No Spring Chicken, But Still Pleased as Punch

Posted on March 15, 2019March 15, 2019 by thependulumswings staff

Yesterday one of our esteemed writers turned a, in his mind, very young 59 years of age. An early morning workout gave way to some reading. Time of the essence allowed for only 12 holes of golf as a fun dinner with family awaited. And indeed the day was enjoyable. When asked about the day he said that he was as pleased as punch with how it went. However, while pleased as punch sounds good, it comes from a macabre origin. Its meaning is derived from the bizarre really.

Meaning: To be very happy
History: A 17th century puppet show for adults called Punch and Judy featured a puppet named Punch who almost always hurt people. The act of killing or hitting characters with his stick (know as a slapstick) brought him pleasure, so he felt pleased with himself afterwards. Later the show morphed into a lighter, more children’s friendly event, and Punch’s character thankfully became a friendly one.

As one ages either gracefully or not so gracefully(like the beast known as Punch) into the fall season of their lives, their existence is sometimes referred to as being “no spring chicken.” This seems less than flattering. Savvy New England chicken buyers agree.

Meaning: Someone who is past his prime
History: New England chicken farmers generally sold chickens in the spring, so the chickens born in the springtime yielded better earnings than the chickens that survived the winter. Sometimes, farmers tried to sell old birds for the price of a new spring chicken. Clever buyers complained that the fowl was “no spring chicken,” and the term came to represent anyone past their prime.

While you may not be as pleased as punch to be looked at as no spring chicken, remember, “age is only a number.” So says some wise owls.

We wonder why the bigger the birthday number the more likely it’s referred to as only a number? Actually, we don’t wonder. We know.

The day is young. It’s time to get after it.

Quote the Raven “Speed Kills”

Posted on March 14, 2019March 14, 2019 by thependulumswings staff

The month ago NFL trade of eleven year veteran, Baltimore Raven Joe Flacco to the Denver Broncos became official yesterday as the new fiscal year of the NFL began. There were several other trades and a bevy of free agents signing. To say the pace of play was fast would be understating it all.

Lamar Jackson, the 2018 first round pick and late year starter for the Ravens, was the beneficiary of the trade as the deck was cleared for him to take the full-time starting quarterback position. The Ravens’ brass hopes that he will be the franchise’s next, well, franchise quarterback. To say the pace of LJ’s 2018 on field play was fast would be understating it as well.

However, to say his Mercedes-Benz pace was 105 mph on Tuesday would be exactly accurate. Like a stop watch at the combine, Lamar provided video proof of his fast driving. He decided to video the needle on 105 and post it on Instagram complete with the no seat belt dash-board indicator on as well as his tapping on the steering wheel to the selected tune of his choice.

On Wednesday the 22-year-old tweeted out an apology saying that “he had made a bad decision.” We wonder if the bad decision was driving 105 mph, the unhinged seat belt, the phone recording while driving, or the world-wide web post of it all.

Some surely see this as a problem. We see this as an opportunity for Lamar, his agent, and the Ravens however. Commercial gain from endorsements, advertisements, or public service announcements can come from this. Some awesome, and some not as awesome, possibilities follow.

The Raven’s film Lamar getting in the car, buckling up, and driving exactly the posted speed. Lamar looks into the close up of the camera and quote the Raven “nevermore.” A CLIO award awaits.
A video of Lamar’s pure on field speed and elusiveness running in to the endzone for a touchdown fades to a dated video of his 105 mph dash. The camera cuts to Lamar who states that “speed on the field and off the field kills. I only speed on grass these days.” This one is tricky due to the potential dual interpretation of the word “grass” however.
Adidas has Lamar under contract. They could film him running in his three stripe cleats and have him say “the only thing faster than me in my car is me in my adi kicks.” Ok, ok, this one needs some work. But, impossible is nothing.
Mercedes-Benz could film him calmly walking out of the airport from his arrival gate spliced with OJ Simpson’s Hertz commercial running through the airport 30 years ago. The tag line could be “why run and rent when you can Benz and speed?” Ok, ok this one needs work too. But, how about those rental choices from Hertz in 1978? Fairmont, Mustang, or LTD anyone?
Lamar could go rogue and video himself going 105 the next time he so chooses, and seat belt be damned again. He could turn the smart phone on to himself and say to the average Joe, “don’t give me any Flaccover this!” Ah, these kids these days. Instant Instagram fortune awaits.

