Last week we lightened it up a bit on Friday. The audience was howling in the aisles. We offered a few examples of how tough life would have been for Rodney Dangerfield to have lived through these times.
Are you kidding? It was tough to be Rodney during “normal times.” A dozen examples of how tough it was to get respect way back when are below.
- I come from a stupid family. During the Civil War my great uncle fought for the west!
- I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
- I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent back a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.
- My uncle’s dying wish was to have me sitting on his lap. He was in the electric chair.
- This morning when I put on my underwear I could hear the Fruit of the Loom guys laughing at me.
- My wife isn’t very bright. The other day she was at the store, and just as she was heading for our car, someone stole it! I said, “Did you see the guy that did it?” She said, “No, but I got the license plate.”
- A girl phoned me and said, “Come on over. There’s nobody home.” I went over. Nobody was home!
- If it weren’t for pick-pocketers, I’d have no sex life at all.
- I met the surgeon general. He offered me a cigarette.
- I went to see my doctor. I told him once, “Doctor, every morning when I get up and look in the mirror I feel like throwing up. What’s wrong with me? He said, “I don’t know, but your eyesight is perfect.”
- What a childhood I had, why, when I took my first step, my old man tripped me!
- I worked in a pet store and people kept asking how big I’d get.
Unless it’s the NFL Draft turn off the TV.