Author: thependulumswings staff

Ten Piece Nuggets-CFB

Posted on by thependulumswings staff

Week 10, which ESPN called “Separation Saturday,” is complete.  We looked at it as the last chance to withdraw from a course however.  Some did while others passed with flying colors.  Below is a complete report card of the tests administered to date.  We grade them one nugget at a time.

  1.  Surely in Baton Rouge, under the lights, against a stingy Dave Aranda led LSU defense would provide Alabama their toughest test thus far this season.  Well, Alabama separated themselves from what some billed as their toughest competition to date with ease.  Tua Heisman passed and Bama ran with flying colors.  We think Alabama actually had the LSU run game playbook advanced to them for study.  The Tide gets an A+ by surgically removing LSU from the game possession by possession.  Bama is bigger, stronger, faster, and better coached than all.  Bama is a unanimous no. 1 in the AP Top 25 released yesterday.
  2.  Clemson felt like it was getting ignored in this teacher’s pet conversation over these last few weeks.  No more.  They put a very salty 77 points on now lowly Louisville.  That’s 63,41,59, and now 77 against ACC foes in the last four weeks.  Trevor Lawrence makes one remember Deshaun Watson’s work in the orange uni’s. Give the Tigers an A and a clear no 2 ranking.
  3. Notre Dame and Michigan are nos. 3 and 4 respectively.  Their week one encounter, won by ND, is all that separates these two.  ND beat Northwestern by 10 and gets an A for their 9-0 results thus far, but a B for style points.  Michigan meanwhile is charging ahead.  Their D (not grade) is the best in college football except for the one from Tuscaloosa.  Taking apart a talented Penn St. team 42-7 in the Big House earns the Wolverines an A in the class so far.  They have THE has a final regular season exam looming in Columbus on 11/24.
  4. Georgia went to Kentucky and excelled for four quarters.  The 34-17 win in the Bluegrass State was impressive as the Kentucky defense was unyielding all season till Saturday.  The Bulldogs ran and ran and ran.  Georgia will win the East and earns a B to date and a no. 5 AP rank.
  5. Joining Georgia in the top 10 with one loss is Oklahoma, West Virginia, THE, and Washington St. (LSU is no 9 with two losses).  Each of these students excel in one area but lack discipline in another.  Oklahoma gets an A for O and a D for D.  West Virginia wants to earn an invite to the honors section, but gets a C for D.  THE almost looks like they want to withdraw from school.  All isn’t right in Columbus.  We suspect Professor Urban Meyer is struggling getting through to his students.  The aforementioned Michigan final exam will be tough.  Washington St. wants a pat on the head for work well done to date, but we think their course load(schedule) has a few too many blow off classes(teams).  They haven’t played a ranked team.  And, their 19-13 win over the Nuts from Berkeley puts a few red correction marks on their term paper.
  6. Syracuse rose nine places in the rankings to 13th.  The Orangemen slept in just a bit for their Wake Forest test.   But, once they settled into the exam they scored early, often, and well.  With two losses they have no path to any final four contests, but we wonder if this student is blossoming right before our eyes.  Next year perhaps?  Give them a B for now.
  7.  The Texas Longhorns have three losses and are somehow ranked 15th.  Their head coach, one Tom Herman, is proving to be the clASS clown.  Tom should spend more time coaching a defense that doesn’t slow down good teams and less time whining about things he cannot control.  Several teams ranked below them would be and should be favored over them in Vegas.  Give the team a C+ so far and Tommy Boy a D- in conduct.
  8.  Washington has three losses and a #20 rank.  They are disappointed in themselves.  Wisconsin is another national brand that has underachieved and is relegated to the “others receiving votes” section of the class.  Florida St., at 4-5, has no wins over anyone worth mentioning and is in year two of a cliff dive from prominence.
  9. But the dunce’s cap goes to the man who needed a neck brace a few years ago.  The cap fits squarely on the head of the man in charge of the once high-flying Louisville.   We wonder if Bobby Petrino will get to answer the roll call next year?  Louisville is 2-7 overall, and 0-6 in the ACC.  If you are a Louisville fan the stench emanating from Pitino and Petrino over the last 12 months must make your nostrils burn.  Give Motorcycle Bob an F- if there is such a grade.
  10. Some early lines are out.  Bama is minus a whopping 25.5 hosting Mississippi St.  Vegas cannot get the lines high enough on Bama.  Clemson travels to Boston College as a big 17 point favorite.  Tennessee is a live home dog +3.5 entertaining Kentucky.  Washington St travels to the four losses in a row Colorado Buffaloes as a 4.5 point fav.  And Wisconsin is an 8 point road dog in Happy Valley v Penn St.  One of those two teams will fall further in the loss column than expected before the year began.

