Tuesday we forecasted the first six months of 2025. Today we tackle the back half.
Tuesday night Trump rallied behind Mike Johnson, so prediction number one might ring true even before the New Year begins.
July
The Arizona Diamondbacks open a nine-game lead over the LA Dodgers as Shohei Ohtani misses five straight games attending a Lamaze retreat. Trump pardons all but the last six J6 convicted felons. Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau goes public with his relationship with RuPaul. Ann’ecdote, the first named hurricane of the Atlantic season scrapes Key West and fizzles. Aaron Rodgers announces his retirement.
August
The NY city trash workers strike enters week three. Mayor Eric Adams finds the situation untenable saying, “This place stinks worse than our pro football teams.” JD Vance casts the tie-breaking vote in the Senate to institute voter ID laws consistent in all 50 states. California says it won’t comply. Number one overall NFL draft pick Sheddur Sanders holds out of the NE Patriots camp threatening to enter the transfer portal seeking more money.
September
Shohei Sadaharu Oh Ohtani, 12 pounds 10 ounces and 24 inches long, was born two weeks early. Droughtaggeddon finally relents in Nebraska, Kansas, and Iowa but a nationwide corn shortage worsens. Bill Gates peddles Beyond Corn. Kamala Harris’ book Aged Like Fine Wine debuts at number one on the NYT bestseller list. President Trump awards The Village People the Congressional Medal of Honor.
October
Vivek Ramaswamy resigns from DOGE citing irreconcilable differences with Elon Musk. The Yankees offer Son Oh Ohtani a three-year minor-league contract for 60 million. The Arizona Diamondbacks win the World Series. Elon announces xPhone 1 will go on sale for Christmas and include free internet access for life. The 2026 federal budget is presented with spending requests planned down 11.7% and tax cuts galore. Wall Street rallies the Dow back over 44k.
November
The Washington Commanders end Oct 9-0 but fall to the Carolina Panthers ensuring no team goes undefeated yet again. The bird flu spreads to turkeys causing a nationwide beef shortage around Thanksgiving. Bill Gates peddles Beyond Turkey. Hunter Biden is detained trying to enter the White House, yelling, “I left some valuables here a while back.” Karine Jean Pierre enters the book biz with Say It Ain’t So, Joe. America takes the Panama Canal back. Trump Enterprises purchases 12 acres from the US for $1 along the canal to build a mega hotel and casino complex.
December
The CFP Committee selects 5 SEC and 4 Big Ten teams for the expanded 16-team playoffs. ESPN buys a financial stake in Alabama football. Barron Trump launches a podcast. The US Department of Defense says that the drones over New Jersey are mostly contained. Trump’s executive order renames Mount Denali back to Mount McKinley. Two days later bright orange lava erupts for the first time.
Happy New Year!!
Philadelphia and Buffalo send Super Bowl LIX to overtime before the Bills win their first Lombardi Trophy 34-28, oddly the same score as the CFP Championship. President Trump begins the deportation of illegal immigrants and is forced to call out the National Guard in Chicago. Troublesome interest rates sink the Dow Jones under 40,000.