We’ll be back after these words from our fine sponsors.

It’s March Madness and SWA is Flying

Posted on March 13, 2019 by thependulumswings staff

Southwest Airlines ran the popular ad campaign “Need to Get Away for a While?” for several successful years. In the ads paid actors would say or do something, usually in a business, meeting, or social environment that would cause the room to collectively pause and wonder “did that just happen?”

Yesterday we learned that an often paid actor, Felicity Huffman, paid her way around the college entrance process to get one of her children into a school of higher education that they otherwise would not have qualified for. Huffman, one of the housewife character actors of Desperate Housewives fame, was a desperate mom it seems. She wasn’t alone in this scheme that was exposed, not by a long shot. SWA has non stops from LAX to nearly anywhere.

It amazes us how often big time personalities, either by hook or crook, fall flat on their face. Did that just happen?

Totally unrelated, it was only Monday when the NFL network had a get away moment. Charley Casserly, former longtime NFL GM for the Redskins and the Texans, is a “front office/GM expert” for the network. The NFL Network rolls old Charley out when they need the “why” answered after the “what” has occurred. Charley was asked why the Cowboys didn’t get the ball to effective wide receiver Cole Beasley more last year. His answer is right here. “The Cowboys threw the ball to Dez Bryant too much last year.” The only problem with the answer is that Dez Bryant didn’t play one snap for Dallas in 2018, not one. The former star was cut last summer. Southwest has some great fares to The Bahamas right now.

A few years back during the TBS portion of the NCAA March Madness telecast Charles Barkley called Duke star Justise Winslow’s name just a bit wrong. He called him Winston Justice and knew no differently. But to one up himself a couple of years later he was asked why a certain NCAA Final 64 team (the name escapes us) trailed another at halftime. He noted that team’s star player needed to pick up his game in the second half. The only problem was that said star player had missed this game and the prior two months due to injury. What might Sir Charles have in store for us this year?

Barkley is paid to be Barkley. He is quite good at it. Casserly is paid to be an expert. He is quite bad at it. And Huffman illegally paid and/or bribed and/or cheated to get her child in college. That’s the worst of it.

Given the Madness, it must be March. Southwest Airlines flight 123 now boarding.

And the Pendulum Swung

Posted on March 12, 2019March 12, 2019 by thependulumswings staff

Sixth grade science teaches us that a pendulum can only swing so far in one direction. It’s momentum is slowed, then eventually halted, by its center of gravity and gravity itself. That wise professor Nancy Pelosi gave several freshman Democrats a refresher course in just how that pendulum “thing” works yesterday.

Just six weeks or so after hugs and smiles and poses for group pictures had the Democrat freshman representatives positively giddy about a progressive future without greenhouse gasses and that gas-bag Donald Trump guy able to get in the way, Nancy became the center of gravity. And, suddenly the swing to the left met gravity.

Alexandria Octavio Cortez (AOC) has The Green New Deal and dozens of other far left newbies had the pitchforks and lanterns. The hunt for green October and the head (figuratively) of Donald Trump was on.

Nancy cleared her throat and in her best Lee Corso voice, pencil in hand, said “not so fast my friends on the left.” That’s right. It took a left coast, left leaning liberal to slow the roast. She said, “I’m not for impeachment. Impeachment is so divisive to the country that unless there’s something so compelling and overwhelming and bipartisan, I don’t think we should go down that path, because it divides the country. And he’s just not worth it.” And just like that the old guard put the new guard in place all the while taking a cheap shot at The Donald.

And just like that the old guard put the new guard in place in 2014. Then it was John Boehner, who took the gavel from Nancy, and Mitch McConnell who relegated the Tea Party incoming revolution to the last row of the Senate and House floors. Marco Rubio, Ted Cruz and a band of brothers had the music momentum stopped. These upstarts had gone just far enough. Rhinos forever! And just like that the darn center of gravity, like Father Time, remained undefeated. The pendulum headed back towards the middle.