Till Saturday.

Abby Roux Takes Down Vegas Part VI.

Posted on by thependulumswings staff

Last weekend’s games didn’t pan out too well for Abby.  It wasn’t a complete washout like the top 25 teams that played did.  More teams (11) ranked in the top 25 lost last week than any other since 1989, and four of them were idle.  Abby wagered a meager 10 bones wary of the pre Halloween money goblins.  She was able to bury only three of them.  Her hunch bet paid again though.

Her season to date performance is 10 up and 10 down in the won/loss column, 31 of 57 bones in the more important money column, and a gaudy 4-1 on hunches.  Week ten is here and as the calendar turns to November the CFB stakes are high.  Abby’s research has her barking confidently about a few games below.

 Tony the Landshark.  Go figure.

South Carolina even at Mississippi -Ole Miss isn’t playing for anything as their past recruiting indiscretions leaves them bowl ineligible.  South Carolina is trying to get to six wins eventually to become bowl eligible.  Meanwhile, Ole Miss is trying to decide on a mascot.  Tony the Landshark supplanted Rebel the Black Bear this year which had supplanted Colonel Reb who retired in 2003.  Abby expects the Gamecocks to make just enough defensive stops.  Two bones.

Iowa +3 at Purdue -The Boilermakers have had a great run.  They crowning achievement was the beat down of THE.  However, drinking too many Boilermakers post game left them hung over for Michigan St. and it showed.  Abby expects a 60 minute dogfight. But in the end she thinks Iowa is the slightly better team.  Two bones.

Arizona -3 v Colorado – Three weeks ago Colorado was undefeated.   After Saturday night Abby thinks they’ll head back to the mountains panting at 5-4.   Arizona isn’t that good of a team, and Abby wonders if Kevin Sumlin is much of a head coach.  But we suspect the offense is ready to roll.  One bone.

Penn St +10.5 at Michigan -The Wolverines are a very good team with a borderline great D.   It’s in The Big House too.  Abby wonders if Vegas is over playing this resurgence a bit.  The line seems a bit high.  Abby likes treats. One Bone.

Texas -2 v West Virginia -The Longhorns found out that being ranked sixth and actually performing like the sixth best team in the country have nothing in common.  Okie St. dropped 60 minutes of reality on them.  We think that they might be smarting from spending the week reading about how go they are (were).  WVa is much better at home than on the road.  Two bones.

Northwestern +9.5 v Notre Dame -Northwestern has won 12 of their last 13 BIG 10 contests.  Impressive.  Yet in week three they lost to Akron.  Jeez.   They won’t win this one, but Abby likes the points to cover.  Two bones.

Florida -6 v Missouri – Missouri forgot to play the fourth quarter v Kentucky last week, losing 15-14 after leading 14-3 in Columbia entering the fourth quarter.  They travel to Gainesville to face a Florida team that Georgia smacked around. Abby thinks that an angry Gator that bares his teeth is nothing to sniff at.   It might get ugly.  Chomp. Chomp.  Three bones.

Georgia -8.5 at Kentucky – This line started at minus 12 and has been bet down three and a half points in four days.   Abby likes to zig when others zag.  Kentucky has played well all year and rallied hard at the wire to beat Mizzou as detailed above.  The Wildcat’s D is legit having surrendered only 10.5 points on average in six SEC slugfests.  This game likely determines the East in the SEC.  Georgia just has too much firepower and covers in the fourth quarter. Three bones.

On a hunch take under 54 in Baton Rouge.  LSU v Bama has been a defensive fist fight for the last several years.  Since 2001 they have combined to go over 54 just twice.   Tua Heisman might change that, but if LSU is going to stay close they won’t do it by outscoring Bama.

