Lefty and Shorty-WNBA, Vacation, Parade

Last evening Lefty and Shorty were all but ready to close the Gulf Station.   It was a clear cool night, but cars were nowhere to be found as most folks likely were home watching the MLB playoffs.  Lefty- Welcome back.  A week-long vacation is a long time.  Shorty-Thanks, I think.

Lefty sat to the left of Shorty.  Imagine that.  Shorty sat on the shorter of the two “halves” of the 55-gallon drum. Imagine that.  Each was cut down to size and retrofitted with a soft cushion top.

Lefty- Did you go anywhere?  Shorty- Phoenix, really Scottsdale.    Lefty- What was the mood with the Mercury?  Shorty- Nobody pays attention to it out there, it’s always hot.

Lefty-No, not the thermometer, the Phoenix Mercury women’s basketball team’s loss in the WNBA Finals.  Shorty- Oh, nobody pays attention to it out there either.  Lefty- Wow.  Well did you watch it?  Shorty- What?Lefty- The Chicago Sky beat the…  Shorty- The Chicago Sky?  How could I see that? I went to Phoenix.   Lefty-  I know, I know.  Did you watch the final game on TV?  Shorty- Oh. No.  I don’t think they had the Bravo Channel on the hotel TV.

Lefty- Moving along. They had a parade for the Sky yesterday.  Shorty-  How’d that go?

Lefty- It was sparely attended it seems.  Shorty- What if you threw yourself a party and no one came?  Lefty- Last week the WNBA Commissioner said that she thought the social justice stance that the league took in 2019-2020 gave them a whole new platform to reach a far greater audience.  Shorty- How’d that go?  Maybe they’re allergic to confetti?   Lefty- Whew, you must have slept well last night!

Shorty-  Did you hear the one about the WNBA and Brian Laundrie?  Lefty- I don’t want to. Shorty- Ok.  Too soon?  Lefty- Way.  Shorty- Maybe if the league offered free booster shots?  Lefty- Holy Mary Mother of God, pray for us.  Shorty– The fans in stands seem at least six feet apart, a booster might bring them together.

Lefty- Just one more question should do it.  What do you think of the Sky’s mascot?   Shorty- Sky Guy?  Lefty- Yes.  Shorty- Wrong pronouns if you ask me.  Lefty- I did.  Shorty- What?  Lefty- The best I could.

 

 

Ten Piece Nuggets- Sports (sort of)

Pro sports are slowly returning.  Did you notice?  Did you watch any over the weekend?  Unfortunately, the “great escape” that watching the games has provided, it doesn’t do so any longer.  Intertwined are political statements and COVID-19 rules and precautions.  Such is 2020, but hopefully not much beyond.  We’ve got some nuggets on all of this below.