So, where to from here? AOC and her nearly 60 new Democrat friends feel empowered by the progressive wave that retook the house. Surely they can push the Green New Deal. Cost might be a problem though. Estimates to actually act on its merits range from 40 trillion to nearly 100 trillion, or between 8 and 25 times the yearly ~~federal revenues~~ tax dollars received.

The cost of a Chick-fil-A meal is far less than that. Sarah Palin left an aforementioned Tea Party rally in 2013 and proudly bought a couple of no. 1 value meals. It made international headlines as a show of support for the conservative christian right led Tea Party and the conservative christian right leadership of Chick-fil-A. The restaurant chain was under fire then because they closed (and still do) on Sundays. Heathens demand that the right give them the right to chicken seven days a week.

Support came to the left led Green New Deal yesterday when noted nutritionist, right coast NY Mayor Bill de Blasio proudly announced that soon NY public school lunches would enact, drum roll please, “meatless Mondays.” Surely this will be a great first step in reducing those pesky emissions all the while helping our young eat healthier. Government sure knows how to look out for its tired and its poor who know no better.

Perhaps the long running,successful, cow survival campaign by ChickFilA is now dated. In place of “Eat Mor Chikin” sparing cows it could be “Eat Mor Letus.” You would save (not kill) two animals with one slogan. PETA would be so proud.

Speaking of “Letus,” let us pray that sanity returns soon.

Or, it returns at least before the cows come home.

Ten Piece Nuggets- Sports at Random

Posted on March 11, 2019March 13, 2019 by thependulumswings staff

This AM we gladly serve you our ten piece nuggets from sunny Orlando. Actually it’s only going to be a few nuggets shy of ten. One, it’s Lent. Two, the Keto diet, being all the rage, makes us want to slim down a bit. Three, we have a plane to catch back to our world headquarters in foggy, soggy, and cloudy H Town.

If we didn’t know better we might investigate who switched Portland and Houston’s spot in the continental 48.

Time ticks. Time for nuggets.

We took in some Bay Hill Arnold Palmer Invitational golf on Saturday. It’s a beautiful, well maintained, difficult track. Arnold had/has quite a thing going here.
Last year’s winner Rory McIlroy roared to within one stroke of the lead by nightfall Saturday. His 31 back nine in last year’s final round made him yesterday’s strong favorite to repeat. Plus the competitor’s resumes paled by comparison.
But, starting in the final group Sunday, Rory forgot to roar. Francisco Molinari started the day five back and won by a clear two strokes with a sizzling 64. A closer look at McIlroy when he starts the final round in the last group is eye opening. He’s only converted one of those golden chances at victory. And, he’s been there sixteen times. Rory needs a dose of Alex Baldwin’s character in Glengarry, Glen Ross. A.B.C. Always Be Closing.
The Will Wade LSU basketball mess is, well, a mess. His refusal to meet with his bosses to discuss the taped and leaked conversation with yet another basketball “handler” was the impetus to the dreaded indefinite suspension purgatory. It says here that he has coached his last game at LSU. Too bad too as he turned the worst, two years ago in the SEC, team into a first place finish.
He was the best coach for the money that LSU could buy. Unfortunately some of his players sound like they were the best Wade could buy as well. College basketball is a dirty business. Now LSU is warming the water to wash their hands of it.
So Antonio Brown, a Pittsburgh Steeler, and nearly a Buffalo Bill, is now an Oakland Raider which soon will be the Vegas Raiders. He cost the Raiders a third and fifth round pick and a lot of dough too.
Didn’t Oakland trade Amari Cooper for a first round pick midseason? So, net net they have an older drama queen wide receiver that is quite expensive and a one minus a three and a five. Sounds like Jon Gruden is spinning his wheels to us.
Expensive wide receivers don’t win championships. Value does. Like it or not, and we like it, Pittsburgh puts team ahead of individual talent. We read an analysis of the trade that spoke to the Steelers being the big loser in this. We think quite the opposite.
We aren’t big NBA fans. But. But, in the span of about nine days the Houston Rockets have beaten the Warriors, the Raptors, and the 76ers. And, two of those three were road games. That’s pretty impressive.
Meanwhile, every time we look at ESPN we get this incessant Lakers and LeBron gibberish. At least they can let the Antonio Brown story go now. Disney owns ESPN. It’s always a show about a character with them.
Ok, ok. It was ten nuggets after all. We don’t like dieting anymore than you do. And please excuse the no feature picture. Our editor is busy taking pictures with Mickey Mouse. It’s always a show about a character with him.