There you are.  Abby puts a season high 16 bones on the table spread over eight games.  Being the unbiased, impartial, doggone good journalist that she is, she won’t end this post by howling GEAUX TIGERS!

Woof!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I’ve Got Another Story, and a Moral Thereof.

Posted on by thependulumswings staff

In the spring of 1983 I was 23 years old, one year out of college, clean-shaven after my bearded line up episode, and one year into the work world.  I knew so much.  I knew so little.  The south Louisiana outside sales territory that I gleefully covered was growing nicely.  Selling Duracell batteries to 23 different classes of trade offered a great work education, modest money(though it seemed like a lot then), and a bit of freedom and fun.  Some days beckoned to bring more freedom and fun than others.

On a particularly sunny Friday I decided that a half day of work and a half day of play was just what was needed to begin my decadent slide into the weekend.  But, as I went from one sales call to the next in the early AM one hour outside of New Orleans, I wondered what the half day play part of the equation should be.

Around the near turn they go at the old Fair Grounds.

I stopped to get a newspaper and a soda.  As I read the sports page the proverbial light bulb turned on.  My favorite over raced racehorse was running in the second race at the oldest race track in America, the New Orleans Fair Grounds.  Post time for race one was 1:15.

As thoughts of beers, cigars, horses, and gambling swirled through my head I knew that I needed an accomplice to share the winnings, swill, and smoke.  Hmm.  The pay phone swallowed my dime and the call went out.  On the other side of the line was one Joseph Roy Miller, aka Joey, aka Jojo.  Joey and I were high school buddies prior, four-year college roommates then, and are best friends to this day.

Ring. Ring.  Joey was finishing his studies at University of New Orleans at that point.  After school he worked at a laboratory to pay for it as well.  “JoJo, Dump Truck is running in the second race today.  He’s always in the money. I’ll pick you up in front of the Life Sciences building in an hour.”  “No, No!” said JoJo.  “I’ve got a Microbiology class at noon and have to work after that.”

Anyone in sales knows that “no” means “yes.”  “I’ll pick you up by 12:30 latest,” I said as I hung up the phone before he could respond.  There were but two problems with this.  And, they soon reared their ugly heads.  The first was that my last appointment of the morning, day, and week wanted to talk too much and buy too little.   I was now late.  The second problem is that I had no way of alerting Joseph of the tardiness.  Cell phones, like Al Gore’s internet, were not yet invented.

The company car, a beauty of an olive-green Chevy Malibu, rolled onto campus.  There stood furious Joey.  “Get in, we are going to be late,” I offered in a self depreciating attempt to defuse the fuse.  He said a few PG-13 or worse things back to me.  It sounded like he didn’t appreciate standing there while missing class and also calling in sick for work, only for me to be 30 minutes late.

I attempted to shift the conversation to the ponies and the day.  “I’ll get the parking, the programs, the tip sheets, and the first cold Dixie beers.” “Big deal,” he smashed back.  “We are going to miss the second race too.”  “We’ll still make it,” I confidently responded.   The Malibu may have run through a few orange (somewhere between yellow and red) lights getting there.  Once parked we race-walked to the bowels of the grandstand.  He was still filling my ear with hatred.  The more he howled the more I laughed.  “Two programs please.”  “Ah, Dump Truck is the five horse today.”

With the first race long gone, we heard the track announcer loud and clear as we stepped through the turnstile. “The horses have reached the starting gate.”  Jeez.  This is a last call of sorts for placing bets.  One quick glance at the lines and we knew getting down on Dump Truck would be dicey.  I jumped in one line, and he in the very next.  I got to the window and wagered a huge, for then, $10/10/10 win, place and show bet on the 5 horse.  “They’re all in line.”  That means “and they’re off” is soon to follow.  Joseph got his w/p/s bet ticket a scant few seconds before the ring, signaling the gate opening, echoed across the grounds.

We hustled outside and joined the rail birds track side.  It was a dollar to gain entry to stand.  It was two bucks to sit in the outdoor grandstand.  It was a steep three dollars to sit inside.  We stood.

The race announcer chirped about the horse’s positions as they roared past us at the start.  Nary a mention of the old and over worked Dump Truck was heard.  We saw the five on the jockey’s silks trailing the field.  The race is long we said.   He’ll make up ground we assured each other.  He continued to languish in dead last at each quarter pole.

