With hot dogs, apple pie, prohibited fireworks, and tearing down statues, America celebrated it’s 245th Fourth of July. It’s life in the year 2020. Oh, and there is this coronavirus problem, too. So below, it’s life served up one nugget at a time, and ten in all. Pass the BBQ sauce and dig in.
- Portland, as American as it gets it the weirdest of ways, had a big monument, and a bronzed elk perched beautifully on top. Yes, an elk. Had. Some “peaceful” protesters lit it on fire Saturday and kicked the elk to the curb. ANTIFA took credit (if you want to call it that). Either the elk was racist or Portlandian vegans’ disdain for meat reached its zenith.
- Ghislaine Maxwell, Jeffery Epstein’s lover and procurer of underage girls was arrested in New Hampshire Sunday. The noise you heard from across the pond was Prince Andrew’s exasperation. The noise you heard on this side of the pond was Bill Clinton’s exasperation. The FBI has recommended she be held in Bubba Wallace’s garage during her mandatory forty eight hour suicide watch. They know for a fact that there are no nooses there.
- She has a story or twenty to tell. Might she know where Carol Baskin’s husband is as well? Tiger King was the most-watched Netflix documentary ever. If Maxwell is smart (see what we did there?) she’ll spill it all and collect the coins like a king from the streaming network of her choice. All she has to do is survive long enough to tell it.
- CNN reported, and we quote, “a young protester has died from injuries she suffered when a luxury car plowed into her and another woman during a Black Lives Matter protest Saturday on a Seattle Freeway that has been shut down for days due to the civil unrest, police said.” It’s getting harder and harder for CNN to lower the bar. But, try, try, try they have. You can’t stop looking at the word “luxury” can you?
- It turns out that the white protester, dressed in all black, was struck down by a black driver in the middle of the night. If those facts were reversed, do you think the story’s biased slant would have gone down a dramatically different slope? Stack another dead body on top of the pile. The freeway was not located in the town formerly known as CHAZ. Everything else in CHAZ was free, but it had no freeways running through it.
- Head Coach Mike Gundy of the Oklahoma St. Cowboys survived a two-week investigation into his leadership of the football program. The internal inquiry spanned two weeks and the AD and his minions interviewed over 20 players. This came to a boil when Gundy went fishing in an OAN tee shirt. The investigation found no indications nor incidents of racism. It did find that relationships between Gundy and several players were strained. With several teams changing nicknames, maybe “Cowboys” should hit the bricks as well. “Soyboys” anyone?
- Gundy voluntarily agreed to a million-dollar salary reduction and a lesser buyout in dollars and fewer years on his contract. Good for him we guess. Way back in the day bosses and employees or coaches and teammates had a person to person conversation, shook hands, and came out of the other side in a better spot. Gundy also agreed to never shout “I’m a man” again. No, he didn’t.
- The Washington Redskins organization has decided to take a deep dive (again) about removing the “Redskins” moniker. It’s faced this fourth down and long a few times. This time they’ll likely punt. Once the offensive nickname goes, will “Washington” have to follow? The team’s ownership is the league’s worst as well. It should go too. The minority owners have 40% of the franchise. They’ve had it with majority owner Daniel Snyder. They’ve formed a search team looking for buyers as they’d like to sell out as well. In summary, the whole organization is a sellout and offensive to boot.
- Rapper Snoop Dogg has smeared several prominent black conservatives, again. He labeled them the “Coon Bunch.” His Sunday Instagram post arranged the 11 just as the Brady Bunch appeared on TV. Herman Cain, Candace Owens, and Terrance Williams amongst others were depicted. Noticeably absent was Kanye West who is a big Trump supporter. It turns out that Dogg and West are collaborating on some production work. “Coon” and “Uncle Tom” are common slurs used by black Americans against black conservatives. Sounds divisive.
- When America is done burning down cities, changing street and team names, and knocking down statues will it actually have a frank conversation about what the root cause of all of this is? Real change comes from within. Brutal honesty will be needed. Are the accused and the accusers up for it?
Oh. One last nugget. If FedEx wants out of their naming rights relationship with the Redskins, BBR is poised to step in. We want to make football in the DC area great again.
Stay out of the pool for thirty minutes after consuming these tasty morsels.