The fake noose story wound up last evening on the fake news channel CNN.   It started in garage no. 4, spread through the NASCAR community faster than cars coming out of turn no. 4, went through an FBI investigation, and crashed on Don Lemon’s show.

And it seems everyone is upset.  Earlier this week in a statement NASCAR said it was “angry and outraged.”  Bubba Wallace said to Lemon last night, “I’m mad because people are trying to test my character and the person that I am and my integrity.”

What started as NASCAR making white people with rednecks unhappy that they can no longer bring their Confederate flags to the races ended with 32 race car drivers symbolically pushing Wallace’s car over the finish line as if it had run out of gas.  People had knots in their stomach over the knot in the garage.  And now the story has run out of gas.

It turns out that the noose was not a noose, but was a garage door pull visible in video as far back as October of 2019.  Or, if you prefer, it was a noose knot tied to serve as a garage door pull.  If there were any Boy Scouts left we’d ask them what it was.  What it wasn’t was a symbol of hate aimed specifically at Bubba Wallace.

So the sport that takes four left turns about 500 times every weekend took a wrong turn trying to take a right turn further to the left.  Got that?  But in today’s woke world it’s better to overreact than to underreact.  You can back away from the narrative later, but you can’t get left behind when they wave the green flag.  Gentlemen, start your narratives!

And, this makes banning the Confederate flag yesterday’s news.  If you tear down a statue today people aren’t as mad about the one you tore down yesterday.  The Movement moves fast, NASCAR fast.

Thank goodness 15 FBI experts investigated immediately.  There must be a joke in here somewhere.  How many FBI investigators should it take to thoroughly examine a garage door pull?  None.  It was 15 too many.  Let the local blue that the “peaceful protesters” want to defund investigate it.   But in today’s world enough is never enough.

NASCAR might be misfiring on a few cylinders with its fanbase.  Or, not.   Time will tell.

And you thought getting back to sports would provide an escape.

Somebody wave the checkered flag and end this nonsense already.