As they turned for home on the longest stretch run in America the five horse was saving so much ground we couldn’t even see him.  The announcer clearly had given up on him too.  Still no mention of the old boy.  “And down the stretch they come,” he bellowed.  And there suddenly, like a Phoenix rising from the ashes, was the five climbing past his competition one by one.   “A sixteenth of a mile to go.”  We were hopeful.  The five blew past the second place horse as it cruised by us and hit the wire.  “WINNER, the five.”

As we waited for the tote board to make it official we high-fived in joy.  We also wondered aloud how he came from nowhere, won the race, and yet we never heard his name.  It was weird, fun, and soon to be financially rewarding we hoped.

“The results of the third race are official.  The winner is the five horse, Royal Flush.”  Royal Flush pays $12 to win(on a two dollar bet).”  Royal Flush?  Royal Flush???  We looked at each other and pulled the bet tickets from our pockets.

And there it was.  We had missed the second race.  We had raced in to bet what we thought was the second race.  It was, however, the third race that we had blindly bet on.  We won.  We won over $120 each!  Huge!  We bet the five horse in the third race and had no idea about his chances.  Dump Truck had gone off in the second.  Dump Truck was hosed down and back in the barn eating some hay 20 minutes before we bounced blindly to the betting booth.

“As we cashed our tickets laughing out loud before LOL was even LOL, we went over to the board where the previous race finishes were posted.  And, there it was.  Dump Truck finished a distant fourth, and out of the money, in the second race.  I mentioned to Joey it was obviously better to be late than never.  He mentioned to me that my arm was going to hurt after he punched me.  “Want another Dixie, Joey?”  Cigars never tasted nor smelled better than they did on that afternoon.

What’s the moral of the story?  Easy.  It’s better to be lucky later than good never.  And, it’s fun to have great memories with a great friend.

 

 

 

 

Lefty and Shorty Take Dead Aim at the Gun Debate

Posted on by thependulumswings staff

Way way back in 1964, or 5, or 6 I frequently made a Sunday PM trip to the Gulf Gas Station a couple of miles from our house.  I did not know it then, but it was on that road and back that my father (Boom Boom) began teaching his lessons of life to me.

Lefty and Shorty were the amiable service station attendants.  Well, that’s what they were called back then as every pump was full serve. Sunday’s were slow.  We had their full attention.   Dad interacted with them as they checked the oil, washed the windshield, pumped the gas, and took the money.  He tipped them as well.  They were the main characters in the first lesson I learned.  They were funny. They always had a back and forth to their banter.  And, they always had a kind word or three for me.

I’m gallantly attempting to write my first book.  Lefty and Shorty “star” in the first chapter.  What was the first lesson?  Sorry, you ‘ll have to wait for the book (my publicist, if I had one, would be SO proud).

If Lefty and Shorty were alive today their exchange based on recent events and subsequent headlines might go something like the below.

Lefty -All of these mass shootings need to stop.  The Pittsburgh synagogue is just the latest.  Shorty -How are you going to do that?  Lefty -Eliminate automatic weapons, like AK 47’s.  Shorty -AK 47’s aren’t automatic, they are semiautomatic.  And how would you eliminate them?  Lefty – Stop selling them. Shorty – The sale of them in the US has been illegal since 1986 legislation which attempted to put more teeth into the 1968 Gun Control Act.  Lefty -Then stop selling all assault type rifles.  Shorty -If you stopped selling ALL guns legally today there would be about 330 million in the US alone, or about one for every living American. Lefty -Then we should require background checks to be for an extended period of time before anyone can buy a gun.  Shorty – So if I buy a gun today I wait seven or more days, not four, to be cleared?  Lefty – Exactly.  Shorty – So if I buy it three days earlier than previously planned I can get it cleared the same time as I do today.  Lefty – Well then, since you know it all, what is the answer?  Shorty – Isn’t the problem that people just kill other people far too easily regardless of the weapon?  People kill with their hands, knives, blunt instruments, handguns, rifles, and semiautomatics.  Lefty -Go on.  Shorty -It’s like the war on drugs Lefty.  People only stop doing drugs when they want to stop.  Guns don’t kill people, people kill people.  Lefty – And?  Shorty -There are hundreds of millions of people who own guns, safely store guns, hunt, shoot at targets, and have them at the ready for safety reasons.  Lefty – Here goes the 2nd Amendment hide behind speech.  Shorty – It’s not a hide behind.  It’s an original amendment in the Bill of Rights.  Lefty – That was 250 years ago and was designed originally to provide protection from an overbearing or oppressive government.  Shorty -So because of the expressed original intent you don’t think the need is there anymore?  Lefty – No.  Shorty– Don’t you and your left leaning friends worry about President Trump and his “instability” as the head of the most powerful nation in the world?  Lefty – Yes.  Shorty – Then you should go buy a gun even if it takes seven days to clear, cannot be automatic, and does not have a buttstock. It’s your right you know.  Lefty-I’m going to fix a flat tire.

