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Lefty and Shorty were all but ready to close the Gulf Oil gas station last evening.  The Gulf of Mexico has spoken.  The early spring, humid, steamy air descended on the quiet evening.  Midnight neared and cars were nowhere near.  Lefty- Why on earth do we stay open this late on a Thursday night?  Shorty- So that you and I can talk sports.

Lefty sat to the left of Shorty.  Imagine that.  Shorty sat on the shorter of the two “halves” of the 55 gallon drum. Imagine that.  Each were cut down to size and retrofitted with a soft cushion top.

Lefty- Can you believe the slow start for New York, Boston, and Houston?  Shorty- Everyone knows the Knicks stink.  Lefty– What?  Shorty- But, Boston and Houston are good.  They clinched a playoff berth.  Lefty- I’m talking baseball. The season just started. All three are Vegas favorites.  Shorty- Oh.  Baseball?  Nobody cares about baseball this early.  Lefty- I care.  Shorty- Tampa is in first and nobody knows one player on their team.  Lefty- Snell.  Shorty– Smell what?  Lefty- Blake Snell, the pitcher for Tampa.  He won the Cy Young last year.  Shorty- That’s one.  Name another.  Lefty- I can’t, but isn’t it interesting that they sometimes pitch their staff backwards.  Shorty- Backwards?  That must hurt.  No wonder no one goes to their games.  Lefty- No! No!  They sometimes start their closer, and close with their starter.  Shorty- Sounds weird.

Silence fills the still night for a moment as Lefty shakes his head and tries to regroup.

Lefty- So, who is going to win the MVP race?  Shorty- Harden.  Lefty- You mean Harper?  Shorty- Harden.  Lefty- I’m still talking baseball.  Harper just got traded to the Phillies.  Shorty- Why?

Lefty-Have you heard of Abbott and Costello? Shorty- Yes.  They are Lefty and Shorty wanna be’s.  Lefty- Have you heard of Who’s on First?  Shorty- On first?  Where?  I don’t know.  Lefty- No, he’s on third.

Shorty- Be sure to lock up.  I going home to catch the Harden highlights on ESPN unless they are talking about LeBron and his groin injury.