a chance to read their own “writing” at the back of the end zone.

“END RACISM” is the message and it’s screamed in all caps to ensure you get it loud and clear.

They didn’t listen to Morgan Freeman many years ago.  He proclaimed that if you want to stop racism, stop talking about it.

Joe Biden didn’t listen.  He promised and delivered on a campaign promise to nominate the first black woman justice to the Supreme Court if he were elected.  He made sure you heard it loud and clear.  Keep telling the people they’re being held back, but you’re the solution.

Boston Mayor Michelle Wu must not have Patriots season tickets.  She drew criticism Wednesday after her aide sent a holiday party invite to all members of the Boston City Council for an “Electeds of Color Holiday Party,” even though seven of the officials are white.

“We had individual conversations with everyone so people understand that it was truly just an honest mistake that went out in typing the email field,” Wu claimed.  What’s amazing is she isn’t apologizing for being exclusive, she’s apologizing that you were mistakenly invited to an event that you weren’t invited to.

“It is my intention that we can, again, be a city that lives our values and create space for all kinds of communities to come together,” she added.  There’s nothing like a noninclusive event to create space for all kinds of communities to come together.

They must have had a lot of word salad at the event.  Per Freeman, when will it not be all kinds of communities, but one community of Americans?

Why do we seemingly talk about racism as it applies to blacks disproportionately?  Never forget, Black Lives Matter.  Is it because the other races get Freeman’s message and don’t want to talk about it?

Black City Councilor Brian Worrell held a different opinion and defended the invitation, suggesting the holiday party was merely a way to represent “all kinds of special groups” in the Boston government.

Most kinds maybe.  Some kinds for sure.  But all kinds?  Nope.

“I don’t get offended too easily,” outgoing Councilman Frank Baker, a white Democrat, told the Boston Herald. “To offend me, you’re going to have to do much more than not invite me to a party.”

Outgoing Baker wants us to stop talking about it, it seems.  Would a similar sentiment exist if the dinner tables were turned?

We wonder if Wu promised to nominate someone to replace him(assuming Frank identifies as such) with the first half-black, half-brown, illegal, disabled, binary, or nonbinary Ukrainian alien.

END RACISM.

It all started when Paul Reviere took a midnight ride in 1775.

Thirteen colonies severed their political connections with Great Britain in 1776 declaring independence.  They were unhappy with laws that collected taxes but did not give them a say in government.  It was expensive to not be heard.

Later, George Washington and his troops crossed the Delaware River and it was on.

But, it was later, much later on September 25, 1789, the First Congress of the United States proposed 12 amendments to the Constitution.  The first one protected freedom of speech and expression.

The fight for the right to speak freely allowed the winners to do just that.  And, it seems that we have been fighting amongst ourselves to determine what is free to be spoken about or expressed and what is not ever since.

What we have decided so far is that you cannot scream “fire” in a crowded theater when there is no fire.  But you can burn the very flag that Betsy Ross either did or did not sew to celebrate our freedom.  We also revise history daily, but we digress.

Fast forward nearly two hundred and fifty years and now we have what is known as “hate speech.”

The Harvard Board met Tuesday and issued the following statement.  “Our extensive deliberations affirm our confidence that President Gay is the right leader to help our community heal and to address the very serious societal issues we are facing.”

Did it all start with God creating Adam and Eve?  Or, did humans naturally evolve over the course of millions of years?  Do you believe in a superior being or do you believe in the Big Bang Theory?

Regardless of your beliefs, do you believe that the beginning of mankind was(somehow) a singular event? You would be hard-pressed to explain it otherwise.

Therefore, weren’t the first and by extension aren’t all humans created equal?  The authors of this nation’s Declaration of Independence thought so.

“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness.”

There it is. It’s the preamble to the declaration.  By definition, it is the very basis for what follows.

Abraham Lincoln called it “a rebuke and a stumbling block to tyranny and oppression.”

If you’re on board so far, this leads to a fundamental question.  Who on this earth has any right whatsoever to take the life of another?

Isn’t the answer absolutely no one?  No.  It isn’t.  But, it’s close.

The right to defend yourself, your family, your home, or your country when there is a very real threat to your existence is justified.

Some say this is where it gets a bit grey.  Maybe it is an ever so tiny, tiny, bit grey.  But that is painting with a tiny, tiny brush.  The broad strokes are very clear.

al Qaeda flew planes into the Twin Towers, and the Pentagon, and wanted to hit the White House.  There is ISIS.  The Taliban.  Hamas was formed in 1987 and has been murdering ever since.  Terrorist groups all.

There are(were) many other groups, unfortunately as well.

Nazis.  Mafia.  KKK.  Street gangs.  Drug Cartels.

There are individuals.

Serial Killers.  Vigilanties.  Domestic abusers.  Armed robbers.  Rapists.  Road Ragers.  Jilted lovers.

Ending another’s life without justifiable provocation has gone on since life began.  The human mind can be a very dark and weak space.  You would think that mentally pulling the trigger would be far tougher than physically doing so.  You would hope.

There is a very fine line between civility and incivility.

But, you have no right to take another’s most basic right.  That’s the right to live.

If you believe in an eye for an eye, the punishment for crossing the line should be swift and severe.

If you don’t what is the solution?

We’ve been searching for it since the beginning of mankind.