Jobs Data and The Past 10 Years

Posted on March 9, 2019 by thependulumswings staff

Independent Investment Management designed to protect and grow your wealth.

Friends

10 years ago today (actually March 9^th 2009) in the midst of the great financial crisis, stocks finally bottomed after a more than 50% drop in a year and a half. At that moment it was the second more than 50% drop in the stock market in less than 10 years. I had been through the crash of October 1987 (at Merrill Lynch at the time), and the dot.com bubble bursting bear market which began in early 2000, but without a doubt the financial crisis bear market of 2008 and early 2009 was the worst period of time in my 34 years in the business. It really wasn’t about the stock market in 2008, it was more about the survival of the financial system. When liquidity disappeared, stocks were the only liquid game in town, and thus were under relentless selling pressure for months. In 2000, the dot.com craze pushed stocks to unsustainable levels. The subsequent downturn was a stock market event. But, not 2008 and 2009. Stocks were reasonably priced at the time. Unfortunately real estate was not.

This daily update was born in October of 2008. In an attempt to keep lines of communication open with our clients, at a time when no one really knew what was unfolding and what the future held, we decided that the only way to keep everyone informed and up to date on a daily basis was with an email. It would be impossible to talk to everyone every day, so this was our alternative. Well, as we found out, it became a comfort to our clients to hear from us each and every day, and though we didn’t necessarily have any answers, at least we kept them informed about what was going on. And, there was a lot going on. The Fed, Congress and the President all were grasping for answers, but solutions seemed difficult to agree upon. In the end, we got through it all and the S&P 500 is now more than 4 times higher than it was on March 9, 2009. Along the way, our clients seemed to enjoy the daily updates even when we weren’t in time of crisis, and thus I still try to write an update every day. I hope you continue to enjoy them.

As for today, stocks slumped after a surprisingly weak jobs number, but recovered most of those losses in the last hour of trading. Sure, the unemployment rate fell to 3.8% and wages continue to climb, but 20,000 new jobs was way lower than expected. Again, January’s number was way higher than expected, so averaged out the numbers seem about right.

For the day, the Dow Jones Industrial Average was down 23 points to close at 25,450. The S&P 500 was down 5 points to finish the day at 2,743. Gold was up $13 to trade at $1,300 per ounce, while oil was down $.57 to trade at $56.09 per barrel WTI.

We’ll leave it there for today. Let’s see what next week has in store for us.

Have a great weekend everyone.

Jim

10200 Grogan’s Mill Road, Suite 340
The Woodlands, TX 77380
(281) 298-2700 Phone
(877) 824-4299 Toll Free
(281) 298-2760 Fax

[email protected] www.chjwealthmanagement.com

Investment Advisory offered through Carlton, Hofferkamp & Jenks Wealth Management, LLC (“CHJ”).

*Numbers and figures sourced from the following: Bloomberg.com, CNBC.com and Finance.Yahoo.com.
The opinions voiced in this material are for general information only and are not intended to provide specific advice or recommendations for any individual. To determine which investment(s) may be appropriate for you, consult your financial advisor prior to investing. All performance referenced is historical and is no guarantee of future results. All indices are unmanaged and cannot be invested into directly.

CHJ Wealth Management,
10200 Grogan’s Mill Road,
Suite 340
The Woodlands, TX 77380

If You Are Gonna Talk the Talk

Posted on March 8, 2019 by thependulumswings staff

Last week seemed to have been filled with a bit more rancor than most. So much so that we wrote this.

After a week of too much misdirected, failed, or ill-advised passion we decided to end it on a somewhat lighter note that allows us to forget for a bit all of the above. Sports. Now that’s passion directed in the right direction 24/7. Combatants on any field, arena, or track of competition bring out the love of the game in all of us. Their actions and subsequent achievements are plenty enough to gain a sense of the love for their chosen filed of dreams. But, sometimes their passion spills over into their words as well. Below we offer to you in no particular order some inspirational quotes from some intense sport folks.