Ten Piece Nuggets-CFB

Posted on by thependulumswings staff

In last week’s Ten Piece serving we almost labeled this past Saturday “Separation Saturday.”  We are glad we didn’t.  As it turns out we should have called it “Upset Saturday,” or “Set Up Saturday.”    Eleven of the ranked AP Top 25 teams lost which created no separation.  Eleven is the most since 2006.  Those outcomes set up this coming Saturday to be the most intriguing day this season.  Week ten is upon us and we offer Ten Nuggets to satisfy your CFB hunger below.

  1.  The top five teams had a boring Saturday actually.  Number one Alabama, and nos. 4 and 5 LSU and Michigan had the weekend off.  No. 2 Clemson turned Florida St. inside out 49-10 while no. 3 ND paid only marginal respect to our beloved Navy.  Willie Taggart, HC of the Seminoles, called out his team post game feeling like some of them had quit.  We quibble, but we think that it was more than some.
  2. Georgia pulled away in the second half of the (don’t call it) Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party soundly beating Florida 36-17.  The score almost matched the 36-16 beating LSU administered two weeks ago.  Georgia had a week off to stew.  They looked very determined to ensure they would still play meaningful games as the calendar flips to November.  And sure enough they will, in of all places, Kentucky.
  3. The #11 Kentucky Wildcats made sure of that with an improbable last second comeback at Missouri.  The SEC East is up for grabs at 2:30 CST five days from now when Georgia rolls in.  One of the two one-loss teams will be in the captain’s seat in the SEC East by 6:00 pm.  Kentucky was 300-1 in Vegas in August to win the SEC.  It’s the first half of the CBS doubleheader.
  4. The second half of the CBS “Separation” Saturday doubleheader is a small gathering of 100k fans in Death Valley, Baton Rouge, Louisiana.  The Crimson Tide rolls in with the SEC West hanging in the balance.  LSU is an early, big, 14 point home dog.  Bama has rag dolled everything in its wake by halftime of each (non)contest that they have been in thus far.  Speaking of halftime, future first round pick and LSU middle linebacker extraordinaire Devin White gets to watch the game until then.  LSU fans have expressed overt displeasure with the targeting call that reduced him to first half spectator status.  See their anger here.
  5. Oklahoma dispatched of a different Wildcat to land at #7.  Kansas St. found out what the Sooners’ offense can do sooner than later.  A 34-7 halftime lead turned into a full on rout, 51-14.  One still has to wonder what D Oklahoma can muster as K St. isn’t having its best year under Bill Snyder, the oldest CFB coach at 78 years young.
  6.  Idle on the week UCF is stuck in idle as #9.  The turnstile above and below them in the rankings continues to make us feel that if they want to participate in a parade again this year it will need to be thrown by them, for them, and watched only by them again as no one else seems to care too much.
  7. A warm welcome to the Top 10 goes out to the Washington State Cougars who are #10.  They lead the PAC 10 North now after an impressive win at Stanford.  This comes after their impressive home win over Oregon a week ago.  Mike Leach does it his way and his way has reached the top 10.  Utah sits at #16 and a top the PAC 10 South.  Raise your hand if you predicted a possible Utes v Cougars PAC Championship game.
  8. Michigan, THE, and Penn St. well represent the Big 10 East at nos. 5,8, and 14 respectively.  Iowa is the lone rep from the west side of the conference at 19.  However, Iowa is in a three-way tie for second in that division as Northwestern sits atop.  Northwestern is what we wrote.  It’s no typo.  They are 12-1 in their last 13 Big 10 matchups.   One of the teams tied for second in the west is three loss Wisconsin.  The odds on favorite Badgers came into the season with so much hope and will end it with so much disappointment.
  9.  Nine of the 11 teams that were ranked 15-25 lost.  Seven ranked teams dropped out.  That is the most since 1989.  Jeez.  Notable among the new entries are the Syracuse Orangemen, ranked for the first time since 2001.  Also, Virginia returned after a seven-year hiatus.   Notable among the departures was first time ever, and ranked for one week only, Appalachian St.  The Mountaineers hosted a Thursday night game v. Georgia Southern.  The visitors trounced them 34-14, ending the one week run.
  10.  While seven teams dropped out, the SEC now boasts seven teams in.  The conference places teams at 1,4,6,11,13,21, and 25.  Mississippi St at 21 and Texas A&M at 25 are the only three loss ranked teams for now.
  11.  (or, Plus One) Some early lines are out.  As mentioned above Bama is a 14 point road favorite at LSU.  Can LSU’s D slow down the Tua train to The Downtown Athletic Club?  Can LSU’s O muster enough to stay close?  ND is another road favorite by 7.5 at the aforementioned Northwestern.  West Virginia is a 1.5 point road dog in Austin, TX.  Texas might still be seething from their road loss to Okie St., while West Va. is not the same team on the road.

