Last evening Lefty and Shorty were all but ready to close the Gulf Station. Mosquitoes were everywhere and cars were no where to be found. Lefty- Why do we stay open until midnight? Shorty-So that you and I can discuss the NFL.
Lefty sat to the left of Shorty. Imagine that.
Shorty sat on the shorter of the two “halves” of the 55 gallon drum. Imagine that. Each were cut down to size and retrofitted with a soft cushion top.
Lefty- New England has won more games and Super Bowls than anyone else, why can’t Tom Brady and Bill Belicheck get along? Shorty-They’ve worked together for 18 years. That’s a long time. I’m tired of working with your sorry butt after ten.
Lefty-Yes, but Tom Brady is the greatest ever. Shorty- Tom Brady has had the most favorable rule changes to protect the statue of a QB that he is ever imagined. Different eras are very hard to compare. Only one thing is for certain. No one cleans windshields like us anymore, no one.
Lefty- Well Bill Belicheck doesn’t appreciate him enough. Shorty- So said my ex-wife and every wife to her husband since Y A Title completed his first forward pass.
Lefty- What rule changes? Shorty- You cannot tackle the QB anymore. He sits back fearlessly scouring the options to throw to. It’s a pass first league. It’s a mismatch WR or a Gronk TE type in space versus a DB who cannot cover. It would be like me watching you having to defend Lebron.
Lefty- Is that why so many pass interference calls are made? Shorty-Pass interference is the most punitive flag thrown. It’s worse than forgetting the oil pan when changing the oil.
Lefty-Well at least there are a few new exciting teams this year. Shorty- There are every year. The game is built like NASCAR cars. If you have a losing record in the prior year your schedule the next is easier. Your draft position is higher. You cherry picked good free agents from good teams. Everything is designed to have all cars on the last lap with a chance to win. Unless you get a nail in your tire you have a chance.
Lefty- Well wasn’t that crazy that Vontae Davis flat quit on his team and retired at halftime? Have you ever seen anything like that? Shorty-It reminds me of when we are tuning an engine together and you see the food truck pull up.
Lefty-Want to pick a game to bet against each other this week? Shorty- Sure, I’ll take DA Bears minus five over the low flying Cardinals. Lefty-Deal.
Lefty- And this time if I lose I promise to pay up. Shorty- If you don’t you’ll need to enter the NFL concussion protocol.
Lefty- See you tomorrow Shorty. Shorty- Unfortunately.
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