Well, today we offer you a few savage quotes. Savage quotes are like verbal daggers in your back. Except, in the often heated moment of sports and its resultant aftermath, these sharp words are aimed directly at the intended target’s heart. In the coming weeks we’ll bring you more as they are plentiful and never disappoint. For now, enjoy the beast mode bravado of these seven quotes below.

“But the real tragedy was that fifteen hadn’t been colored in yet.” —Steve Spurrier then head coach at South Carolina on the Auburn dorm room fire that, among other things, burned 20 books.
“I dunno, I’ve never smoked any Astro Turf.” —Tug McGraw on being asked if he preferred natural grass or artificial turf.
“Because there are no fours.” —Antoine Walker when asked why he took so many threes.
” I will eat your children.” —Mike Tyson spoke directly to Lennox Lewis in the prefight weigh in. Lewis knocked him out when they fought.
“These are my new shoes. They are good shoes. They won’t make you rich like me, they won’t make you rebound like me, and they definitely won’t make you handsome like me, they’ll only make you have shoes like me. That’s it.” — Charles Barkley on his new signature shoes.
“I’m not worried about the Sacramento Queens.” —Shaquille O’Neal responded in the heat of the 2002-2003 season when the Kings were the upstart team and suddenly popular choice to end the Lakers dominance in the west.
“All he does is talk. He’s terrible, and you can print that. I was happy when he was in the game.” —Bill Belicheck unloaded this dandy right after the 2004 Super Bowl when his secondary held Freddie Mitchell to one catch. Mitchell was running his mouth in the weeks leading up to the game about not even knowing who the NE secondary players were.

Running your mouth isn’t good. But when you can back it up, well.

As Jimmy Johnson once said, “if you gonna talk the talk, you gotta walk the walk.”

King Kong Bundy’s Last Act is a Permanent One.

Posted on March 7, 2019March 7, 2019 by thependulumswings staff

Another Mardi Gras has come and gone. Many kings of their parades were praised and glasses toasted. It’s quite the production. So, too, were quite the productions of a few blockbuster King Kong movies. But, there was only one King Kong Bundy. And, he was a production unto himself.

Christopher Alan Pallies (born in 1957) was a professional wrestler, better known by his ring name, King Kong Bundy. He is best known for his appearances in the World Wrestling Federation (WWF) in the mid-1980s till the mid-1990s. In his career zenith Bundy wrestled in the main event of WrestleMania 2 in 1986, facing Hulk Hogan in a steel cage match for the coveted WWF World Heavyweight Championship.

It’s quite the production when they add the old steel cage to insure the paid actors cannot escape from the stage on which they are getting paid for their act. It’s the ultimate extraneous prop.

He was developed by the infamous Von Erich family as “Big Daddy Bundy.” He wore blue jeans with a rope belt. After a dispute with the Von Erich family, Bundy was recruited by “Playboy” Gary Hart (not the politician) and with great fanfare was reintroduced as “King Kong Bundy.” King Kong, wore a black singlet for the first time to signify his change. This was quite a wardrobe upgrade from jeans and a rope belt.

He lost his hair during the feud, adding to his signature look. Who doesn’t go through a feud, lose their hair, get a new look, geta new name, and get a new gig in life? Oh, and don’t forget about the singlet in the slimming black color.

His acting ,er wrestling career, began in 1984 and lasted till 2007. In that span of time his character was paired with many, opposed by even more, and took several twists and turns into the turnbuckle. While he squared off against Hulk Hogan, his best schtick might have been the long running feud that he had with Andre the Giant. Andre might have been the only wrestler bigger than King Kong Bundy. Christopher Pallies, or KKB, stood six-foot four and weighed in at svelte 458 pounds, a giant in his own right if not by name.