Till Saturday.

Abby Roux Takes Down Vegas Part V.

Posted on by thependulumswings staff

Abby Roux returned to the cashier’s booth last week.  Her lethargy of two week’s ago is gone like last night’s t-bone treat.  For the CFB season she stands strong tall on four paws with a 9-7 won/loss , a 28 of 47 bones, and a 3-1 hunch record all vying for best in show.  Those results are 57%, 60%, and 75% respectively to the good side.

Speaking of the good and side, there are a few good teams sitting on the sidelines this week.  Teams that have played from early September till now without a break are panting like a dog and need a bit of kennel time.  In the AP top ten alone nos. 1,4,5,and 10 rest.  On to the picks where some games look better to her bird dog eye than others.

Stanford -3 v Washington State – The Cougars travel after a huge home party in Pullman last week.  This is a perfect spot for a letdown after they exhausted themselves leading and then outlasting Oregon.  The Cardinal hasn’t really put 60 minutes together yet.  Maybe they will Saturday.  Three bones.

Missouri -7 v Kentucky –  Abby has been chewing on this line all week.  She cannot digest it.  It makes no sense to her.  It’s almost as if the wrong team might be favored.  It’s as if Vegas is begging you to take the Wildcats.  We’ll zig and take the Tigers at home for that reason and that reason alone.  Two bones.

Virginia Tech -3 v Georgia Tech –  Abby knows better than to bet Rambling Wreck games.  It’s her version of chasing parked cars.  Sometimes lessons are learned the hard way.  If the Hokies want to play (they have been uneven this year) this is a 12 point Va Tech cover. If not, it’s another bumper right in the jowls.  One bone.

Michigan St -1/2 v. Purdue – This game is like feels like a walk in the park on a clear 55 degree day with no leash to Ms. Roux.  Purdue travels after a huge home win over THE.  Michigan St. tries to rebound from a Wolverines defensive masterpiece.   The lone flea on it is that Purdue is actually a lot better than Purdue normally is October’s end.  Abby hedges just a bit because of that.  Three bones.

Florida St +16 v Clemson, Kansas St. +24.5 at Oklahoma, and Navy + 23.5 at Notre Dame – The only thing Abby likes better than a big dog is, well, three big dogs.  This is her first exotic bet of the year.  It’s a long shot for obvious reasons.  It’s three big dogs all wrapped up in a three team parlay. She likes the Seminoles better than the Midshipmen, and she likes the Midshipmen better than the Wildcats.  Fearlessly she bundles the three.  One bone to win seven bones.

On a hunch take Mississippi St. -2 over A&M.  A&M hasn’t lost to anyone that they should not have. Jimbo is seeing to that.  We think that Miss State’s trenches are their equal.  This is a late field goal game winner at home for the wounded Bulldogs.  Tread very lightly.

