Down to Three Approaching Fourscore

It’s Super Tuesday.  It’s a super big day for Bernie Sanders, running for his party’s presidential nomination.  And, it’s a super big day for Joe Biden, too, even though he thought it was Super Thursday.

And it’s a big day for the Democratic National Committee(DNC).  Assuming the vote tally process works better in Alabama, Arkansas, California, Colorado, Maine, Massachusetts, Minnesota, North Carolina, Oklahoma, Tennessee, Texas, Utah, Vermont, and Virginia than it did in Iowa the DNC will have a much better idea of what else they need to throw at Bernie Sanders to halt the assault from the far left.

Crazy Bernie has no chance in the general election of even coming close to Donald Trump.  You know it.  Your dog knows it. And, the DNC knows it.

And, apparently, that is very bad as it sounds like our time here on terra firma is running short.   Ask Beto O’Rourke.  Last evening while endorsing Biden, Beto shrieked, “The man in the White House today poses an existential threat to this country. To our democracy. To free and fair elections. And we need somebody who can beat him. And in Joe Biden, we have that man.”   Biden embraced far-left anti-gun extremist O’Rourke during a rally on Monday night in Texas.  He declared that the failed Senate and presidential candidate was going to lead Biden’s anti-Second Amendment efforts.   At least the unemployment figures will drop by one.

Most nominee hopefuls call climate change the biggest existential threat.  Tom Steyer was a loud one of those, but no more.  He dropped out over the weekend.  If a tree falls in the forest but no one hears it, is it still climate change?  If he endorses Biden and no one hears it, is it still an endorsement?

No word yet on if Steyer will endorse Biden.  But, the others are lining up and doing their party’s work.  Pete Buttigieg dropped out just in time to try to swing his votes to Uncle Joe.  Mayor Pete endorsed Biden last night.  Biden said that he was surprised that he did that.  Maybe he was as it’s 50/50 that he knows who Pete is.  The DNC wasn’t surprised.  Pete is young and dutiful.   Promises made?

Amy Klobuchar dropped out yesterday.  Whew.  Just in time for Super Thursd, er, Tuesday as well.  She also is expected to endorse Biden today.  Amy isn’t as young as Pete but is as dutiful.

After tonight the DNC will have a better feel for how many more ducks they have to get in a row to prevent that pesky Bernie Sanders from quacking too much in mid-July in Milwaukee.

The party (after Elizabeth Warren realizes it’s over today) of inclusion and diversity will be down to 77-year-old white male Joe Biden, 78-year-old white male Bernie Sanders, and 78-year-old white male Michael Bloomberg.  All would be fourscore and more after one term.

Sanders stayed along for the ride all of the way to the convention four years ago.  It drove Hillary harder and further than the then 69-year-old wanted.  As crazy as it seems he’s riding shotgun again.  No Beto, it’s not that kind of shotgun.  The DNC is trying desperately to play traffic cop.

Meanwhile, get some more endorsements, Joe.  There’s a guy named Obama.  He might stand behind you as you did with him especially if the DNC asks with a “pretty please.”

And, get some rest.

 

Politicians and Coaches Make Strange Bedfellows

Raise your hand, as the candidates did repeatedly, if you watched the tenth of fourteen Democratic Presidential Debates last evening.   While the candidates have their philosophical differences, they unanimously tell us that this country needs new leadership.  Each of them also believes that they are just the one to bring it to the White House.

Leadership.  What is leadership?  There are many iterations of definitions.  One definition is the ability to clearly communicate a vision, show a path for that vision, and get people to join the journey to help see to its fulfillment.

It’s what coaches have to do to get a group of players, regardless of the sport, to believe in what they are doing and come together as one to achieve their goals.

Good candidates should project as good coaches.  So, this made us wonder.  Who in the sports coaching world past or present reminds us most of the individuals on stage last evening.  In the scouting world it’s called comps.  Our best guesses at the comps follow.

Bernie Sanders sports an unkempt gray hairdo that he “hand combs” frequently.  Strong-willed and unrelenting, Bernie has a vision.  If challenged, he reddens in the face and raises his voice to accentuate a point.  It’s his way or the highway.  We get the feeling that when he dies he wants to be buried face down so that everyone can kiss his buttocks.  He hasn’t thrown a chair yet, but our comp is Bobby Knight.

Michael Bloomberg reminds us most of Hank Stram.  Bloom stands barely above the podium at about five feet and seven inches.  Stram needed 1970’s platform shoes to get to that rarefied air.  Both are/were smug and speak with squeaky voices.  Full disclosure- Stram was known to wear a trench coat on the sidelines, weather permitting, back in the day.  Flashy for fashionable reasons.   Nondisclosure- Bloomberg was known to wear a trench coat in the office, regardless of weather, back in the day.  Flashy for all of the wrong reasons.

Elizabeth Sanders has no direct identifiable comp, though George O’Leary and his falsified resume’ come to mind.  Undeterred, it’s obvious that she still wants skin in the game regardless of the sport.  As a kindred spirit, it’s well known that she covets coaching positions with the Washington Redskins, Cleveland Indians, and Florida State Seminoles.  But. she’s no George Allen nor Bobby Bowden.  Of course, their contracts were never taken from them due to pregnancy either.

Tom Steyer, we hardly know you.  Stoic, simple, and possibly a bit boring, Steyer is a marginal match with former Minnesota Viking Head Coach Bud Grant.  Grant was four times a bridesmaid and never a bride in Super Bowls.  Steyer could run three more times himself and we doubt highly that America would propose to him as well.  Grant won 283 NFL games, good for third all-time but we hardly knew him.

Joe Biden is a dead ringer for Les Miles.  Both have been in the game for a long time.  Yesterday Biden asked for your vote during a presentation.  It’s must-see Gaffe TV, again.  One is bad at debate clock management.  The other is bad at game clock management.  Biden prefers plugs to dye.  Miles prefers dye to plugs.  Both were relevant decades ago.  Both are still in the game, but we wonder why.

Amy Klobuchar projects more as an on-field leader than a sideline coach.  She’s a throwback 10-year plug and play three-down middle linebacker if there ever was a guy named Dick Butkus.  She even referred to her Uncle Dick (no relation to Butkus) in the deer stand last evening when discussing gun control.   Back in the day slick, tight-fitting helmets were made of leather.  Amy’s helmet hair hairdo looks and likely feels much the same, while Butkus sported a crew do.

Pete Buttigieg has an uncanny ability to inflect his voice like, parse his words, and use the same words as Barrak Obama.  It’s so uncanny that many openly wonder if it’s admiration or plagiarism.  Mayor Pete talks a big game but hasn’t coached in one yet.  Houston Texan Head Coach Bill O’Brien learned from Bill Belichick in a similar fashion and borrows attitude, mood, and words from Belichick similar to Pete’s wordsmith feats.  Both aspire to get to the big stage.  Not yet.

Ronald Reagan wanted to win one for the Gipper.  The seven left standing on stage want to win one as well.