A whole flock of small rubber ducks just hit the river. And, with it, the great race for 2020 has begun. If you are watching it on TV it’s abundantly clear that the race downriver is from right to left.
The flapping, quacking, and invisible web-footed paddling is robust. It’s about 20 such newbies or not so newbies all looking for the right current to power their way to the front. What’s first prize? It’s power in the race that wins the power out of the race.
There is but one problem. By far the biggest and loudest quacker is, for now out front.
The biggest duck is none other than, ahem, Donald Duck. As we breathlessly wait for the now neutered Mueller Report (less than 24 hours away) The Donald is swimming in fresher, clearer, and not so deep nor hot water. Every opponent will have a staff member read the report and be able to find the worst moment and whale away. This will last about 24 hours. Then, reality will set in. While they have had their scope sighted on the biggest duck for two years, they’ve shot blanks thus far.
So, then, what now a mere 17 months from the election? Well, the swim to the hard left seems to be the rip tide of choice. Remember a short three months ago when Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez jumped in with the Green New Deal. It seemed like a swimmingly good far left idea at the time. Quickly, it’s been overtaken by paddling of cute orange feet even further to the left.
Good old Bernie Sanders, he of a few feathers missing on his crown, has one upped his desire for free college tuition with a proposed 52% tax take on the income rich. When asked in a Monday night town hall if he and his $562k income of a year ago were ready to ante up, he went dead left and talked about Google and Apple, and other capitalistic successes not paying any taxes. And, he called it criminal. Silly us, we thought “criminal” was doing something against the law. He said nada, or not a thing, about his willingness to go along with his own proposal.
The newest duckling, Mayor of South Bend, Indiana, Pete Buttigieg, told MSNBC’s Rachael Maddow last evening that this Electoral College thing, written into the Constitution by our founding fathers, was so yesterday. And with that he shook his tail feathers and motored past the previous left. He said, we paraphrase, that it no longer represents the true will of the United States. We wonder how his friends and family from the great state of Indiana feel about his desire to minimize their voice?
And from the left coast, Northern California Congressman and now announced candidate as well, Eric Stalwell quacked loudest of all. He declared that when elected he would push legislation to make all assault type rifles illegal. He then swam into the deep, deep left side of the river by stating that if anyone refused to surrender their guns, they would be convicted of a crime and sent to prison. To recap, he wants to make a legal part of the Second Amendment illegal and take away legally owned guns. And, then he wants to convict those certain gun owners who won’t surrender them of illegal possession. He suggested that other rifles and such only be stored in gun clubs, shooting ranges, and hunting clubs. There is a duck hunting joke in here somewhere.
Our guess is that Joe Biden, who someone labeled as Creepy Uncle Joe, is waiting at a turn in the riverbank. He is busy making sure his feathers can repel any water that his past might have taken on. If he (when he) waddled in, the river’s course splinters. With somewhat limited tact, he might find a different tack to the finish line.
With so many baby ducklings in the river, fresh air (time) and space (on the stage) to maneuver is tight. The 17 month race is on. Soon enough Mother Nature will take its course and the flock will lose members.
And the mother of all ducks for now, Donald, will vigorously attempt to pluck what’s left (did you see what we just did?).
Meanwhile the race is on and the quacking is incessant.
