Lefty and Shorty

Lefty and Shorty-WNBA, Vacation, Parade

Posted on by thependulumswings staff

Last evening Lefty and Shorty were all but ready to close the Gulf Station.   It was a clear cool night, but cars were nowhere to be found as most folks likely were home watching the MLB playoffs.  Lefty- Welcome back.  A week-long vacation is a long time.  Shorty-Thanks, I think.

Lefty sat to the left of Shorty.  Imagine that.  Shorty sat on the shorter of the two “halves” of the 55-gallon drum. Imagine that.  Each was cut down to size and retrofitted with a soft cushion top.

Lefty- Did you go anywhere?  Shorty- Phoenix, really Scottsdale.    Lefty- What was the mood with the Mercury?  Shorty- Nobody pays attention to it out there, it’s always hot.

Lefty-No, not the thermometer, the Phoenix Mercury women’s basketball team’s loss in the WNBA Finals.  Shorty- Oh, nobody pays attention to it out there either.  Lefty- Wow.  Well did you watch it?  Shorty- What?Lefty- The Chicago Sky beat the…  Shorty- The Chicago Sky?  How could I see that? I went to Phoenix.   Lefty-  I know, I know.  Did you watch the final game on TV?  Shorty- Oh. No.  I don’t think they had the Bravo Channel on the hotel TV.

Lefty- Moving along. They had a parade for the Sky yesterday.  Shorty-  How’d that go?

Lefty- It was sparely attended it seems.  Shorty- What if you threw yourself a party and no one came?  Lefty- Last week the WNBA Commissioner said that she thought the social justice stance that the league took in 2019-2020 gave them a whole new platform to reach a far greater audience.  Shorty- How’d that go?  Maybe they’re allergic to confetti?   Lefty- Whew, you must have slept well last night!

Shorty-  Did you hear the one about the WNBA and Brian Laundrie?  Lefty- I don’t want to. Shorty- Ok.  Too soon?  Lefty- Way.  Shorty- Maybe if the league offered free booster shots?  Lefty- Holy Mary Mother of God, pray for us.  Shorty– The fans in stands seem at least six feet apart, a booster might bring them together.

Lefty- Just one more question should do it.  What do you think of the Sky’s mascot?   Shorty- Sky Guy?  Lefty- Yes.  Shorty- Wrong pronouns if you ask me.  Lefty- I did.  Shorty- What?  Lefty- The best I could.

 

 

Lefty- Big Game. Shorty- YUGE game.

Posted on by thependulumswings staff

Way way back in 1966, or 1967 Lefty and Shorty were the amiable service station attendants.  Well, that’s what they were called back then as every pump was full serve.   Dad interacted with them as they checked the oil, washed the windshield, pumped the gas, and took the money.

Lefty sat to the left of Shorty.  Imagine that.  Shorty sat on the shorter of the two “halves” of the 55 gallon drum. Imagine that.  Each were cut down to size and retrofitted with a soft cushion top.

They were funny. They always had a back and forth to their banter.  If they were alive last night might have gone like this.

Lefty- It’s after midnight and it’s cold. Nobody’s buying gas at this hour.  Why are we sitting here?  Shorty- So we can discuss the upcoming “Game of the Century, Part II.”   It’s AP #1 LSU v. #2 Alabama.  Lefty- Big Game.  Shorty- YUGE game.  President Donald J. Trump will be there.  Lefty- He will be?  Shorty-  For sure.  It’s in the Deep South.  It’s Deep State v. Deep State.  It’s his base.  Plus he likes cheers, not boos when his name is announced.

Lefty- Who’s he rooting for? Shorty- All of the deplorables in attendance I guess.  He won’t be partial.  He’ll likely wear some fresh orange with a red tide.  Lefty– That’s not impartial.  You must mean a red tie?  Shorty- No, there are no ties in college football, overtimes decide winners.  And Trump likes to win, win, win.

Lefty- Good lord.  Shorty- Well, who do you think is going to win?  Lefty- Tough call, but Joe Burrow is almost automatic operating out of the shotgun.  Shorty- Burrow’s lucky Beto O’Rourke isn’t refereeing.  He promised to take all of the damn guns.

Lefty- Jesus, Mary, and Joseph.  Shorty- Nope they can’t win.  They’re the only three that haven’t announced their candidacy for the Democratic nomination.  Lefty-  Ahem.  Let’s get back to the game, can we?  Shorty- Sure.  It’s going to be standing room only and one expensive ticket.  Lefty- I bet.  Shorty-  I just saw Elizabeth Warren tweet that if she were elected President the tickets would be free.

Silence filled the cold still air as Lefty checked his pulse rate.

