Holy Ice Cream, Batman!

You remember that noted health nut Jerry Nadler, don’t you?  On the national impeachment stage he played the role of Robin.  He was quite the actor, though the green tights seemed a bit binding at times.

Adam Schiff reprised the role of Adam West and starred as Batman.  Once Catwoman, aka Nancy Pelosi, shone the green light high into the DC night the caped crusader duo went about fighting all of the crimes that The Joker, well played by Donald Trump, committed.

The play played nonstop for what seemed like forever.  As the trio carried the impeachment articles down the hall of Congress, another villain snuck onto the world stage. His name is COVID-19.

After the two impeachment votes failed in the Senate it seemed like ole Jerry went into the deep freeze like The Penguin, or even like Joe Biden.  #WhereIsJoe and #WhereIsJerry?  Well, this week Jerry surfaced.   Rumors abound, that like a penguin, Jerry was enjoying the chill in Nancy Pelosi’s side by side twin Sub Zero freezers.  There is so much ice cream to hide under it’s like heaven to Jerry.  Is it a new character opportunity perhaps?

Nadler, now mostly thawed, tweeted yesterday.  “We need to come together to beat this disease, not attack each other and divide the country.  This is a disgrace.”  Oh, the irony.  It’s as thick as a tub of Ben and Jerry’s Fudge Brownie Chocolate.

Did Nadler’s actions around Impeachment help the country come together?  And, eight weeks into the fight Jerry decides to weigh(careful now) in now?  Did Nancy, with the old sweater tied just so around her shoulders, help too by showing off her stache of decadence?  Three weeks ago, Adam Schiff floated the idea that his Intelligence Committee would begin looking into who knew what and when about this “disease” as Jerry calls it.  That’s lending a helping hand right in the middle of it.

Fear not though, Nancy told the nation on Sunday that Congress would remain recessed until May 4th, unless there was a major crisis.  Hello?  Anyone home?  Oops, sorry, apparently everyone is home.

“Come together.”  It sounds so inclusive.  It sure beats “Together Apart.”

Will Jerry have another part on a national stage soon?  We can only hope that this crime-fighting team can “come together” one more time to provide us with the great entertainment we’ve come to expect.

After all, there is only so much Netflix left to watch, together of course.

 

Lefty and Shorty-Trials, Tribulations, and Turtles

Way way back in 1966, or 1967 Lefty and Shorty were the amiable service station attendants.  Well, that’s what they were called back then as every pump was full serve.   Boom Boom interacted with them as they checked the oil, washed the windshield, pumped the gas, and took the money.

Lefty sat to the left of Shorty.  Imagine that.  Shorty sat on the shorter of the two “halves” of the 55 gallon drum. Imagine that.  Each were cut down to size and retrofitted with a soft cushion top.

They were funny. They always had a back and forth to their banter.  If they were alive last night might have gone like this.

Lefty- It’s nearly midnight and it’s cold. Nobody’s buying gas at this hour.  Why are we sitting here?  Shorty- So we can flip back and forth between the impeachment trial and the Kansas St. versus Kansas basketball game.   Lefty- The Senate Trial is still going on at this late hour?  Shorty- Speaking of this late hour I’ve got this last car that pulled in.  They are good tippers. Lefty- Fine.

Five minutes later.

Lefty- You missed it!  Shorty- What?  Lefty-  They tried to hit the man with the chair.  Shorty- They tried to hit Chairman “Pencil Neck” Adam Schiff?  Lefty-  No. No. It was in the game.  Shorty- Oh.  Why did he do that?  Lefty- I guess he was tired of watching his opponent try to drain threes.  Shorty- I thought maybe they were tired of watching Schiff and Nadler obstruct Trump trying to drain the swamp.  Lefty- Jeez.

Shorty- What’s Trump on trial for again?  Lefty- It’s for abuse of power and obstruction of Congress.  Shorty-  Obstructing this Congress seems like a good idea.  Lefty- What?  Shorty- Doesn’t Mitch McConnell look like a bug eyed swamp fly that we clean off of windshields all day long?  Lefty- Please.  The irreverence.  Shorty- And Nadler, he looks like a snapping turtle.  I wouldn’t get between him and a late lunch.

Silence filled the air again.  Lefty, after some deep breathing and reflection, and against his better judgment, gave it one more go.

Lefty- What do you think the final outcome will be?  Shorty- It was 81-60 Kansas, remember.  Lefty- NO!  The outcome of the trial.  Shorty- I’m not sure.  The right is screaming “four more years” and they control the Senate.  Lefty- And?  Shorty- And the left is screaming “lock him up” but don’t have the votes.  It seems bogged down like a swamp.  And, America is running out of patience.    Lefty-  I know the feeling.  Maybe the chair will be useful after all.  Shorty- Schiff?  Lefty-  I’ll lock up.