Five bets with four favorites and a three dog tease have us barking with anticipation for Saturday.  It’s 10 bones wagered to win 16.

Woof!

 

 

 

 

The Art of Long Snapping is Now a Science.

Posted on by thependulumswings staff

People that really get into sports spend a lot of time talking to people who really get into sports.  Regardless of your favorite sport or sports, you often offer or are offered the following line, “Did you see the(pick one) play, kick, punt, bunt, goal, throw, hit, catch, run, shot, swing, jump, roll, fake, block, or tackle that so and so made in yesterday’s(pick one) game, match, set, event, or meet?”  It’s what sports fans do.  They live for the next greatest something and they talk about it.  Players one up players, and conversational high points one up conversational high points.

Athletes train smarter and harder than ever before.  Most focus on one sport early and attempt to master it.  Parents, coaches, trainers, nutritionists, and camps all focus on making the next generation better than the past.  In many areas this has taken good to great and great to elite.

One such area is place kicking a football.  Field goals have evolved from a hope to an almost certainty inside of forty yards over the last quarter century.  Similarly, field goal accuracy from fifty to sixty yards has improved to the point of no one being surprised when a game winner is struck from these distances.  The decade by decade percent converted improvement is geometric at all levels of competition.  This is but one example of many areas of improved expertise in athletic endeavors over time.

But one area has improved to the point of so near to perfection that we don’t even talk about it anymore.  Perhaps we don’t even see it when we look at it.  What is it?  Long snapping the football is what it is.  Think back through this year to date.  The NCAA FBS schedule is eight games in.  The NFL is seven games in.   Have you seen a bad snap on a field goal or a punt this year at either level?  Has there even been one?  Not the rain, nor the wind, nor the pressure has had even a marginal effect apparently.  This writer hasn’t seen one in person, live on tv, or on any high(low)lights.

A .43 second Google search for “long snapping” turns up thousands of potential matches.  You can watch “how to videos”(even the setup and approach prior to the snap), sign up for any number of snapping camps run by seasoned pros, or even see who has been offered a scholarship to a FBS school to snap.  Smart college coaching staffs value special teams.  Those that value special teams certainly recruit and sign a great snapper as one of their allowed 85 scholarships.

Great college snappers vie for 32 pro jobs.  Every NFL team has one excellent snapper.  That snapper makes the league minimum at a minimum.  How much is that? Well, for 2018 its $465,000 for a rookie and the scale increases gradually by years of employment.  If you are in your tenth year the min is a smooth $1,000,000.  The best of all make even more.

Long snapping might be the specialty of special teams play.  Every punt has a snap and a punt.  Every place kick has a snap, a hold, and a kick.  We watch the kicks.  We don’t even see the snaps anymore.

It’s great work if you can get it.  But shy of perfection you need not apply.

 

 

I’ve Got a Story, and a Moral Thereof.

Posted on by thependulumswings staff

This morning begins with the first of a new running feature for boomboomsroom.com that we hope and trust that you will enjoy.  It’s story telling time and provides you with this writer’s moral to boot.  Gather around friends.

On a beautiful afternoon in the spring of my junior year at LSU I had my usual one and one half hour of Business Law 3201 class staring directly at my beard covered face.  A bearded lawyer who taught the class, whose name escapes me to this day, walked in to the already assembled 75 or so person class.  As he plunked his briefcase on his desk loud enough to get the chatter to subside he uttered one loud word.  “JOHNSTON.”  Surprised that he knew anyone’s name, much less mine, I weakly answered with, “yes.”  He responded with, ” You have a beard, don’t you?  See me after class!”  The class let out a collective, “woooo.”  I spent the next 90 minutes wondering.

After class I found out that it was about nothing that I spent the previous 90 minutes wondering.  Said professor/lawyer explained to me that a lawyer friend of his had taken the case of a friend of his accused of rape.  He went on to say that there was going to be a line up that afternoon and they needed bearded guys who quasi fit the description of the bearded accused.  He asked if I would help him, his lawyer friend, and the accused.  With as much thought as most 21-year-old adults give to choices I said “sure.”