Lefty- Well, one more time, who do you think is going to win?  Shorty-  I don’t know.  2011 is the last time LSU won.  That’s “Four More Years!” and “Four More Years!” ago.  Lefty-  Alabama’s defense usually stifles LSU.  Shorty-  That’s cause Nick Saban spends more on his defense budget than Trump does on ours.  Lefty- I’ll play along.  What else?  Shorty-  Well a few reporters asked Joe Biden what he thought of the upcoming game.  Lefty-  Sure they did.  What did he have to say?  Shorty- Well, he said he remembered attending the LSU/Bama “Game of the Century, Part I” back in 2011 acting in his official role of Vice President.  Lefty- And?  Shorty- And, he wanted to wish both the Iowa Jayhawks and the Minnesota Wolverines great luck in Part II this Saturday night in their showdown in Tempe.

Lefty- I’m punching out before I punch you out.  Anything else?  Shorty- The teams are ranked one and two in the AP, but two and three in the College Playoff Poll.  Lefty- Who’s number one in that poll then?  Shorty-  It’s a tossup right now between Joe, Bernie, and Elizabeth.

Lefty-  This has been a dumpster fire.  Shorty- I’ll empty the trash cans before I go.

Lefty- The WNBA Final Is Tonight, Shorty- The What?

Posted on by thependulumswings staff

In my best Al Pacino voice, ” let me reintroduce you to my two little friends, Lefty and Shorty.”  It’s already been a year since they dissected the women’s sports scene.  But, first we digress a bit.

Way way back in 1965, or 6, or 7 we frequently made a Sunday PM trip to the Gulf Gas Station a couple of miles from our house.  I did not know it then, but it was on that road and back that my father (Boom Boom) began teaching his lessons of life to me.

Lefty and Shorty were the amiable service station attendants.  Well, that’s what they were called back then as every pump was full serve. Sunday’s were slow.  We had their full attention.   Dad interacted with them as they checked the oil, washed the windshield, pumped the gas, and took the money.  He often tipped them as well.  They were the main characters in the first lesson I learned.  They were funny. They always had a back and forth to their banter.  And, they always had a kind word or three.

If Lefty and Shorty were alive today their exchange may go something like this.

Lefty- The WNBA Final game is tonight.  Shorty-  The what?  Lefty- The Connecticut Sun face the Washington Mystics in a winner take all game five.  Shorty– Who?  Lefty- The series is tied two to two.  Shorty- The Astros and the Rays are tied two to two.  Winner advances.  Loser goes home.  Lefty- And that has exactly what to do with the basketball game?  Shorty– I think a lot more people are paying attention to that playoff game.  Lefty- You aren’t going to watch it?  Shorty- I am.  Gerrit Cole is on the bump for the Stros.  Lefty- NO.  The basketball game.  Shorty- Is the basketball game being played in China?  Lefty– NO. Huh? Shorty-  Good thing.  Fewer people?  Those watching the WNBA tonight or LA Dodgers fans supporting Dave Roberts decisions last night?  Lefty- I’m going to fix a flat tire.

 

You can count on Lefty and Shorty from time to time when a spirited debate is needed.

Lefty– Say bye for now Shorty.  Shorty– Bye for now Shorty.

 

 

 

 

 

Lefty and Shorty Talking Baseball, Sorta

Posted on by thependulumswings staff

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Lefty and Shorty were all but ready to close the Gulf Oil gas station last evening.  The Gulf of Mexico has spoken.  The early spring, humid, steamy air descended on the quiet evening.  Midnight neared and cars were nowhere near.  Lefty- Why on earth do we stay open this late on a Thursday night?  Shorty- So that you and I can talk sports.

Lefty sat to the left of Shorty.  Imagine that.  Shorty sat on the shorter of the two “halves” of the 55 gallon drum. Imagine that.  Each were cut down to size and retrofitted with a soft cushion top.

Lefty- Can you believe the slow start for New York, Boston, and Houston?  Shorty- Everyone knows the Knicks stink.  Lefty– What?  Shorty- But, Boston and Houston are good.  They clinched a playoff berth.  Lefty- I’m talking baseball. The season just started. All three are Vegas favorites.  Shorty- Oh.  Baseball?  Nobody cares about baseball this early.  Lefty- I care.  Shorty- Tampa is in first and nobody knows one player on their team.  Lefty- Snell.  Shorty– Smell what?  Lefty- Blake Snell, the pitcher for Tampa.  He won the Cy Young last year.  Shorty- That’s one.  Name another.  Lefty- I can’t, but isn’t it interesting that they sometimes pitch their staff backwards.  Shorty- Backwards?  That must hurt.  No wonder no one goes to their games.  Lefty- No! No!  They sometimes start their closer, and close with their starter.  Shorty- Sounds weird.

Silence fills the still night for a moment as Lefty shakes his head and tries to regroup.

Lefty- So, who is going to win the MVP race?  Shorty- Harden.  Lefty- You mean Harper?  Shorty- Harden.  Lefty- I’m still talking baseball.  Harper just got traded to the Phillies.  Shorty- Why?

Lefty-Have you heard of Abbott and Costello? Shorty- Yes.  They are Lefty and Shorty wanna be’s.  Lefty- Have you heard of Who’s on First?  Shorty- On first?  Where?  I don’t know.  Lefty- No, he’s on third.

Shorty- Be sure to lock up.  I going home to catch the Harden highlights on ESPN unless they are talking about LeBron and his groin injury.