His wrestling/acting landed him in a few “real” acting roles as well. Bundy had two guest spots, and one bit part on Married… with Children, as the creators had named the lead characters “Bundy” in honor of him. We aren’t sure which side of that should be more honored. In 1987, he played Uncle Irwin, the brother of Peggy Bundy. Lastly, in 1995, he appeared again as his day job, King Kong Bundy character. In the role he taught Bud Bundy how to wrestle if you really want to call it that.

King Kong Bundy died Sunday at the too early age of 63. He joins many, many other “professional” wrestlers who left here too soon to go to another ring in a another place. The 458 lbs might have helped to punch his quick ticket to paradise.

There have been many kings, a few King Kong’s, but only one successful production named King Kong Bundy.

A Dubious Anniversary For Stocks

Posted on March 7, 2019 by thependulumswings staff

Independent Investment Management designed to protect and grow your wealth.

Friends

Stocks continue to lose a little bit of luster as we move into March. Today’s ADP private payroll number was about as expected and estimates are for Friday’s government non-farm payroll number to show about 180,000 new jobs were created in February. But, stocks seem to be experiencing a modest buyers strike at the moment. Volatility is still somewhat muted, but the direction has had a downward slope for several days now.

By the close, the Dow Jones Industrial Average was down 133 points to finish the day at 25,673. The S&P 500 was down 18 points to close at 2,771. Gold was up $2 to trade at $1,287 per ounce, while oil was down $.34 to trade at $56.22 per barrel WTI.

As we have mentioned, it’s not a bad thing that we would take a pause after such a robust rally off the Christmas Eve low, but it is a little disconcerting that we can’t get decisively above the 2800 resistance mark on the S&P. By the way, today marks the 10 year anniversary of the intraday market low of 666 on the S&P 500. The market didn’t bottom on a closing basis until the 9th of March 2009, but the March 6th intraday low was such an ominous number, market participants will never quiet forget it. It’s really amazing that we’re whining about 2800 10 years later. I can tell you with serious conviction, that on March 6, 2009 the S&P 500 reaching 2800 seemed like a fairy tale. Memories.

Have a nice evening everyone.

Jim

10200 Grogan’s Mill Road, Suite 340
The Woodlands, TX 77380
(281) 298-2700 Phone
(877) 824-4299 Toll Free
(281) 298-2760 Fax

[email protected] www.chjwealthmanagement.com

Investment Advisory offered through Carlton, Hofferkamp & Jenks Wealth Management, LLC (“CHJ”).

CHJ Wealth Management,
10200 Grogan’s Mill Road,
Suite 340
The Woodlands, TX 77380

Cromartie Goes AWOL in NOLA.

Posted on March 5, 2019March 6, 2019 by thependulumswings staff

With less than one day to go till the Lenten Season begins, BBR asked Antonio Cromartie to take in the sights, sounds, and decadence of NOLA on Mardi Gras Day and give us a look at it though his eyes. Predictably, and unfortunately, ole Antonio headed head first into the merriment and hasn’t reported back like any good reporter would. Our guess is that he’ll be swallowed by the swale and swill of it all for quite sometime. So much for pending Lenten promises.

We dialed up emergency relief help to show us the story. The BBR staff came to the rescue. Below are several photos of the French Quarter scene on a picture perfect Fat Tuesday. Iphones take great pictures, but if you are looking at the post on one give the big file a moment to load. Regardless, here are eighteen photos and a very brief explanation/title to act as your tour guide. Enjoy. Enjoy, but not to the Cromartie level of enjoy, please.

Mardi Gras is much safer than you might think. But, if you look for trouble you’ll find it.

French Quarter corner balconies are architectually very cool!

One of many, many Mardi Gras day floats.

Robert E. Lee mourns the removal of his statue at Lee Circle not too far away.

If you like old world preservation hop on a plane if you haven’t ever been.

Like Emeril, the party kicked it up a notch.

Did we mention 19th century architechture?

Jesus is looking over this debauchery in the background from the back of the St. Louis Cathedral.

If you like pina coladas and getting caught in the ………sun.

Saints fans feel like Goodell sent in clowns to do a ref’s job.

If you want these beads you’ll need to………..

The words ” totally awesome” come to mind.

The word “awesome” still is top of mind.

Bourbon St. is cleaner now than it will be come midnight.

Antonio, wherefore art thou Antonio?