And off we went directly to the lead lawyer’s office.  At the large mahogany conference table gathered seven bearded lawyers, the accused, and one LSU student.  As I listened, and listened only, to how this allegation and charge came about it was easy to summarize that they thought that this was a rush job by the DA’s office.  It was likely driven by the accuser’s familial relationship with someone in that office.  The lineup would go a long ways towards proving that thought right or wrong.

As we drove I opened my mouth for the first time.  I asked where the line up was going to be held.  The answer was the East Baton Rouge Parish(think county) Jail.  I shouldn’t have asked.  Silence again consumed me.

Upon arrival we walked through a series of loudly closed and locked doors behind us.  We were asked to change out of our clothes and into orange prison issued jumpsuits to homogenize our look for a better lineup.  One slight problem reared it’s head shortly thereafter.  The lineup required two groups of six each.  Short three, the jailer improvised providing three prisoners to join us.  My group happened to be the one that was three shy, so the three selected detainee’s joined two lawyers and I. That added a bit to the angst.  The groups were separated with my group going second.  The six of us were placed in a holding room, without direct supervision, the size of a small bathroom.  That was yet another problem for my rising blood pressure.

The time came for us to read the words that the victim quoted to the detective that were exchanged during her terrible night of a few weeks ago for voice recognition.  Then, we were positioned behind a one way mirror for sight recognition.   This was anything but pleasant, especially for the victim.

When it was over the original nine gathered in a room to change back into the clothes that we wore prior to the orange parade.  When exiting as a group an armed jailer grabbed my arm and asked me “where do you think that you are going?”  My blood pressure peaked.  He then laughed at his own joke and motioned me forward.  I failed to see any humor.

Back at the mahogany conference table we learned that the victim didn’t pick the flimsily accused for voice nor physical recognition.  It turns out that she identified me and one other as a possible voice match while identifying an existing prisoner as a possible physical match.  This would cause the case against him to fold quickly and quietly.

The weekend came and I went home.  Mom and Boom Boom eagerly listened to my story.  My mom, ever the worry wart, worried that they might now think I did it.  Perry Mason and mom had little in common.  Inspector Clouseau and mom did.  The laughter helped the blood pressure.

Friday became Sunday night and I drove back to my dorm.  My roommate and I were watching some TV.  The screen flashed with breaking news.  A manhunt was underway outside of the jail complete with barking dogs, cops, and helicopters.  A lineup at the jail that evening included a few prisoners.  They overpowered two guards, took a civilian hostage, and made a run for it.  My blood pressure tested new highs at the sight and sounds emanating from this tiny black and white TV.

As the class and the semester ended, grades followed.   In my business law class we had three total tests and I had scored a solid “B” on each.  The report card showed an “A” in B. LAW 3201.  I smiled.  My blood pressure actually went down for once.  The prof threw me a bone.

‘The moral of the story is?’  you ask.  Don’t grow a beard!  Or, something like that.

 

 

 

Boom Boom’s Life Lessons #5

Posted on by thependulumswings staff

Do you have a sense of what you want to do today? Tomorrow?  Next week?  Next month?  Next year?

Your future starts this second.  We realize that many before us have uttered this phrase.  But, we also realize that far too many have dismissed a chance to really, really pause and reflect on its reality.

The past is truly the past.  You can admire it if you liked it. You can brag if you are unfortunately so inclined.  You can wince if you look back and realize better deeds could have been done.  Or, you can stop wasting positive or negative energy from it and realize that the only thing that you can do is learn from it.

In life as we age we gain experience.  With experience comes wisdom.  With wisdom comes opportunity.  What will you do with your opportunity?

Boom Boom often offered this thought and challenge to anyone within his wide reach, “Your best days are right in front of you.  What will you do with them?”

What is your opportunity?  Boom Boom would say, that regardless of where you are today, your opportunities are many.  He found time to volunteer, mentor, serve in his faith, garden, etc.  This was all in addition to a “day job” with a work ethic second to none.

It’s obvious to all that he lived a full and fulfilled life by sharing anything that he felt could provide a meaningful benefit to family, friends, coworkers, club members, and many others.

Maybe you can pick a path and make a difference in your own special way starting soon.  After all, “your best days are right in front of you.  What will you do with them?”