  1.  Major League Baseball threw out the first pitch late last week and played hardball all weekend.  The Miami Marlins beat the Philadelphia Phillies in Philly yesterday to open the season 2-1.  Instead of flying home last night, the team plane remained grounded in Philly as four Marlins tested positive for “you know what.”  Jose Urena, Miami’s starting pitcher was one of them.  Updated: The Marlins positive tests now number 14 players and tonight’s home opener is canceled.
  2. The NFL is playing its own version of hardball. Its final player protocol, expected to be released as early as today, has some harsh realities built-in.  Players were told on a conference call with NFLPA leadership that they could face discipline, including fines, for conduct detrimental to the team if they are found to have contracted COVID-19 through reckless activity away from the facility.   All of the details are here.
  3.  We assume the NFL would not be happy if one of its players decided to act like NBA LA Clipper’s player Lou Williams. The NBA has placed him in 10-day quarantine after the guard was investigated by the league for what he did while on an excused absence from the Orlando, Florida, campus.  Williams was photographed by the rapper Jack Harlow at an Atlanta strip club. Harlow quickly deleted the post from his Instagram story and tweeted Friday, “That was an old pic of me and Lou. I was just reminiscing cuz I miss him.”  There is but one small problem with that story-in the photograph, Williams is holding a drink and wearing an NBA mask given out on the Orlando NBA bubble campus.
  4. Williams admitted that he went to the Magic City strip club in Atlanta for a short time on Thursday, but said that there were no entertainers present while he was there.  Sure.   Don’t you go to a race track when no horses are running?  He records the first double-double of the NBA season before it even starts.  The only thing worse than a lie is a bad coverup.
  5. The WNBA swung into action as well.  Like MLB they are playing their games sans fans.  Of course, the WNBA always plays their games without any fans, don’t they?  The Seattle Storm tipped off the 2020 WNBA season in Bradenton, Fla. with an 87-71 win over the New York Liberty.  Before the opener, both teams walked off of the court and “respectfully,” per the press release, stayed in their locker rooms during the playing of the National Anthem.  Respectfully, we wonder how a league significantly subsidized by the NBA, and with no fans in the stands, exists.  If a tree falls in the forest, well, nevermind.
  6. Mike Ditka shared his thoughts on all of this kneeling and/or protesting around pro sports and the flag and the national anthem.  Iron Mike said, “If you can’t respect our National Anthem, get the hell out of our country.”  If Ditka were still relevant on the NFL scene as a coach or commentator he’d likely be fired for that statement in today’s cancel culture.  Free speech is quite costly these days, but we digress.
  7. Charles Barkley, a big-time BBR favorite, shared a thought on who should vote for whom in the upcoming fall elections.  “Poor people have been voting for Democrats for 50 years and they are still poor,” Chuckster lamented.   Like Ditka, Barkley likes to keep things simple and to the point.
  8. Swinging back to baseball, surely by now you’ve seen Dr. Anthony Fauci throwing (we use that word very loosely) out the first pitch Friday at the Washington Nationals game?  Arizona Congressman Andy Biggs got in the best of the digs.  He tweeted, “Fauci’s first pitch came closer to the plate than any of his COVID-19 predictions.”
  9. And surely you’ve heard that the NFL team formerly known as the Redskins will, for now, be called the Washington Football Team.  Some on Twitter suggested “Washington Team Football,” or WTF for short.  Kids these days.
  10.  Remember the guy that was going to be MLB’s first bigtime two-way player since Babe Ruth?  He was so good that he would bat on days that he wasn’t pitching, and pitch on days that he wasn’t batting.  That was 2018 sensation Shohei Ohtani of the Los Angeles Angels.  In his first 2020 start, after 20 months on the shelf repairing an ulnar collateral ligament, Ohtani lasted 20 minutes and did not record a single out.  He did give up four singles while walking three batters though. Not to worry, it’s a long season.  Wait, no it’s not.

If you get an extra three minutes today, be sure to catch those Storm v. Liberty highlights.

If a tree……..

 

Lefty- The WNBA Final Is Tonight, Shorty- The What?

In my best Al Pacino voice, ” let me reintroduce you to my two little friends, Lefty and Shorty.”  It’s already been a year since they dissected the women’s sports scene.  But, first we digress a bit.

Way way back in 1965, or 6, or 7 we frequently made a Sunday PM trip to the Gulf Gas Station a couple of miles from our house.  I did not know it then, but it was on that road and back that my father (Boom Boom) began teaching his lessons of life to me.

Lefty and Shorty were the amiable service station attendants.  Well, that’s what they were called back then as every pump was full serve. Sunday’s were slow.  We had their full attention.   Dad interacted with them as they checked the oil, washed the windshield, pumped the gas, and took the money.  He often tipped them as well.  They were the main characters in the first lesson I learned.  They were funny. They always had a back and forth to their banter.  And, they always had a kind word or three.

If Lefty and Shorty were alive today their exchange may go something like this.

Lefty- The WNBA Final game is tonight.  Shorty-  The what?  Lefty- The Connecticut Sun face the Washington Mystics in a winner take all game five.  Shorty– Who?  Lefty- The series is tied two to two.  Shorty- The Astros and the Rays are tied two to two.  Winner advances.  Loser goes home.  Lefty- And that has exactly what to do with the basketball game?  Shorty I think a lot more people are paying attention to that playoff game.  Lefty- You aren’t going to watch it?  Shorty- I am.  Gerrit Cole is on the bump for the Stros.  Lefty- NO.  The basketball game.  Shorty- Is the basketball game being played in China?  Lefty– NO. Huh? Shorty-  Good thing.  Fewer people?  Those watching the WNBA tonight or LA Dodgers fans supporting Dave Roberts decisions last night?  Lefty- I’m going to fix a flat tire.

 

You can count on Lefty and Shorty from time to time when a spirited debate is needed.

Lefty– Say bye for now Shorty.  Shorty– Bye for now Shorty.